Wedding Tactics

A good friend of mine is getting married next month.

She is getting some very interesting responses from guests. Many of the guests, in fact, two thirds of them are personal friends of each set of parents. If you have ever had a wedding you know that these guests give good gifts and lot of money but, also just exist to cost you money and cause you to need more tables and stress over the seating arrangements.

My friend? She is patient. She is … quite kind.

A guest recently replied the following:

“Will attend” was crossed out.

“Might attend” was penciled in.

A note was attached to call them a week, a WEEK! before the wedding to find out if they would be attending. Upon calling to clarify the note, it was discovered that they said, not to worry about food or final counts but that they would bring their own food!

Ya’ll … a wedding requires a lot of planning. The bride is stressed enough. Don’t send messages like that! Ever! Either you will attend or not attend, and you must decide with great certainty, barring emergency situations, by the date the reply is requested.

Clearly this guest did not consider a table and seating arrangement. Nor did they realize that unless you have a medical condition, bringing your own food is rude. And! In most venues, it is illegal, according to local health codes to bring your own food into an establishment that serves their own.

If you don’t know how to be a good wedding guests, or if you just want to check on your recent etiquette, read this entry here.

If you want a really good laugh, read this entry where I wrote to a relative who had made very person inquiries as to her “needs” at my wedding.

In looking back at my archieves, I’ve written a lot about being a good guest, being good to your guests and it never ceases to amaze me when people are inconsiderate. The most important thing to remember is that if you are invited as a guest, be gracious and thankful. If, for any reason, you don’t feel gracious toward those who invited you, be the better person, the more respectable person, and send regrets. Remember, an invitation is a courtesy, just because you aren’t invited doesn’t mean you weren’t considered, be aware of space and money constraints that people undoubtedly face when having a wedding.

And if you go to the wedding, be a good guest and have a great time!