Traditions on Thursday - Premarital Counseling
It is very common for an engaged couple to seek counseling prior to their marriage. Some states are now requiring several hours of a premarital class or clergy-guided counseling in order to be granted a marriage license.
You know something? It’s probably not a bad idea.
Traditionally, when clergy, a Rabbi, Priest, Minister, etc … marry you, you spend some time with them prior to the wedding to just talk things over. They may ask you about your future career and family plans and just listen and watch you interact as a couple. Also, the person marrying you often likes to get a feel for the union they are about to be blessing. One of the major duties of all clergy members is to provide emotional and spiritual support to their congregants. Since marriage is a monumental life change usually occurring in a religious setting, or conducted by a religious leader, it is very fitting that couples seek some sort of counseling prior to the wedding day.
If you are not marrying in a state that requires this premarital counseling or, if you opt not to participate, you can take this handy little test and let your partner grade it. This is mostly for fun and entertainment – a ‘la Mad Libs. But! There is some very useful insights to be gained by taking this little test.
Each of these books is about $5.95 and available on Amazon.com and in most large book stores.
While counseling isn’t a major tradition, perhaps it should be. What do you think? Unfortunately, many marriages end in divorce, if we made counseling more of a “tradition” … perhaps it could save a few marriages and keep a few families together.
April 19th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
My fiancé and I are marrying in a Catholic Church (we both are Catholics
Part of the requirement was to partake in Precana - or marriage prep. Each diocese varies, but for the one where we live it is only a weekend long - two full days (I have heard some places being for 6 full weekends!) Although my fiancé wasn’t really looking forward to a full weekend of what he thought was going to be “preaching” about natural birth control methods, etc etc…it turned out to be something completely different. There were several different areas of marriage that we discussed as a group. The entire weekend mainly focused on effective communication and being proactive in a marriage~ We also did some fun/silly activities like filling out questionnaires… What I found really interesting about it was learning about not only ourselves and our relationship, but also the relationships of the different couples. Everyone appeared to be at a “different” stage in their relationship…but all wanting to make the same commitment, marriage. My fiancé and I have lived together for a few years, but many of the other couples had not - some had also not had sex before marriage. We all had different fears/concerns going into marriage and this marriage prep was a really great way to get them out into the open. Get other peoples experience and perspectives on it. I highly recommend some form of marriage prep!
November 9th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
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