Wedding Tactics

I have thus far avoided the topic of Dads and Daughters when it comes to weddings because I am extremely close with my Dad and I’m crazy excited to have him walk me down the aisle and dance with me, but it is also a little sad because sometimes I feel like I won’t be daddy’s little girl anymore. Not that I am right now, but getting married is in itself, an historically, giving yourself to another man, or answering to another man, or just extremely symbolic that your father isn’t the main number ONE man in your life anymore.

In the past few months I have come to see that my Dad and I will also be close and nothing will change our relationship, not even me getting married, changing my last name and having a family of my own with another man. My father will be a part of this in a new way as he becomes a father-in-law and later, a grandpa.

Traditionally in most weddings, the father walks the bride down the aisle and “gives her away”. The “ownership” of a woman is quite outdated, but the tradition still stands firm because it is a romantic notion that we all like to hold onto. The idea of my father walking me down the aisle is one I have thought about for a long time. In most traditional Jewish weddings both parents walk the bride down the aisle, however, I have added a slight twist so that my brother will walk my Mom down the aisle and my Dad will walk me. I just sort of like it that way.

Many people don’t have fathers who are living, involved in their lives or weddings or they have step-fathers to whom they are very close, or perhaps even a grandfather or uncle. It should never be a point of contention of stress over who will walk you down the aisle. It is not altogether uncommon to see a bride being escorted by her father and a step-father. That moment belongs to the bride and the bride alone. She should feel free to have anyone she wants walk her down the aisle, including a mother, if that is what she chooses.