Wedding Tactics

Dear Stacy, I just found out that one of my bridesmaids is pregnant. My wedding isn’t until October but I’m really worried about her being able to fit into a dress and being able to stand and participate. Should I tell her she doesn’t have to do it? How can I find a dress that will fit my size 2 sister and my 7-month pregnant, size-8 bridesmaid? Any suggestions?

Ah yes. This is a classic and rest assured, you are not the only bride who has had to deal with this issue. Just like being in your twenties is a death ritualistic sentence to attend more weddings in one decade than people you will ever know in your lifetime, it is also a time when your friends begin to start having babies and growing their families.

First off, I assume your bridesmaid is a close friend, no? Talk to her. She is most likely feeling guilt and concerned about being able to there for you, so, be sure to be understanding of her situation. She most likely wants to still participate, but is also concerned about the same things you are worrying about. Will her dress fit? How will her dress fit? Will she be able to actually see her shoes?

The Dress. Once you choose your dress, talk to the seamstress at the store and find out what can be done to accommodate a growing belly. Be sure to have your bridesmaid measured and with any luck, she can order a larger dress that will have room for a belly and the rest can be altered to fit her chest and arms. In the unlikely situation that a dress can’t be made for her, consider having her wear the same color, but a different style dress. Many dress stores and designers now make dresses as separates so that people can buy a different size top and bottom. If you are really set on all your bridesmaids wearing the SAME dress, consider having her as a bridesmaid, but not walking down the aisle, that way, she can wear an alternative dress, but still participate. She could hand out programs and assist you in other ways, and not have to be so visible to all the guests.

Just be honest with your friend so that she will be honest with you about her limitations and capabilities.