The Real Deal: Your Questions Answered
Dear Stacy:
I hastily asked a friend to be my best man when I should have asked my brother. What sort of damage control do I need to do to un-ask my friend and what sort of role can I ask him to play instead of best man?
Yes yes. These unfortunate moments do happen: you are out with a friend, a ballgame or a bar and in the celebration of the moment you somehow ask him to be your best man. You aren’t the first person to make this decision so hastily. And now you remember DOH! your brother is your sort-of-required best man. How to tell your friend you made a mistake? Is there any amount of damage control that can make up for this grievous momentary lapse in judgment?
You should approach the situation with sincere concern and apology. Think about how you would feel if this was you in your buddy’s position. Start by telling your friend that you really want him involved in your special day but that you remembered after the fact
that you really need to have your brother as your best man but that he can be your head groomsman and you’ll be sure to give him some special tasks if he wants. Explain that the title is just a title and you hope he can be your lead man in terms of the good bachelor party fun you’ll be having.
The bottom line is that accidents happen and weddings bring out the best and worst of people. Explaining your Oops moment as just a momentary lapse in the midst of the wedding whirlwind should be enough for any understanding friend.
Be sure to include your friend a little more than you would normally just to be sure all feelings are well healed.
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