Wedding Tactics

Thanks to Reader Andrea for asking me this question. I decided that I had enough to say about being a pregnant bridesmaid that I needed to write a follow-up entry about it.

Dear Stacy: You mentioned here that you were going to be a bridesmaid in a wedding while you were (very) pregnant…I have just found out I’ll be in two weddings at my 7 month mark and would love to hear more about your dress choice/fittings/lessons learned from the experience as a soon-to-be mom. Thanks and good luck with your newest addition!

Yes, I was in a wedding at 30 weeks pregnant. I was big. To give you an idea of my preggo shape, pre-pregnancy I was a medium build, larger busted, 5′4″ curvy but fit person. My pregnant belly is very much a big round belly all out front. I gained a little weight in my legs and arms but at the 30 week mark I wasn’t too preoccupied with it. Basically, my arms have looked fatter not pregnant. So, it was really a matter of fitting a should-be sleek gown over my not-so-sleek figure.

Here is what I suggest and what I learned … talk with the bride before hand of course and hopefully she will be understanding of your needs. Such as needing to sit more than usual or needing to much on crackers while your hair is being done. The wedding I was in was that of my closest friend and she was more worried about me than she ever needed to be … hopefully your bride will be slightly similar. I felt a little bad about being so much of a spectacle at my good friend’s wedding, but she didn’t see it that way.

I didn’t choose the dress myself, the bride did. She didn’t choose it specifically for my potential growth, but it ended up working out well. When she chose it, I wasn’t even showing at all - just bloated really. It was an empire waist gown which meant the only measurement was taken at the bust. They measured me in June when I was just at the end of my first trimester and added four inches to accommodate for any potential bust enhancements. In retrospect, they overestimated way too much. My chest didn’t grow that much, I was always, um, full-chested, but I didn’t grow drastically in size. I did go from a 34 inch bra to a 38 very early on, but I’m carrying high and I guess it was my rib cage expanding. I got pregnant at about a size 10 and the dress they ordered was a size 20!!! The bust ended up being a little too large, even though it was altered, and done well, I might add, the depth of the bust piece was larger than it should have been. However! The dress was navy which hid any imperfections that a light color wouldn’t.

I was going to wear heels … the other bridesmaids, were all taller than me and feeling so round as it was, I wanted to at least have height … but they talked me into flats at the last moment and I was really glad they did. My feet were not swollen then, but the heels would have been really not comfortable.

Oh, back to the dress issue: I would have preferred a maternity specific gown, however, at the time, I had no idea how big I would be and the bride wanted all the fabrics to be the same. I believe it was sheer over satin, or something that looked like that. And, that fabric didn’t come on the maternity styles. Many bridesmaid dress lines come also in maternity styles where you pick out a skirt (elastic waist) and the tops are what vary in coverage and style. I highly recommend trying to get a maternity dress if possible, otherwise, definitely, an empire waist — where it fits at the bust and then just hangs loosely.

I did feel large. I did feel out of place. But - I just decided to go with the flow. I wore something tight to the rehearsal dinner so it was obvious that I was pregnant and proud and that way, the next day, in the navy colored tent, I knew people KNEW I was just pregnant, not trying to shoplift a small chair under my dress.

And, finally, tips for getting through the day. At 30 weeks I had just hit the third trimester mark and I was getting tired easily again. I was worried about making it through the day without getting a headache or feeling nauseous, as I was starting to when I got overtired. So, I slept late that morning, ate well, packed some snacks and sat down as much as possible during the getting ready part. I tried to stay calm and relaxed too which helped a bit. During the ceremony, I sat a lot more than I usually would have too.

I recommend the following if possible:

1. A darker colored dress, it will hide imperfections that alterations can’t fix, will give you a slimmer line, and makes you feel a little less like a moonbeam when walking across the dance floor.
2. Flat shoes or very low wide heels
3. Don’t forget to eat and drink throughout the day.
4. Don’t be afraid to sit down when you need to — conserve your energy so you can enjoy the whole event.