It is with a heavy heart that I write this to you today, just over two years after I wrote my first posting here on Wedding Tactics.

It has been a pleasure to bring you wedding-related information and often times, wedding-un-related information. Thank you for seeing me through my own wedding ups and downs, and for giving me great fodder and etiquette questions to ponder over the years.

Weddings are really great times. They signify the merging of two families, two people coming together attempting to swim the murky waters of life and make a life together in happiness. I will warn you, the blissful feelings of your wedding day will fade in time, like rain clouds move in on a sunny picnic. Those clouds will drop rain but that too will pass and the grass will dry out again. A wedding is a day, an event, a celebration. A marriage is for life, at least it is intended that way and it should be. Marriage is difficult and trying at times and I caution you to take a moment in those harder times and remember the feelings of your being wedding day. Remember the flowers and the smiles and the kisses and why you decided to do it all in the first place. Remember how perfect you felt together walking hand-in-hand back down the aisle as a married couple for the first time.

Wedding planning can get hectic and emotions run high.  I urge you, don’t let the little problems get the best of you.  Remember what ultimately matters at the end of the day and what is most important.

This will be my last regular posting here on Wedding Tactics and I’m sad to be leaving, really, but as you well know, life moves on and I’m now juggling a family and more responsibility than I ever dreamed of on that one fateful day when I walked a rose-petal lined aisle under a cloud-less blue Florida sky where palm dreams looked like the did in my dreams. I have to cut back on some freelancing because there are only so many hours in the day.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for sharing. Thanks for following my own wedding and for letting me be a part of your happiness. If you would like to contact me at any time, please feel free to email me with anything you have on your mind, thestacy (at) gmail (dot) com — I will still be maintaining my personal site, The Fabulous Miss. S if you want to check in for an update.

The gowns are diverse and appear to appeal to a variety of style preferences.

This Melissa Sweet gown is the MONICA. The surplice bodice is embroidered and the dress is silk garza in ivory.  I actually like the cinching at the waist. I think this gown would be magic on a tall slim bride at a beach or poolside wedding.  This gown feel casual, flirty and fun.

This strapless Melissa Sweet gown called the BILLIE has ruched and ruffled appliques.  The gown comes in white or ivory silk taffeta.   I know style is a very individual thing and this gown does appeal to someone, possibly even many of you, but I don’t like it.  The uneven neckline is very en vogue but it just over complicates this already busy and poofy dress.  The tea length skirt, however, makes it appropriate for an afternoon wedding, a tea-party wedding, garden ceremony and morning occasion.  It would also work well as a second gown for someone who is looking to wear something shorter and more fun feeling for the reception only.

The final Melissa Sweet wedding dress as my mercy is this classic, delicate lacy piece. Known as the HALLIE this strapless gown is very slim with a silhouette bodice.  It is made of French lace and comes in diamond white and ivory. It is also listed in the most expensive category.  I think this dress is gorgeous.  I think this gown is simple and classic, not too busy but gorgeous and romantic.  The gown is formal and fit for a formal evening event.

Cartier platinum wedding band.

This hairstyle was worn for a traditional church wedding in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. This picture was taken by Faith West Photography.

And also:

This hairstyle was from a wedding in Frisco, Colorado. The bride is an earthy simple gal. This picture was taken by Karina Heneghan.

I know some people tend to think this is more elegant but personally, I’m not a fan of the harsh pull-back.

EHow explains how to get the shiny healthy hair that every bride wants.

Get any split ends you may have trimmed off. Regular trims are a must. Visit your stylist every four to six weeks to have the very ends trimmed to avoid your hair’s ends splitting.

For moderately damaged hair, find a good quality shampoo and conditioner. Choose products specifically for dry/damaged hair.

Try shampooing your hair less. Washing your hair every day can strip natural oils that help protect the hair and keep it looking and feeling healthy.

Give your hair a break from the heat. Whenever possible let your hair air dry either completely or most of the way and only blow dry to finish off the drying process. Try using your flat iron or hot rollers only every second or third day, which will be easier if you don’t wash your hair everyday. Just touch up in the morning instead of going through your entire styling routine.

Don’t want a new color but what the shine? Go for a glossing instead. This clear coat for your hair will give you the shine and smoothness of a color but won’t change your natural hair color one bit.

Avoid too many chemical processes, such as colors and perms, and avoid other hair wreckers such as chlorine, sun and tight elastic bands. Switch to semi-permanent colors, lay off the perms for a while and cover up your hair when in the sun or pool.

JCrew is selling this elegant, fitted bodice-empire-waist full skirt dress online, not in stores. This classic fit, scoopneck sleeveless dress is excellent for an Autumn wedding. The midweight silk-wool is sleek and shimmering black, blue grey and gold. I actually LOVE that it has on-seam pockets. While not obivious they are exactly what a bridesmaid needs to hold an extra hair pin or a little piece of paper with a speech on it. Retails for $345.

Next up is DaVinci. They make very classic bridesmaid gowns that have a modern twist of a ribboned sash or a funky neckline accompanying a flirty feminine bodice.

I really like this gown but I’m not sure the nude tone at the top will work with many skin-tones. If you like this dress, please have all of your ‘maids try it on for looks before you choose this one. The high waist however will give all figures a nice shape by creating the illusion of height and a narrow waist. Style 9226.

Taffeta is IN!  Iridescent taffeta is extra-IN style!  I love the flirty sashy waist of this gown, especially paired with super high silvery-toned heels. I can see this gown at an evening wedding. the shimmer of the fabric makes this dress extra fancy and fun.  Style 9200.

And we have Raylia Designs. This tank-strap taffeta dress has a square neckline which is flattering on a variety of body types. The skirt is an A-line and the defined waist is very much in style right now and it also creates a waist line if there isn’t one already. Raylia gowns are very affordable too. This is style 8430Z.

This is a touchy subject no matter what you choose because you will either end up with people disgruntled at your decision or a wedding that isn’t exactly what you want it to be. This is one of a handful of wedding issues where the debate is unfortunately unending.

First off, and it sounds like you have already done this, be sure that you and your partner agree on what you want for the wedding, that way, even if relatives and friends are upset, you have presented a united front and your families can’t blame each other.

Your finance does make a good point. It isn’t really, oh… I hate when I say these things, but it isn’t really “right” to have your kids there and not invite other kids. BUT! It’s your wedding, you are allowed to do whatever you want and people just have to accept that. (SIDE NOTE: I have friends getting married next year, the child issue is still being debated, they are much closer to my husband than to me. If they don’t allow kids, I will just stay home with Noah. You couldn’t pay me to camp out all weekend in a hotel in Random-Ass, New Jersey with a 16 month old and not even get the open bar benefit.) So, that said, some people may just decide not to attend. Can you accept that?

I would actually sort of recommend not letting the kids have a friend there. You said he has two kids, they can entertain each other, and more so, there will be a lot of family members there excited to see them and that might provide entertainment enough.

If you are at all on the fence, consider inviting kids and hiring a sitter to watch kids in an upstairs hotel room or at a local off-site home. Or, invite kids and then ask that they leave by 10pm so that there are a few adult-only hours for some good partying.

I respect your wishes and applaud you for tackling this issue head-on. The notion that you suggest isn’t really correct or acceptable by “etiquette” standards. If you can live with going wildly against Miss Manners, then by all means, go right ahead. I urge you to consider a few alternatives and specifically the idea that your kids may not need their own friends for entertainment.

Average bride will begin to mention to average groom-to-be that they need to make plans to register. Soon. Like, say, tomorrow morning.

At this point, the average groom looks at his dearly intended and realizes for the first of many times that is no longer in charge. He sighs but complies, because that is what good men do, listen and do what they are told. No?

Two months later, after a torrential period of nagging, begging and the occasional tear, the begrudging groom will oblige his dearly intended and they get in the car and joyfully-her/half-heartedly-him drive to the nearest Bed Bath and Beyond.

At the Registry counter of any department store in any-ville, America, right now, there is a man and woman about to experience exactly what I am describing.

Men - take notes!
Ladies - it really is this awesome.

After the messy red tape of a few pieces of paperwork, a store clerk will pull out a sku-gun. This is a tool vaguely resembling an actual weapon. Its purpose is to scan a sku, or UPC code and record that item to be later placed on your registry.

Groom’s eyes widen and for the first time since the moment he bought the ring, he feels control, power, choices! options! For he is wielding a mighty tool. Mightier than the electric drill.

The bride will now wander to the section of the store that is home to the much sought-after Kitchen-Aid mixer. She will read the label descriptions about the five-quart mixer and compare that to the six-quart mixer. She will debate and ask the groom what he thinks. As she notices drool on his chin, she quickly changes her question to color.

What color should we get? It only comes in black, white, orange, yellow, pea green, cobalt blue, empire red, copper, nickel, chrome, brushed steel, pearl, cinnamon and dark pewter.

Conversation ensues:

GROOM - {begins to choke on drool}

BRIDE - I think the yellow is so retro and funky, but the chrome will go with any kitchen we ever have!

GROOM - Ok.

The soon-to-be wed couple decide on the white Kitchen Aid because the groom has no taste or sense of adventure and doesn’t actually know what the Kitchen Aid IS. Also, the bride has read the How To Register Instructions and knows she can access her registry online and will soon change the color choice. She then tells her dear groom to scan the item.

“How?” he says…

Slightly annoyed at his lack of participation, bride retorts, “hold the gun and press the button until it beeps and then press enter.”

“That’s it?”

“YEAH!”

The happy bride walks googley-eyed to the bedding section to choose her sheets. For the first time in her life she can select sheets with a thread count higher than 250.

Meanwhile, the dear groom has realized the power he holds at his fingertips. He walks from one end of the aisle to the next examining every end-cap along the way stopping to add a quesadilla maker, fake boobs, condoms (Yes! Bed Bath and Beyond have these at the stores that have a health and beauty section) and a lint roller to his registry.

Half an hour later the bride emerges from the depths of the sheet collection to realize she has been talking to herself for a very long time and nothing she pointed at was zapped and recorded in her registry and then, she glances up to notice her dear husband-to-be excitedly adding two massagey-chairs and a football-themed hammock swing to the registry.

She tells her dear intended groom that they have done enough work for today and they can come back. He stutters but she grabs the gun and returns it to the clerk. The groom will excitedly talk about how fun it is to be involved and he is so glad he got to participate. The bride nods knowingly with a proud smirk.

Later that day when she checks her registry from the safety and comfort of her home computer, she learns just what the groom added to the registry, deletes the fake boobs and declares to go back to the store ALONE.

She also changes the Kitchen-Aid color to cobalt blue.

These cakes are THEME cakes, so hear me out on this one:

Do you and your guy play scrabble? Are you both writers? PhDs in English Literature? How about a Scrabble cake? You can choose a full size cake, or CUPCAKES and note the cookie on the side. There’s your favor!

Are you getting married in Washington, DC in April? Celebrate the Cherry Blossoms that the Nation’s Capital is so well known for in the Spring with this Cherry Blossom Cake.

Are you looking for a slight Eastern influence in your wedding, do you like the Cherry Blossom cake but thinks it needs something more to tie it into your theme, how about with the double happiness symbol? Or …in a different color?

This baker also makes a Star Wars cupcake with light sabers on top for the real effect.

Consider this in place of a groom’s cake for the real Star Wars fan, or if you are both fans, serve these as a sugary mid-reception dance-pick-me-up. Also, some bakers will make you mini-cupcakes for this purpose too. At a wedding last fall they served a little cup of sorbet between dinner and the cake. It was a nice refreshing touch.

These cakes are from The Pink Cake Box located in Denville, New Jersey.

Make your ceremony unique and special … Click here to read the entire article.

This hair was done by Elegant Hair by Giselle in Rockville, Maryland and the photo was taken by Weddings by Pamela.