Wedding Tactics

I live in Maryland.

My wedding is in Florida.

By definition, I am having a destination wedding.

HOLY MOTHER OF HELL what have I gotten myself into? Well … I shouldn’t be so dramatic, that was me a me a few months ago. Today? It’s more like “Ahhhhhhh!�? and “Anyone got a Xanax?�?

But seriously, destination weddings are common and NORMAL, and totally awesome. More and more frequently couples are opting for smaller more intimate ceremonies on location where the couple will honeymoon.

The Caribbean is such a popular locale for these destination weddings, I decided to feature some interesting traditions and customs unique to the Caribbean, because, if you are going to do it, you might as well do it right! And, as they say, when in Rome ….

Caribbean culture is a unique and very peculiar blend of African and European cultures. It varies from island to island, country to country and sometimes even from one end of the island to the other.

First off, the bride and groom dress in their best clothes and walk hand in hand through the streets to their church. During this time, the church bells ring and people come out of the homes to watch, they line the streets cheering for the couple and commenting on their clothing. Some people follow to the ceremony, however, formal invitations are rare and usually only sent to a few important or immediate family members, others attend the wedding because news of the event spread through word of mouth.

Caribbean island weddings don’t have a best man. The bride is escorted down the aisle by both parents, while she is covered in a veil. The ceremony is a mixture of Mayan, Christian, and African and at the end, the groom lifts the veil and kisses his new bride.

The reception often goes well into the night hours with lots of toasts to the new couple, a LOT of rum punch, curried goat, spicy jerked chicken, fried plantains and “black cake�?. “Black cake�? is traditionally a recipe handed down through women in the family, t consists of a pound of flour, a pound of brown sugar, a pound of butter, a dozen fresh eggs and a pound of dried currants, raisins, cherries and prunes that have been soaking in rum for anywhere from two weeks to one year! A steel-drum plays traditional island music while the party-goers dance all night.

Sounds fun to me, ‘mon!

Wedding in the gardens at The Four Seasons Nevis

Cayman Island Wedding

Do you know the significance of wearing a garter under a wedding dress?

I’ve often found myself deeply pondering where this custom came from. Garters come in pretty delicate white and lace, every color under the rainbow and they even feature icons of sports teams, colleges, and sometimes, fancy crystals. You can usually find a very pretty one for about $5.99 or, you can spend a small fortune. Your choice. The cheapest one I found while researching this entry was $1.99. The most expensive I saw? $54.99.

According to Wedding Flowers and More the garter traditions hastens back to an old English tradition where friends of groom would rip off their socks (Pheew!) and throw them at the groom. The first one to hit the groom on the nose was the next to be married. Before wedding gowns were such valuable items, people would rip off a piece of the gown and toss that at the groom.

Thank GOD the sock tradition is no more! I’ll take a garter toss any day over stinky socks. Good thing too, ‘cause my wedding is in May, in Florida.

The tossing of the garter, and the subsequent catching of the garter is thought to be good luck.

I will be wearing a garter, I already have it. I actually bought it WAY before I was engaged, because it was perfect for Marc. But! Since it is so “perfect for Marc�? … we won’t be tossing it.

It is also tradition for the bride to toss her bouquet to all the single women. Legend tells that the lucky gal to catch it will be the next to marry. After some quick calculations it seems that our guest list doesn’t include more than two single gals, and maybe one single guy. So, it doesn’t make much sense for us to do the tossing.

Themed Garters: The Wizard of Oz, featuring Toto (little weird, but you know, if it’s your thang!):

Fancy, pricey garter, with Swarovski crystal:

If your husband-to-be is a sports fanatic … (I can’t think of anyone like that!):

Remember how in The Sound of Music the Von Trapp family was rather superstitious and slightly compulsive about behaviors? Do you ever wonder where superstitions begin?

Austrians historically are very superstitious. It was once thought that it was unlucky for a woman to marry a man whose last name began with the same letter as hers. (Good thing I’m going from O to K). They even had a saying, “To change the name and not the letter is to change the worst and not the better,�? according to World Wedding Traditions Good thing I am not at all Austrian, it also bad luck to practice writing your new name before the wedding.

If you lived in Austria, you might try to get married on Monday because that meant “wealth�? and Tuesday if you were hoping for “health�? but Saturday meant, “no luck at all�?. Eeeek!

It was also thought that the veil provided protection from evil spirits as the bride was particularly vulnerable on her wedding day. When the bride is traveling to her ceremony if she sees a spider, a black cat or a rainbow, the omen of good luck is bestowed upon her. Another means of distracting those evil spirits was to have the bridesmaids dressed similarly to the bride, so as to provide confusion. If, while traveling to the ceremony, you come upon a chimney sweep, you know, when you stop for coffee at Starbucks, or you suddenly crave a Whopper, bring that chimney sweep with you to the wedding! For he is very good luck!

There is some debate about the omen of good and bad weather. However, snow? Snow! Snow is good! Snow is associated with fertility and wealth.

If your destination wedding is planned for Austria, leave the red and white floral scheme at home, because, red and white is symbolic of blood and bandages.

Those Austrian women sure know how to get a foot in the door with having a say in the relationship. The first partner to buy something after the wedding will be the dominant one in the relationship. It has been noted historically, in Austrian weddings, that the bride arranges to purchase some small item from a bridesmaid immediately after the ceremony.

And one final symbol that we should all look for in a wedding, snow. What!? It white! It goes with everything.

Ah…. snow. It means wealth and fertility …

It’s time for some wedding tradition education.

A chuppah is a canopy used in a Jewish wedding ceremony. It’s most original origin is not quite known. Judaism as it is practiced in America; both reform and conservative is very symbolic in its practices. Some pictures of actual chuppahs are below.

Traditionally, weddings were outdoors and the canopy created a more intimate space to take vows. It also represents the new home the couple will share. It is also a reminder of the desert tents that nomadic Jewish ancestors used. Mostly it represents a home. Spiritually, the covering of the chuppah represents the God’s presence over the covenant that is marriage. But this is really only true in the most conservative sense.

In Hebrew, “chuppah�? means “that which covers or floats�?.

A traditional chuppah is a fabric covering held up by four poles and it is open on all four sides. There are no size or dimension requirements. I know people who have made their own poles with bamboo and carved their names and wedding date into each pole while some people just let their florist do all the arranging.

I have seen the bunched fabric at the top made by a crafty family member or just your florist.

The tops of the poles are usually decorated with a floral spray. In some cases, the flowers for the chuppah alone can cost up to $800 and more!

In the ceremony, the bride and groom and their parents stand in the chuppah, along with the rabbi. It is typical for the bridal party to surround the chuppah in a half circle in the back, facing the audience.

As Judaism is very focused on symbolism, many of the traditions are malleable and therefore, there is a lot of room to make it your own.

A whimsical chuppah. I’d make one like this, if I had the time, I love how it is really funky but totally basic and very back-to-nature looking.