Wedding Tactics

If you have already chosen a date for your wedding you know firsthand what a delicate little woven web it is to avoid offending people, trying to make people happy and manage to get married before the end of the decade. For all you recently engaged couples who are still “thinking it over” and “not yet settled on a date” … here are some tips, pitfalls to look out for and general complaints you can expect to hear.

The wedding over a holiday weekend debate meant that travel would be more expensive but people wouldn’t necessarily have to take as much time off from work. I thought I would feel guilty for taking someone’s intensely coveted three-day weekend. Although, in hindsight, I didn’t think much about it once the date was chosen and the invitations were in the mail. What seems huge today will be a faint memory tomorrow.

I got engaged in July, and I always knew I wanted a Fall wedding. That meant that we either had a wedding in December (yes, I know, not so much autumn anymore and also soon) … or we waited a year and a half.

I was not going to wait a year and a half.

Marc also said NO to December for that whole too soon reason. Men! If you can train for a marathon in four months; you can plan a wedding in four months.

When we finally decided where we wanted to get married, we just looked at the dates they had available and the openings began in early May. I did not want to get married on Mother’s Day or Memorial Day. May 20th was the earliest that our venue was available, so, that’s how we decided on our date.

I had friends beg me not to get married in December because they had another wedding to attend the week before, also in Florida and that would have been a lot of traveling for them.

My brother-in-law-to-be also asked me to move my wedding date, after I had put down a deposit, because his girlfriend’s sister was getting married the weekend before, and that’s just a lot of wedding-time for them. Sorry guys, you’ll get over it.

So much for my Fall wedding, or my December wedding.

We chose our date based on what was available at our venue. This was really just the beginning of the flexibility I would need to extend for wedding planning.

I’ve been writing for Wedding Tactics for a full year now. When I started maintaining this site I didn’t know what it would become and how long I’d be writing. In fact, at the time, 451 Press was still just getting off the ground. In fact, its been pretty amazing watching the network grow along with my site.

My first posting discussed the differences between a marriage and a wedding. The first few months following this entry I used the planning of my own wedding as a guide for what to write about.

A few times I mentioned the issues in gaining a new set of parents and specifically, the mother-in-law.

I wrote a lot about dresses and veils and accessories.
And for a few months I had featured columns on certain days of the week, Trends on Tuesday and Traditions Thursday. I used these headlines as a means to explain traditions like the tossing of the garter.

April was a very popular month on this site. My stats went thru the roof, but that was a very popular wedding time of year. I get asked frequently about the Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue thing. The meaning and its history are detailed here.

One of my all-time favorite posting was about what guests should wear to a wedding. I noticed during the Spring months that several clothing stores were featuring lines of dresses for wedding guests. This is a good guide to style options depending on the wedding venue.

I got married in May. Then, I started a new job in June and my postings got a bit less frequent for awhile. Meanwhile, I did profile some great summer wedding themes.

As the year went on I tried to focus on all the different issues surrounding weddings, including mens clothing, or, tuxedos and a few funny stories too, like this one about a guy who lost his wedding ring.

And, finally, the most recent repeating column, Wedding Tactics: On Location, features vendors and venues in random cities. By featuring actual wedding business providers across the nation, I hope that readers from all states will be attracted to read and follow along and also to ask questions and participate in the Wedding Tactics dialogue. The On-Location feature can be seen here, here and here. And also here.

Thanks to all the readers who made this a successful year for me and 451 Press. I look forward to another even better year here.

Happy New Year!

While recently reading a bridal website, I saw that a bride had posed the question that her bridesmaids had asked her to come up with a shower theme that she might like. It is common to have a kitchen shower, or a linens shower … and the gifts then correspond with the theme.

A theme can help with decorations and help the bride get gifts she might need rather than things she doesn’t so much need as just want. However, a bridal shower can be totally successful without any specific theme.

If you want to have a bridal shower with themes to make sure the gifts are diverse consider having certain guests responsible for different areas of the “home”. For example, your shower can have the theme “Around the House” and each person or a few people can be assigned to each room. Thereby, the bride will get gifts for the kitchen, the bathrooms, the dining room and the bedroom. The bedroom gifts can be linens or lingerie … depending on who is invited and how er, uh… *exciting* you want to make the shower.

At any kind of shower, you can add some special meaning and memories to the day by asking guests ahead of time to contribute a favorite recipe. If you include the recipe cards in the invitation guests can fill it out ahead of time and at the party, you can put the recipe cards into a recipe notebook.

For more bridal shower ideas and to see some photos from my actual shower this past Spring, click on this link.

While it is not at all required or necessary, it can be helpful if your wedding has a color scheme or a theme to work with. It gives all the vendors something to build around. It helps determine what flowers will work best; unless of course, you KNOW what you want already. It can help you look for exactly what you want, among the myriad of choices and options.

Black and white is a classic theme. It is elegant and sophisticated and can make up for a lack of that in the venue while at the same time, it can enhance an already elegant and fabulous venue. All of the wedding colors can seem intimidating and black and white actually goes with anything, anywhere and at any time of day or year.

Here are some pictures to get you thinking about a black and white theme.

Remember, touches of color are very much okay too.

Bridesmaids in black dresses:

Invitation, black ink on white paper:

Bouquet, keeping with the black and white theme:

Simple centerpieces for a black and white theme wedding:

And, finally, a wedding isn’t a wedding without the cake:
And I couldn’t choose just one!

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I’ve been reading up on summer-wedding themes. If you are still planning a wedding for late summer 2007, consider these simple and summery themes.

The weather is hot. The days are long. Use nature. Be outside. Consider tents or a tree-lined area for shade. Consider anything on or around the seashore. Think: relaxed elegance. Use umbrellas, tents and trees for shade and decoration. Meal options? Fresh fruits and vegetables are plentiful this time of year. Opt for a bar-b-que style menu with lots of grilled chicken and fish, salads and local produce.

If you want to incorporate holidays and hobbies into a summertime wedding, the options are few, but there is the Fourth of July. Sparklers! - blue, red and white flowers and confetti-lined tables. You can have a fruit display of blue and red berries and whipped cream for white. Use your theme, it provides colors for you.

For some more elegance and less fire-risk, have a derby-inspired wedding. As in, Kentucky Derby. Think: women in sundresses and hats sipping mint juleps, finger sandwiches.

And finally, a nautical theme. Do you sail? Do you like the shore? Many country clubs and seashore restaurants have nautical themes in place already. Or, is your wedding small? Consider a wedding and reception on a boat.

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