Wedding Tactics

If you have already chosen a date for your wedding you know firsthand what a delicate little woven web it is to avoid offending people, trying to make people happy and manage to get married before the end of the decade. For all you recently engaged couples who are still “thinking it over” and “not yet settled on a date” … here are some tips, pitfalls to look out for and general complaints you can expect to hear.

The wedding over a holiday weekend debate meant that travel would be more expensive but people wouldn’t necessarily have to take as much time off from work. I thought I would feel guilty for taking someone’s intensely coveted three-day weekend. Although, in hindsight, I didn’t think much about it once the date was chosen and the invitations were in the mail. What seems huge today will be a faint memory tomorrow.

I got engaged in July, and I always knew I wanted a Fall wedding. That meant that we either had a wedding in December (yes, I know, not so much autumn anymore and also soon) … or we waited a year and a half.

I was not going to wait a year and a half.

Marc also said NO to December for that whole too soon reason. Men! If you can train for a marathon in four months; you can plan a wedding in four months.

When we finally decided where we wanted to get married, we just looked at the dates they had available and the openings began in early May. I did not want to get married on Mother’s Day or Memorial Day. May 20th was the earliest that our venue was available, so, that’s how we decided on our date.

I had friends beg me not to get married in December because they had another wedding to attend the week before, also in Florida and that would have been a lot of traveling for them.

My brother-in-law-to-be also asked me to move my wedding date, after I had put down a deposit, because his girlfriend’s sister was getting married the weekend before, and that’s just a lot of wedding-time for them. Sorry guys, you’ll get over it.

So much for my Fall wedding, or my December wedding.

We chose our date based on what was available at our venue. This was really just the beginning of the flexibility I would need to extend for wedding planning.

This outdoor wedding at the UC Berkeley Botanical Garden is featured on TheKnot and shows good use of nature and simple colors .

I’ve been writing for Wedding Tactics for a full year now. When I started maintaining this site I didn’t know what it would become and how long I’d be writing. In fact, at the time, 451 Press was still just getting off the ground. In fact, its been pretty amazing watching the network grow along with my site.

My first posting discussed the differences between a marriage and a wedding. The first few months following this entry I used the planning of my own wedding as a guide for what to write about.

A few times I mentioned the issues in gaining a new set of parents and specifically, the mother-in-law.

I wrote a lot about dresses and veils and accessories.
And for a few months I had featured columns on certain days of the week, Trends on Tuesday and Traditions Thursday. I used these headlines as a means to explain traditions like the tossing of the garter.

April was a very popular month on this site. My stats went thru the roof, but that was a very popular wedding time of year. I get asked frequently about the Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue thing. The meaning and its history are detailed here.

One of my all-time favorite posting was about what guests should wear to a wedding. I noticed during the Spring months that several clothing stores were featuring lines of dresses for wedding guests. This is a good guide to style options depending on the wedding venue.

I got married in May. Then, I started a new job in June and my postings got a bit less frequent for awhile. Meanwhile, I did profile some great summer wedding themes.

As the year went on I tried to focus on all the different issues surrounding weddings, including mens clothing, or, tuxedos and a few funny stories too, like this one about a guy who lost his wedding ring.

And, finally, the most recent repeating column, Wedding Tactics: On Location, features vendors and venues in random cities. By featuring actual wedding business providers across the nation, I hope that readers from all states will be attracted to read and follow along and also to ask questions and participate in the Wedding Tactics dialogue. The On-Location feature can be seen here, here and here. And also here.

Thanks to all the readers who made this a successful year for me and 451 Press. I look forward to another even better year here.

Happy New Year!

When I was planning my wedding, less than a year ago, I spent hours just looking for images on the Internet to give me ideas for everything from centerpieces to hairpieces. To help you with your wedding planning, I’ve decided to create an entry consisting of photos to help give you ideas. As the seasons change, wedding colors and dress styles change, so there really are endless ideas and images to choose from. When possible, I will give as much detail about the type of flower or brand of dress that I feature. If you have questions about where I found a certain image, please email me or leave a comment and I will give you more information.

Hairstyles

I predict that 2008 will see a lot of soft low-bun hairstyles with gentle accents like flowers and beading. If you are going to put flowers in your hair, be sure to speak with a florist first and use the ones that are most likely to hold up the longest. For example, stephanotis are great flowers, their little white brilliance is perfect for bridal hair, but they wilt very quickly in sunlight and heat. Instead, use orchids, they are much more hardy.
More hairstyle info can be found by clicking here.

Placement Cards

I really like these placement cards for an afternoon beach-side wedding. While they are not the most elegant, they are cute and would go very well with a surfer/beach/ocean ish theme. You can even touch it up by using a place-card holder like a little mini Adirondack chair or a small photo frame.

Flowers
I really like this bridesmaid bouquet. First of all, I love the pink! Gerber Daisies are one of my favorite flowers. I think they are whimsical and classic — at the same time. Also, the wrapping on the stems adds a very elegant touch. Also, as a bridesmaid, it helps to have something like that ribbon to pin a few extra hair pins into. You never know when the bride might need her veil re-secured.

Outdoor weddings are some of my favorite weddings. I, had an outdoor wedding — but before you commit to one, you should recognize a few issues that an outdoor ceremony presents.

You definitely lose a little control over some aspects of the day if you plan an outdoor ceremony. The obivious one is the weather. You are at the mercy of heat, cold, and rain. The other is that you can’t control each little decoration detail. For example, rose petal lining the aisle might blow around a little. It’s important to remember that outdoor ceremonies can be spectacular, but also you have to be a little flexible and it helps to embrace the concept that some things are just not controllable.

To see some other outdoor wedding sites in the San Francisco area, visit this website.

A … A-line skirt. Invented in the 1960s, it refers to a skirt that is slightly flared at the bottom, creating a very nice line for many body types.

B … Best Man: the term given to the head male assisting the groom in a wedding. In current times, a best man is generally responsible for planning a bachelor party, helping on the wedding day, holding the rings during the ceremony and providing friendly moral support to the groom and the couple.

C … Cut, Color, Carat, and Clarity The cour C’s of a diamond. Cut refers to the shape of the diamond, is it round, oval, pear shaped or emerald cut (rectangle). Color refers to the clearness of the diamond. Not all diamonds are alike. In fact, they are ranked on a scale of color from D to Z. But, for a ring, color usually only goes up to about a J. Anything higher and the stone will have a deeper yellowish to brown color. It is still a diamond, just not a clear diamond.

D … Diamond Engagement Ring

E … Engagement! The average first marriage engagement lasts 9-12 months and the average second marriage engagement lasts anywhere from three to six months.

F … Flowers! Most wedding ceremonies have many flowers as decorations. People use fresh, silk and dried flowers of all different colors and textures to create relaxing, romantic atmospheres for their wedding ceremonies. When it comes to choosing wedding flowers, the sky is truly the limit. You can spend as little as a few hundred to as much as thousands.

G … Guests. GUESTS. Guests can make a wedding the party that you want it to be. They give gifts and come to celebrate with you. They cost you the bulk of your wedding budget in food and alcohol and too often people decorate just to amuse the guests. Without guests, you really don’t have a wedding. It’s a catch-22. This article here talks about how to be a good guest, in a not-too-patronizing kind of way. This one here talks about what NOT to do, as a guest.

H … Honeymoon!!

I … Investment. Consider investing some of your wedding gifts so you can create a nest egg or just a small savings for household projects or future vacations.

J … Jewelery. In many cultures married people wear a wedding band as a sign that they are married. For many, this is as simple as a solid metal band made of gold, platinum, silver or titanium. Others prefer a fancier approach and their rings include diamonds and other stones. To see some modern day matching band sets, click here. And, to read about why should NOT take your ring off, ever really, but in public, click here. And read all the way to the bottom for ring cleaning instructions.

K … Kippot, or, yarmulke. In a Jewish wedding you will see the groom and all male guests wearing a head covering called a kippot.

L … Love. Don’t marry someone unless you really do love them. Marriage is not easy at times. Loving the person unconditionally will truly help in the tough times and make the good times even better.

M … Marriage. Wikipedia says marriage is an interpersonal relationship with government, social and religious recognition. Huh.

N … Nuptial. Nuptial is the adjective of Wedding. According to Wikipedia, it is used more in zoology to refer to mating season coupling, however, nuptials are also a marriage ceremony.

O … Outdoor weddings. Outside weddings are increasingly common and are a lot of fun. Usually reserved for the warm-weather months and more common in areas where the scenery is worth celebrating and can be incorporated as decoration in and of itself. Beach weddings, water-front weddings, boat-ride weddings, English-tea garden weddings are all very common wedding experiences.

P … Petals. Rose petals. Consider sprucing up your ceremony site by having rose petals line your aisle. It is a relatively inexpensive way to add some romantic detail to your ceremony site.

Q … Queen! At least you are for one day, so be sure to act like it! Remember that this is your wedding day. And you only get one. You have spent a lot of time planning and dreaming about this day, not to mention you have spent a lot of money on this day too. It is OKAY to be a little demanding and expect that people will put aside petty issues and just celebrate with you. Keep this in mind when dealing with annoying relatives and unruly vendors. You are paying the vendors to do a job for you and you have a right to expect that things be done according to plan and on time. From family members, you have a right to expect that they will put aside petty differences for a few hours for your sake. If they don’t, ask them to deal with these issues tomorrow because you would like the party to be a party.

R … Royal Doulton. Creators of china patterns and casual tableware.

S … Square Diamond.
Or, Princess Cut, as it is commonly referred to as is a very common style of engagement ring.

T … Tuxedo. Most men get married in a tuxedo. The most formal of men’s suits, tuxedos are easy and affordable to rent from a number of local and nationwide stores. Plan ahead and choose a tuxedo style and pattern about four months prior to your wedding so that all the groomsmen and fathers have time to get fitted and secure their rentals.

U … Unwind. Be sure to take some time prior to your wedding to spend some relaxing time with your family. It’s a special time and it will help you relax and focus on your big day ahead.

V … Vera Wang. Not only making dresses these days, Vera Wang has a line of household goods including china, silver and glassware.

W … Winnie Couture

X … X-tras! Be sure to keep an eye out for extras in your wedding planning. Ask all your vendors if they have seasonal specials or even reduced prices for holding your event at less popular times, like Sunday afternoons, Friday evenings and after a holiday weekend.

Y … Yolanda Couture.

Z … Zzzzz…… Sleep! Be sure to get some sleep the night before your wedding. It will help you keep going strong all day and make you feel better too. If you haven’t gotten much rest during your months spent wedding planning, be sure to plan a relaxing honeymoon where you can get plenty of rest. On a beach, in a hammock, on a boat, in the sun, in bed on a rainy afternoon …. many couples spend the first day or so of their honeymoon catching up on much needed rest.

According to a Chicago wedding website, cocktails are common to serve at wedding receptions. It is an extra nice thing to do for your guests. During the cocktail hour, consider have one special mixed drink passed, one drink per person. The drink can be a piece of your theme. If it is a mid-winter wedding, consider the Warm Kisses drink, a summer-night wedding, serve a Sultry Night.

Here are some drink ideas and the recipes.

Love Blooms
.75 oz. Cointreau
.75 oz. Chambord
Chilled champagne
Fill a chilled wineglass halfway with ice. Add Cointreau and Chambord. Fill with champagne and stir, then garnish with an edible flower petal or a candied swizzle stick.
Fun and Fab: Personalize wine or champagne glasses with wine charms telling a short story about how you fell in love or about your first date. Serve these tasty “blooms� on trays laden with fresh flowers.

Sultry Nights
1 oz. Southern Comfort
1 oz. coconut rum
1 oz. pineapple juice
1 oz. cranberry juice
Mix ingredients together and serve it “up� (shaken and poured into a martini glass) or “on the rocks� (over ice in a highball). Garnish with an orange peel and a miniature fan!
Fun and Fab: Serve these sultry concoctions on trays decorated with exotic, colorful silk and tulle fabrics with elaborate beading. To further set the mood, put your bar under a ceiling fan and decorate with a canopy.

A Spicy Pear of a Pair!
2 parts vodka
1 part pear liqueur
Shake and stir. Then, pour into a chilled martini glass and garnish with slices of pear or a swirled pear rind.
Fun and Fab: Add matching drink charms to every pair of glasses, and encourage guests to find their “matching drink charm� and “pair up� for a first dance.

Warm Kisses
.75 oz. Captain Morgan Spiced Rum
.5 oz. Godiva® dark chocolate liqueur
3.5 oz. espresso coffee
2.5 oz. steamed whipped milk
Add first three ingredients to a heated mug and stir. Add steamed whipped milk, then garnish with dark chocolate shavings, chocolate sprinkles or powdered cocoa.
Fun and Fab: Personalize your mugs with engagement photos, family photos, witty sayings, or anything else fun and creative. Serve these warm drinks on a bar laden with Hersheys® Kisses—and encourage your guests to take their mugs home!

If you are also going to serve wine with dinner, visit Wine Outlook for some important details about chosing the right wine for your food.

Just because you have a cocktail early in the evening doesn’t mean you don’t need wine later!

drinks and drink recipies are courtesy of Chicago Style Wedding.

Dear Stacy,
I’m planning my wedding for either February or March of 2008. I’m confused about the colors for my wedding. What colors are acceptable for these months? I’m thinking a dark red, but since it is almost spring would that color be too dark? Also what would be complementary colors? I really don’t want to go with a dark green because it’s too Christmas-y and I’m not crazy about pink or black. What do you think?

White calla lilies, orange tulips and bear grass.

This time of year definitely isn’t clear on what colors are you should have in your wedding. This means to me that you can choose just about anything and make it work.
I know this probably isn’t helping you make a choice, but, allow me to toss out some ideas.

February-March is largely considered late winter but oftentimes spring is just around the corner. People tend to live a little ahead of the seasons, at least the retail world does, right? If you like the idea of a spring-y wedding, then go with something in pastel shades. If you like the look of a wintery wedding with lots of soft blue lighting and candles, think — winter whites and ivory, that will most definitely work too.

Certain flowers always seem to mark this time of year, tulips and daffodils. Do you like yellow and white? You don’t have to use daffodils, but the color, naturally appearing in nature can easily be mimicked in the wedding. And tulips come in many shades too.

If you like deep red but aren’t sure what to pair it with, consider a cream colored flower and a shade of purple or blue, hydrangeas, lilies and irises.

It is possible to make any color combination work, it just takes some thought. If there is one color you definitely want, build around that. A florist can help direct you towards flowers that are available in your area and during that season.

Even an all red bouquet can work - it just needs to be broken up with a litte white or alternating shade of red.

The one last thing that can help when you are at a loss for what color to choose. Think theme. For example, some summer themes can be seen here, but other themes include winter wonderland, spring blossoms, disney themed, ethnic themes, movies, and hawaiian.

wedding, colours, colors, 2008, season, tulips, bear grass, calla