Wedding Tactics

For more details on this Cartier diamond band, click here.

Visit Art Carved Bridal for more rings like this.

I’ve just started hearing about a few engagements that took place around Valentine’s Day. If you are one of those people, a sincere congratulations to you!

One couple in particular is getting married at the end of the summer. A wedding, in exactly six months. I can hear the style guides and high-glam planners cringing with absolute fright. But I assure you, it is possible to have the wedding you want in six months or less. All it takes is some careful planning in the beginning and some diligent team work. By team work I am absolutely implying that if you have a mother or mother-in-law who wants to man the controls, by all means, this is the time they are needed. You really do need someone working on plans more than just on weekends.

Many vendors book up months and even years in advance so it may not be possible to have your choice of vendors. You do compromise some degree of choosiness but that doesn’t mean you have to give up on quality. Employ your friends and family to help you, you will need it for making phone calls and lining up vendors.

I have also written a detailed beauty checklist to follow leading up to your wedding. Many of these activities can be abbreviated when time is limited.

Here is an abbreviated to do list in you are planning to get married in less than six months:

Immediately:
Decide on your budget, color/theme, and make a thorough list of all the things you wish to incorporate into the wedding, include EVERYTHING, even things like newspaper announcement or embossed personalized napkins because for one it will help you decide what is really important to you, it will force you to prioritize and most importantly, delegate and ask for help. With this short of a time frame, you have to ask others, unless of course you don’t work and can spend forty plus hours a week planning your own wedding, in which case, you shouldn’t be reading my website.

Questions to ask yourself:
1. Will you hire a coordinator?
2. Will you have a separate ceremony/reception site, or will it be the same location?
3. Start looking for a gown, most likely, unless you buy off the rack or at a close-out sale, it will take a few months for the dress to be made and be shipped to you.
4. Create your guest list because this will determine what kind of venue size you need.
5. Register for gifts.

Vendors:
1. Book an officiant, NOW.
2. DJ or Band? You have a much better bet finding a DJ on shorter notice.
3. Caterer.
4. Florist.
5. Photographer.
6. Do them all now. Make phone calls and your first question needs to be: ARE YOU AVAILABLE ON MY WEDDING DATE? If they are, then talk specifics and decide if you want them.

Other important things to do:
1. Order invitations.
2. Book a honeymoon.
3. Select a cake.
4. Shop for rings.

Okay! Phew! That’s the short list of what you need to think about and do RIGHT NOW if you are getting married this summer and haven’t done anything yet.

And don’t stress too much, remember, weddings are happy times and should be FUN.

I’ve been writing for Wedding Tactics for a full year now. When I started maintaining this site I didn’t know what it would become and how long I’d be writing. In fact, at the time, 451 Press was still just getting off the ground. In fact, its been pretty amazing watching the network grow along with my site.

My first posting discussed the differences between a marriage and a wedding. The first few months following this entry I used the planning of my own wedding as a guide for what to write about.

A few times I mentioned the issues in gaining a new set of parents and specifically, the mother-in-law.

I wrote a lot about dresses and veils and accessories.
And for a few months I had featured columns on certain days of the week, Trends on Tuesday and Traditions Thursday. I used these headlines as a means to explain traditions like the tossing of the garter.

April was a very popular month on this site. My stats went thru the roof, but that was a very popular wedding time of year. I get asked frequently about the Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue thing. The meaning and its history are detailed here.

One of my all-time favorite posting was about what guests should wear to a wedding. I noticed during the Spring months that several clothing stores were featuring lines of dresses for wedding guests. This is a good guide to style options depending on the wedding venue.

I got married in May. Then, I started a new job in June and my postings got a bit less frequent for awhile. Meanwhile, I did profile some great summer wedding themes.

As the year went on I tried to focus on all the different issues surrounding weddings, including mens clothing, or, tuxedos and a few funny stories too, like this one about a guy who lost his wedding ring.

And, finally, the most recent repeating column, Wedding Tactics: On Location, features vendors and venues in random cities. By featuring actual wedding business providers across the nation, I hope that readers from all states will be attracted to read and follow along and also to ask questions and participate in the Wedding Tactics dialogue. The On-Location feature can be seen here, here and here. And also here.

Thanks to all the readers who made this a successful year for me and 451 Press. I look forward to another even better year here.

Happy New Year!

A … A-line skirt. Invented in the 1960s, it refers to a skirt that is slightly flared at the bottom, creating a very nice line for many body types.

B … Best Man: the term given to the head male assisting the groom in a wedding. In current times, a best man is generally responsible for planning a bachelor party, helping on the wedding day, holding the rings during the ceremony and providing friendly moral support to the groom and the couple.

C … Cut, Color, Carat, and Clarity The cour C’s of a diamond. Cut refers to the shape of the diamond, is it round, oval, pear shaped or emerald cut (rectangle). Color refers to the clearness of the diamond. Not all diamonds are alike. In fact, they are ranked on a scale of color from D to Z. But, for a ring, color usually only goes up to about a J. Anything higher and the stone will have a deeper yellowish to brown color. It is still a diamond, just not a clear diamond.

D … Diamond Engagement Ring

E … Engagement! The average first marriage engagement lasts 9-12 months and the average second marriage engagement lasts anywhere from three to six months.

F … Flowers! Most wedding ceremonies have many flowers as decorations. People use fresh, silk and dried flowers of all different colors and textures to create relaxing, romantic atmospheres for their wedding ceremonies. When it comes to choosing wedding flowers, the sky is truly the limit. You can spend as little as a few hundred to as much as thousands.

G … Guests. GUESTS. Guests can make a wedding the party that you want it to be. They give gifts and come to celebrate with you. They cost you the bulk of your wedding budget in food and alcohol and too often people decorate just to amuse the guests. Without guests, you really don’t have a wedding. It’s a catch-22. This article here talks about how to be a good guest, in a not-too-patronizing kind of way. This one here talks about what NOT to do, as a guest.

H … Honeymoon!!

I … Investment. Consider investing some of your wedding gifts so you can create a nest egg or just a small savings for household projects or future vacations.

J … Jewelery. In many cultures married people wear a wedding band as a sign that they are married. For many, this is as simple as a solid metal band made of gold, platinum, silver or titanium. Others prefer a fancier approach and their rings include diamonds and other stones. To see some modern day matching band sets, click here. And, to read about why should NOT take your ring off, ever really, but in public, click here. And read all the way to the bottom for ring cleaning instructions.

K … Kippot, or, yarmulke. In a Jewish wedding you will see the groom and all male guests wearing a head covering called a kippot.

L … Love. Don’t marry someone unless you really do love them. Marriage is not easy at times. Loving the person unconditionally will truly help in the tough times and make the good times even better.

M … Marriage. Wikipedia says marriage is an interpersonal relationship with government, social and religious recognition. Huh.

N … Nuptial. Nuptial is the adjective of Wedding. According to Wikipedia, it is used more in zoology to refer to mating season coupling, however, nuptials are also a marriage ceremony.

O … Outdoor weddings. Outside weddings are increasingly common and are a lot of fun. Usually reserved for the warm-weather months and more common in areas where the scenery is worth celebrating and can be incorporated as decoration in and of itself. Beach weddings, water-front weddings, boat-ride weddings, English-tea garden weddings are all very common wedding experiences.

P … Petals. Rose petals. Consider sprucing up your ceremony site by having rose petals line your aisle. It is a relatively inexpensive way to add some romantic detail to your ceremony site.

Q … Queen! At least you are for one day, so be sure to act like it! Remember that this is your wedding day. And you only get one. You have spent a lot of time planning and dreaming about this day, not to mention you have spent a lot of money on this day too. It is OKAY to be a little demanding and expect that people will put aside petty issues and just celebrate with you. Keep this in mind when dealing with annoying relatives and unruly vendors. You are paying the vendors to do a job for you and you have a right to expect that things be done according to plan and on time. From family members, you have a right to expect that they will put aside petty differences for a few hours for your sake. If they don’t, ask them to deal with these issues tomorrow because you would like the party to be a party.

R … Royal Doulton. Creators of china patterns and casual tableware.

S … Square Diamond.
Or, Princess Cut, as it is commonly referred to as is a very common style of engagement ring.

T … Tuxedo. Most men get married in a tuxedo. The most formal of men’s suits, tuxedos are easy and affordable to rent from a number of local and nationwide stores. Plan ahead and choose a tuxedo style and pattern about four months prior to your wedding so that all the groomsmen and fathers have time to get fitted and secure their rentals.

U … Unwind. Be sure to take some time prior to your wedding to spend some relaxing time with your family. It’s a special time and it will help you relax and focus on your big day ahead.

V … Vera Wang. Not only making dresses these days, Vera Wang has a line of household goods including china, silver and glassware.

W … Winnie Couture

X … X-tras! Be sure to keep an eye out for extras in your wedding planning. Ask all your vendors if they have seasonal specials or even reduced prices for holding your event at less popular times, like Sunday afternoons, Friday evenings and after a holiday weekend.

Y … Yolanda Couture.

Z … Zzzzz…… Sleep! Be sure to get some sleep the night before your wedding. It will help you keep going strong all day and make you feel better too. If you haven’t gotten much rest during your months spent wedding planning, be sure to plan a relaxing honeymoon where you can get plenty of rest. On a beach, in a hammock, on a boat, in the sun, in bed on a rainy afternoon …. many couples spend the first day or so of their honeymoon catching up on much needed rest.

I was just sitting at my desk cursing myself and feeling guilty for neglecting ya’ll and I decided to procrastinate just a few more minutes by reading CNN.com.

I came across a story about a man who took off his ring to wash his hands in the sink of a port-o-potty and dropped his ring into the actual toilet of the port-o-potty. Oh my lord almighty how thoroughly gross!

And, Boom! I have an entry. I will not just link you to this story but I will actually discuss the washing of your hands when wearing several thousand dollars on your finger.

It seems that most newly engaged brides-to-be are neurotic about removing their ring before a shower or sleeping. This quickly fades. In fact, when my last friend got engaged last fall, two of us took bets to see how long it would take her to stop taking her ring off for everything. It was about three months.

In fact, the truth is, I am sometimes very worried that I will bang my ring or bend the prongs or get it dirty when I’m cooking, but the reality is that the ring is much safer on my finger than just about anywhere else. Diamonds, gold and platinum are very sturdy metals that don’t damage easily.

That said, get your ring insured. Like, before you walk another step! It is very cheap. And easy. If you don’t have a homeowners policy to add it to, do you have a renter’s policy? A car policy? Anyone will insure your ring, just call a reputable insurance company and they will tell you how easy it is to do. I think I pay an extra $100 each year on my homeowners insurance to have my ring, engagement and wedding band and my husband’s wedding band insured for the largest amount for which it was appraised.

If you do insist on removing your ring for gardening (not a bad idea) and house-keeping, have one specific safe place, like a drawer or box inside of your jewelry box or a certain dresser drawer where you keep it. This way, you know that if your ring isn’t on your finger it is most certainly in its special place. Also, taking it off and leaving it in a dish can scratch it just as much as wearing it, a soft felt box is really the best place, next to you finger.

Keeping Your Ring Clean:

Rings get icky pretty fast. They collect spots from water and soap and lotions, not to mention food and just about anything else you touch. There are many secret ring cleaning remedies out there, including liquid dish soap which does cut grease very well. However, if you are concerned talk to a jeweler about what they recommend. A jewelry store can clean your ring professionally and it is good to take it in about once a year to get it sized, cleaned and to have the prongs checked for tightness and integrity. Jewelry stores and Target sell little bottles of liquid jewelry cleaner. They come with a little brush and this works wonders for polishing your ring for a special occasion or just to admire it yourself.

I have the pink bottle and it works great and doesn’t cost much at all.

His and Hers, matching set.

Click here for ring info.

Hers.

Click here for ring info.

Gold eternity band.

Click here for ring info.

If you are nearing the exciting almost-two-digit countdown, there are some very important and not too hard things to be considering and scheduling.

Unfortunately, so many of the planning and wedding shopping falls on the woman. But, guys! You can help out. Offer to make phone calls and go to meetings with vendors, take notes, and help keep a budget spreadsheet and just be supportive and offer your input. Chances are your bride-to-be does want you opinion and wants to be sure you are going to be happy with the wedding day.

At about ONE HUNDRED days from your wedding you should be deciding on what jewelry you will wear, identifying and buying shoes. Plan a few hours when you can wear the shoes indoors to break them in and make sure they don’t rub your feet the wrong way. If they do, you’ll know where to put the protective band-aid on the big day.

You should also be looking for a hair and make-up professional if you are going to have it done. Many stylists will come to you on your wedding day. If you don’t know where to start looking for stylists ask friends and coworkers if they know of someone who does that work or someone who recently got married. Ask your hairdresser or nail technician, ask at dress shops and ask other wedding vendors. I have several fabulous vendors and I was very careful to introduce them to each other because wedding vendors have an incredible network. You can also look on the bulletin boards of wedding websites, such as TheKnot.com.

At this point you and your fiancée should have agreed on a honeymoon locale and be in the process of booking and making reservations. It is usually recommended to do this about five to seven months prior to the wedding, but the time of year and season will greatly impact the rates that are available and how far in advance you should make plans.

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