Wedding Tactics

I have been married for just over one month. Actually, tomorrow will be one month and one week. To be honest, my wedding feels like a very faint memory.

I am still extremely excited that my wedding turned out to be so pretty, so simple and so much fun. I don’t really remember what my centerpieces looked like or what anyone wore. I know I had a DJ who was amazing and a staff of vendors who made my needs their ultimate goal.

Aside from the fact that I had a good location, a good couple of vendors and some good weather, all of which are subject to chance, I was not stressed or worried on wedding day at all. I probably wrote about it in advance too; my goal was to stress before the wedding, therefore there wouldn’t be anything left to worry about on the day of the event.
This is just another example of where my obsessive personality came through for me.

I suppose that I would have a larger problem with life if I walked around now saying, “My wedding was great, the centerpieces were so gorgeous!” when in fact, all I keep thinking is that “My wedding was great! I had more fun than I ever could have imagined! I danced, I ate my entire dinner, I talked to all of my relatives and smiled all night long, I could not have imagined a better night.”

If you want to recall your wedding more like I did, plan well and in advance, be flexible for weather mishaps or things you cannot control, like, older guests leaving too early. Choose one or two things that are main goals for the day, such as, getting married and enjoying myself, or getting married and dancing with my Dad. Whatever matters most to you - make that the only thing that matters for the day and you won’t be disappointed.

wedding mishaps, ignoring what can go wrong, preparing for your wedding, how to have a great wedding

Nobody wants to hear or think “Ooops!” on their wedding day, but of course, things happen.

Bad weather. Vendors get stuck in traffic; mix up an order, or worse. Relatives show up late for pictures or an older Aunt is far less mobile than before and she needs assistance getting around the wedding site.

If you think ahead about a few of these issues you can head off the “Ooops” before it happens.

If your wedding is small and you know all your guests this is simple enough to do on your own, if your wedding is over one hundred guests, employee a family member or close friend who knows the guest list to help you consider some of the following.

1. If you have older Grandparents, are they able to walk around and be in the spot you want them to for pictures? If not, choose an alternate site to have pictures with them. Consider allowing them to sit down in the reception area during the cocktail hour so that they can enjoy the party but not have to stand for too long.

2. Supply a bridesmaid or groomsman or relative with a list of the vendors and their contact information in case the cake is late or the DJ isn’t on time, you’ll have someone looking out for these things before the moment the party begins and they can make necessary calls while you are getting ready or having pictures done and it won’t hinder the flow of the main event.

3. Weather. Everyone tells you it is good luck to have rain on your wedding day. Luckily, I did not get to test this theory; however, it is always good to have a back-up plan if your event is outside, or even for parking and walking to the site. Well in advance of the wedding, speak with the events and banquet coordinator at your venue and ask about alternatives for bad weather. Find out when they have to make a decision, for example, if a temporary rain shower moves through the area a few hours before the outdoor ceremony, the arch or chuppah or chairs and decorations will get wet, and most likely, if this is the time of set-up, they won’t be able to set up outdoors. Ask about the options and know what they are. Then - don’t even think twice about it. Because? When it comes to the day of your wedding and you are within hours of walking down the aisle, you can’t worry about those details and hopefully, you are resolved to the notion that the only thing that matters is that you are able to get married. Rule of thumb: Have back-up plans but then don’t fret over them.

Hopefully you won’t have any “Oops” moments on your special day, but if you do, go with the flow. Many times, guests who don’t know what was “supposed to” happen won’t notice the difference and just stay focused on having fun because this is YOUR day.

wedding planning, “oops”, wedding mishaps, bad wedding vendors, planning for problems, how to help older guests, bad weather options

Some things about my wedding really surprised me and some things went exactly as I had planned.

I knew what the schedule was for the day and what to expect at certain moments and I knew that at precisely 5:00pm, my coordinator would come get me out of seclusion with my Dad and walk us to the point where I would walk down the aisle.

This happened. I don’t exactly remember anything I was thinking or anything we said to each other, but I know we walked out of the room, someone was holding the back of my dress and it was warm and sunny.

I heard my processional music start playing and it was very different from listening to it on my iPod. But, it meant one thing. Time to walk down the aisle.

I saw my guests, my friends, family and Marc, at the end of the aisle. I know now that I walked too fast - so, note to future brides: WALK SLOWLY. You only do that ONE time.

Then, before I knew it, we were in the midst of our ceremony, rings, wine, more wine, readings, and lots of things in Hebrew that I didn’t understand. Some sweating, mostly of the boob and ass nature. Broken glass, kiss, and DONE! Married! We turned around. The music started. We walked back down the aisle and that was it. Marc and I were married.

No one ever tells you that you will not actually see or really be there at your ceremony. You ARE the ceremony.

Had I known this? I wouldn’t have worried so much about where people were sitting and what they were doing. Also, I sort of missed not seeing it. Luckily, we had a friend who videotaped the ceremony for us. Otherwise, I’d never see it. If you don’t opt for a videographer (because, $$$) consider having someone who know film the ceremony, just so that you can watch it at a later time. You’ll never regret it!

I have spent years being a massive control freak and not allowing others to help me.

Somehow on the morning of May 20th I was as calm and cool as the salami in the refrigerator. I woke up earlier than I had originally planned and my first thought was that I wished my rehearsal dinner had gone longer because I didn’t get to talk to everyone. Then I remembered that holyshitohmygod, today is my wedding day today is all about me and this is my day and ohmygod I’m getting married in eight hours.

In a more perfect world I would have slept until about 10:30 in the morning, had a leisurely breakfast while watching television, my choice of TiVo’d shows, of course, followed by a shower and then a seat in the hair-makeup chair at 12:30 and a quick slipping into my dress at 2pm for my initial photo shoot with Marc at 2:30.

It didn’t go that way.

My two friends were to arrive at 9:15 for their hair styling, followed by my sister in law at 11am and my mother in law at noon. I would be last, as I was, most important and needed to be the “freshest�.

I woke up at 8am.

I had breakfast. Toast, orange juice and a scrambled egg. I had nothing to read and the house with my in-laws and sister-in-law-type (they aren’t married, but I like her) had an eerie buzzing of energy, sort of like the humming of a mosquito near your ear, but it was also mostly relaxed.

My friends showed up on time.

My hair stylist arrived promptly at 9:20am to begin a style at 9:30am.

I had nothing to do but wait.

And be nervously nauseated.

I took a nap. And then waited some more. The waiting was the hard part, can ‘ya tell?

Finally, I took a shower and made my way to the hair and make-up chair. Before I knew it I was putting on my third coating of deodorant, slipping into my dress, holding my bouquet and hugging my parents while I waited to see Marc for the fist time.

The point of this long assvicey entry is that your wedding day is YOUR wedding day. You have to make it what you want it to be, and you can. You don’t have to have a wedding like your friend or like you think your Mom wants to see. Let me explain, if you need calm and quiet, demand that. Be sure to surround yourself with people who will support you in the way you need at that time. If you function better with seven bridesmaids and two mothers bouncing around the room, by all means, invite them ALL in. Make the day, especially the time before the ball really starts rolling, what you need it to be. It’s okay to be a little demanding, most likely people will just think you know what you want.

The day is yours and it will be as great as you make it.

And remember, this? Happens very fast. Try to remember as much as possible.

And also breathe.

My wedding is over.

I have been married for eleven days.

I have honeymooned and returned to the eye-ticking, irritating pace of having to go back to work tomorrow.

My wedding was very totally awesome! All my planning was well worthwhile. I had more fun that I ever expected to have. I ate my entire dinner. I danced a hell of a lot! There were kisses and hugs and dancing and the cake was so damn good - and you know so many times wedding cakes just taste like cardboard.

I am full of positive experiences and lessons learned and assvice from an amateur-turned-pro. No seriously. I’m not going to write about how I have had a wedding therefore I KNOW weddings. I am going to spend the next few weeks writing about my wedding, my planning experiences, my lessons learned, with the hope that it helps someone else. I will tell stories and post pictures and share my emotions of the day, the days before the wedding and the honeymoon - from planning it to what to expect and how much time to allow between international connections on American Airlines when traveling through Miami Airport. GOD.

Before my wedding I used certain days of the week to write certain topics and I wasn’t so thrilled with that. I’ve been feeling too confined and there were times when I wasn’t able to write what I wanted because I couldn’t make it work with a Trend or Tradition or Question-Answer.

I will leave you now with some pictures. If you are getting married before I am able to post of all of my lessons learned, most of all … have fun. I cannot emphasize this enough. And I know you are rolling your eyes at me because! Of course you will have fun at your wedding. In the hours leading up to your wedding, there is not much you can do. The flowers will or will not show up. The cake will or will not be delivered. Most likely, your guests are in town and are getting dressed for the event or taking a much needed nap. I suppose this all works well with careful pre-wedding planning.

I will also talk a lot about what people told me, especially the bold-lettered articles in all the seventeen pound magazines that consist of five hundred pages of advertisements and three articles that say: Make your wedding reflect your personal style and taste. What if you don’t know your personal style? I thought I did, but as time went on I learned a lot more about myself. I will share the details of what worked for me. Scheduling, vendor relationships, travel, timetables, family issues, ohmyholyhell, the family issues!

I am thrilled to be married. I really am. Marc and I spent at least three days calling each other “wife” and “husband”. We were giddy with what we had just done. We still are. Each day still feels sort of new. We have lived together for two years, owned a house together for six months, gotten pregnant a month before the wedding, but, this does feel new. There is a higher level of commitment and authority and respect and a whole new awesome sense of belonging to each other, our new family, and our old respective families. Speaking of the “new” … I will make sure I spend an entire entry on the issue of name changing. I am totally in the middle of changing my name right now. My new social security card is in the mail. My bank knows me as Stacy Kravitz. But, I can still deposit checks made out to Stacy Ochsman. WTF?

Oh! My ceremony. Amazing. Beautiful.

Surprises? Nothing bad I can think of.

Good? One of our best friends made a video of our entire ceremony and reception. We haven’t seen it yet, but we had no idea he was going to do this.

I have many details to share and hopefully, many readers to re-lure.

Pictures? Anyone…?

And finally … some of the fun,

I just received one of my last symbolic I-am-a-bride-to-be items. In today’s mail? The June/July 2007 issue of Modern Bride. I don’t quite know if I will miss it. Although, I assume I they will keep coming to me, but then I’ll use them for research and your entertainment.

In reading through this issue I marked a few pages with interesting ideas that I will visit here over the next few weeks.

One thing that caught my eye was a question posed to all readers in the last issue and answered in this issue with many different ideas. Like most readers, I suppose I can understand both sides of the argument, but, I’m more fascinated by what it says about brides.

Modern Bride posed the following readers: I requested two things of my bridesmaids; that they wear their hair up and get a French manicure. A few seem annoyed. Am I being too controlling?

I now invoke the my blog, my opinion rule and tell you that I think this is asking a bit much. However, all brides and weddings are as individual as the guests attending. My overly explained opinion is this; a bride has a right to has her bridesmaids to do anything specific of her choosing, but her bridesmaids also have the option of chosing NOT to cooperate and then, above said bride, should understand that her demands prohibited her friend from being a part of her wedding.

Brides across the world are known for occasionally being overbearing bitches who care way too much about the decorations and the manicures. I have always written from the standpoint that it matter more what you say and do in your ceremony than what you dance to at the concluding party. I say this because the GOAL of the day is that a marriage, hopefully healthy and longlasting one is formed. I will admit that there are times in the midst of planning a wedding where you lose sight of the goals ahead. Dealing with vendors and parents and family issues can be ridiculously trying and stressful. However, my final point, while a bride certainly has a right to make demands for her wedding, she must, must do so knowing the potential consequences that may arise.

Just as you think you have a good handle on everything, time will pass faster than you think and before you know it, you are forgetting to make phone calls and post to your blog!

I am getting married in 17 days.

Eeek!

I made my final vendor phone call today to arrange for one more damn meeting when I get into Sarasota in two weeks. It is going to be a seriously busy time for me.

One of the most crucial things you can do to make your wedding day run more smoothly is to have a schedule or what those in the industry call, an Event Flow.

I am working on mine right now.

I have wedding brain.

But, I no longer care or even remember what my centerpieces are going to look like.

On Monday night I sat up late working on some postings for this week, including a Trends on Tuesday post. Alas! I was so tired and consumed with everything else in the world that I mistyped the date to schedule my posting. Seriously folks, I do apologize.

However, this is now Wednesday and Trends on cross my mind on Tuesdays … so you’ll have a bang up Trends entry next week. Okay?

I spent a lot of time this weekend thinking about what I needed to post about in the coming days and weeks. As we get closer, and I do mean, seriously closer! Like, Holy Hell! I’m getting married in twenty-four days! I’ve spent some time reflecting back over the planning process and I have identified areas and times when I wish I had been stronger and more assertive and many times when I shouldn’t haven’t cared at all because, things really do work out in time.

It wasn’t until last weekend when we met with our Rabbi to discuss the procession of our wedding party and the ceremony. We talked about what traditions we wanted to honor and what we wanted recognized and said. It was the most calm I had been in all nine months of planning. I finally felt free to really not care, not just say I didn’t care about what the flowers looked like. The only thing that matters at the end of May 20th is that I get to marry Marc. I honestly don’t care if the tables are ugly or the food is served cold. It matters not to me. If I have guests to whom it does matter, I don’t want to be friends with them. You don’t go to a wedding to give a wedding, for that matter, to impress other people. Save your money! Buy a home!

But seriously, I felt very good to get to this point. All I really have left to do is choose a photo package, which means choosing between spending $2700 and $3500. Eeek! But, do I want 300 or 400 proof shots? Do I NEED 400? Do I need five 5×7 shots or just one 11×14? Ahhh! Decisions! However there really isn’t a “wrong” one.

I still have to write out the timeline for the day of the wedding so that I can stop telling everyone exactly where they need to be and why they need to be at the damn house, dressed at 2:30 in the afternoon.

Somehow I know it will all come together.

Somehow I know it will all work.

Somehow, it doesn’t matter too much, just take pictures, marry me, and eat cake!

It is very common for an engaged couple to seek counseling prior to their marriage. Some states are now requiring several hours of a premarital class or clergy-guided counseling in order to be granted a marriage license.

You know something? It’s probably not a bad idea.

Traditionally, when clergy, a Rabbi, Priest, Minister, etc … marry you, you spend some time with them prior to the wedding to just talk things over. They may ask you about your future career and family plans and just listen and watch you interact as a couple. Also, the person marrying you often likes to get a feel for the union they are about to be blessing. One of the major duties of all clergy members is to provide emotional and spiritual support to their congregants. Since marriage is a monumental life change usually occurring in a religious setting, or conducted by a religious leader, it is very fitting that couples seek some sort of counseling prior to the wedding day.

If you are not marrying in a state that requires this premarital counseling or, if you opt not to participate, you can take this handy little test and let your partner grade it. This is mostly for fun and entertainment – a ‘la Mad Libs. But! There is some very useful insights to be gained by taking this little test.

Each of these books is about $5.95 and available on Amazon.com and in most large book stores.

While counseling isn’t a major tradition, perhaps it should be. What do you think? Unfortunately, many marriages end in divorce, if we made counseling more of a “tradition” … perhaps it could save a few marriages and keep a few families together.

A good friend recently told me a story that the Rabbi who married her told them.

The Rabbi said, You don’t really know your spouse until after you are married. You may have lived together, may have known them for years, but you don’t actually KNOW them until after you are married.

I’m not sure I agree with the statement, but others have vouched for its validity.

Several loyal readers have asked me write about the emotional side of getting married. I have only touched on this issue a few times and not for lack of content but rather for sheer and utter amazement that ohmygod! I’m getting married and I am no longer a single person making decisions only for myself and HOLYSHIT!? i have to share my bathroom too!? and my bed?! forever!? And, what? a joint account? I prefer the word joint to usually not be followed by anything except a few minutes of intense calm.

It is my experience that men and women adapt to these life-altering social changes in very different ways that are rather gender-specific. Without launching into my soap-box-like pontification of how the genders relate to each other in marriage and relationships, I will just say that for the most part, women feel they are giving up some independence, gaining some financial security, and someone else’s laundry to wash, while men tend to be far more concerned with being able to provide, having enough money, and having enough time for sports.

If you notice, in this entry, there is no mention of sex or intimacy within the marriage, as it is well known, that once you are married, those concepts are mutually exclusive and cannot in a world where George Bush was elected president for eight years, coexist.

Over the past few months, as the wedding date has gotten closer and closer, and today, it is 32 days from now, Marc and I have gone through some wonderful periods of happiness and togetherness and also some seriously angry screaming matches about how much money was spent on a turkey sandwich at lunch. Eventually, all the kinks do get worked out.

The most important thing to remember is that all of the ups and downs are very normal. A marriage is a relationship between two people who need to remain independent, but also they must sacrifice a part of their selfishness in order to be conscious of another person living so closely to them. Each couple works this out differently. Some have date nights with just the two of them, some have standing plans to see other friends several times a week and some maintain separate bank accounts, but whatever the level of shared property and time, the couple must learn to coexist peacefully and cooperatively, without losing themselves completely.

Above all else, a healthy marriage is based on cooperation, consideration, kindness, respect, and love. No one expects perfection all of the time, but keep talking, and keep listening to each other, and … in my humble opinion, try to sit down to dinner together, as a family at least a few times a week. These planned together times really can help. If there is any one thing you can do to make your partner know that you care, listen. Be a good listener. If you aren’t now, learn how to do it. If your partner feels “heard” it will make a big difference.

And, an occasional beer never hurts!

One month, one week and two days.

One month, nine days.

Thirty-eight days.

No matter how you say it? It’s all the same really.

There is good news and bad news at this point. I went onto TheKnot.com and printed my To-Do list. It is ONLY two pages! Whoo Hooo! That is the good news.

The bad news? I have a two-page To-Do list!

I went through my binder last night to weed out the unnecessary information. I no longer need any paperwork about my invitations because they have been sent and all but four people replied. Those four people who never sent the reply card back? I put a curse on you! May your socks fall down into your shoes and my you have a massive front-of-your-head cowlick for a whole year.

So, as I was toss all these great pictures I had printed for “ideas” into the circular filing bin, I was sad that I no longer needed ideas but was quickly, very quickly reminded that I don’t need “ideas” because I have already made a million and one decisions and I only need to keep the ONE picture of my hair style, and ONE picture of my dress. I don’t need seven sheet covers back-to-back of potential bouquets because I have already chosen mine. And it will be … fine.

Prior to this wedding planning experience I was not a good decision maker. I mean, I chose to buy a house with Marc and I am certain of my decision to marry him, but the little ones, like, should the dining room table have placemats or a tablecloth would drive me totally insane. It’s the OCD tendency to doubt oneself. I am not usually committed to certain outfits or to hairstyles and sometimes I even wonder if my engagement ring looks better on my right hand?

This process has forced me to make choices and live with them. I definitely want a nice wedding, but a five thousand dollar floral bill does not a nice wedding make. What makes the occasion special is the feeling, the company, the guests, what you say and how you say it. It matters so much more what I saw in my vows than what I spend on the centerpieces.

My mother-in-law saw a wedding in my venue a few months ago and reported to me that they had big tall centerpieces with arrangements of calla-lilies. I knew that callas would be way beyond what I wanted to spend. I knew that I didn’t care what people thought about the room, or what they thought about me based on their guess of what I spent to entertain them. A wedding is not about entertaining your guests or impressing your guests.

STEPPING OFF MY SOAP BOX NOW …

… …

…

Sometimes I need to write things like this to remind myself that $700 on cake is outrageous but at this point, I just need to accept it. And hope for the biggest damn piece they cut!

There is one huge area of wedding planning that I have neglected to mention, mainly because it is personal, complex and I never had a strong lead sentence with which to begin.

Marc and I sat down last night and went over our newly created Excel spreadsheet household budget. We bought a house last November and made one of our accounts joint. We both put money into it each month. Combining finances was huge. I felt more married and tied to him at that time than I think I will after a glass has been crushed and the crowd yells mazel tov at the end of the champagne toast.

For about a month after we combined accounts I didn’t know what money was technically “mine”. I had never thought of finances as “shared”. Like many other women my age, I’m in my late twenties and have worked for about 10 years, including my part-time jobs in college and I always had my own accounts and credit cards. I chose what I spent on what and when and if anyone questioned me I told them to get bent because it was my damn money. Lo, you cannot do that in a marriage. It is really crucial to understand each other’s spending and shopping habits before you combine finances or you will find yourself in many a difficult situation. For example, Marc likes to eat lunch out a lot and I like to buy a lot of books from Amazon.com.

Many times I have approached him and said something like Why did you go spend ten dollars on a damn sandwich? And when the credit card is on the higher side one month, he wonders why I needed to buy books. The end result is that these expenses are trivial and each couple must decide how much each person can spend on these little items, AFTER the mortgage and bills are paid. Some couples I know choose a dollar limit, like $100 - and if one partner plans to spend over that amount, they need to inform, not ask permission, but rather discuss with their partner the impending expense.

I highly suggest creating a budget in a spreadsheet. It is very easy to work with and change numbers around and make projections so that you know what money is available and when. You can also obtain a budget worksheet from any financial planner or financial broker. There are also some great books to work with if you are an independent type when it comes to finances. One book in particular that I recommend is Bonnie’s Household Budget Book.

Ultimately I am very thankful that we combined most of our finances before the wedding. (Which btw, is 47 days from today, ‘ya know, if you are keeping track) It really helped us get past the initial shock of not being as independent as we once were. Perhaps if I was younger and hadn’t really supported myself before I wouldn’t have had such a hard time adjusting to the loss of independence. It took me a few months to see that I gained financial security which helped me deal with the loss of control. Each couple has different issues, but all in all, you have to have a concept of what to expect from each other and from yourself.

I have gotten very comfortable with our new arrangement and I feel like that will allow us to really enjoy our first month of marriage because we will have already created working systems for our home. I can’t imagine how disappointed I might be if our first month of being married was wrought with the conflict through which we have already worked.

Other women have reported to me that the combining of assets is a huge issue at first. Many of us have worked for years and making a change from individual to team isn’t an easy step. I encourage men to be understand and comforting during this adjustment period, and also to be very forthcoming on all monetary issues. When both partners know what their financial capabilities are, they are more likely to take equal responsibility, thus, preventing an unhealthy situation.

I’m getting married in 52 days.

And, yes, I’m totally excited and YES! totally stressed.

What about? You ask.

Everything. I’m worried about leaving my pets with a pet-sitter for two and a half weeks. I can’t decide between having my mail held and having my pet-sitter/house-sitter pick up my mail. I am concerned that I will forget to bring my garter (which is SO cool by the way, of course, pictures AFTER the wedding) with me to Florida. Just this past weekend someone started talking about the rain/inclimate weather alternatives … and after I stopped hyperventilating and sweating I calmly retorted, “Fine. I agree. Have a plan. Don’t tell me what it is or anything about it. If you have to move things because of rain, that’s fine. I don’t want to know until the day of the wedding, because then I won’t care, I’ll just want to be married.”

The being calm? Felt great.
The not caring? Even more great.

It’s a real toss up between freaking-out and not caring but I figure it will all work out in the end.

After the flowers have been chosen and the food options tasted, the dress altered and the tuxedo rentals secured, the plane tickets purchased and the hotel blocks reserved, the ketubah waiting for me in Sarasota and the kippots ordered there is a definite release of stress as you cross these items off of your MUST-DO list. However, you might remember that you still haven’t had a second meeting with the Rabbi, and you still need to arrange for your parents flights to the wedding destination and you want to lose five more pounds and avoid a stress-related break-out, you start to feel that rapid-heartbeat Oh-Shit feeling returning to your every waking step.

Getting married is a huge, life-changing event. Even if you have lived with your partner, there are new levels of shared property and space. At this point, I am really excited. I do waiver between being stressed and being blasé about the details. I think that is normal.

Slowly you become closer to your partner. Slowly the families accept your wedding choices. As the entire event starts to come together, you might even find yourself sitting back and smiling. At least until a distant relative who calls you and wants to know if they can bring their children and babies to the wedding and if the food is kosher and the fish wild-caught.

See? I can still laugh and drive at the same time. In fact, I was on the way to my hair and make-up trial when this was taken. And, I had just saved $500 on my florals. Total score!

wedding stress, bride, ketubah, kippot, pet-sitter, wedding, wedding tactics

STACY CLASPS HANDS TO CHEEKS, ALL HOME-ALONE-ISH, AND SCREAMS SLACKJAWWED AND THEN PASSES OUT INTO NEARBY CHAIR

If you are getting married in the next three months, chances are you have had similar moments. If you haven’t, well, don’t tell me, please, and also, you are letting someone else do way too much for your wedding. You should be squirming and stressing and having a great time.

On Friday I sort of freaked out and came home early from work, took a nap and made a dinner of fish sticks. Blech! I have no idea what happened to broiled salmon and salad.

I slept off my stress and went to bed until 10:30 Saturday morning. I spent part of Saturday fighting with Marc over, surprise! money! the wedding! cleaning and chores he had not done. I felt better after I worked out for an hour this morning.

In the midst of our arguments I told Marc that we had a lot of decisions to make and choices to choose. He shot down my first dance song suggestion of “Can’t help falling in love with you” by Elvis Presley. I secretly think he is against the song because he is weirded out by Elvis. Whatever. So I told him to come up with FIVE songs by Sunday night and we’d talk.

Fast Forward to NOW (Sunday night, 10:30pm):

ME: Did you come up with any first dance songs?

MARC: SHAKES HEAD. No, I didn’t.

ME: LIVE BLOGS THE SAGA AND USES CAPS LOCKS FOR EMPHASIS OF HOW MEN? AND WEDDINGS? DO NOT MIX.

Days 61 - 57
1. Decide on first-dance song
2. Meet with Florist and make final choices for bouquet, ceremony and centerpieces
3. Have first and major dress fitting, (hopefully lose 5 pounds by then too, just because that would be super cool)
4. Have my hair and make-up trial
5. Make some final budget calculations
6. Breathe
7. Stay calm and collected and continue to wish the BIG DAY here quickly and inexpensively

And don’t let the cat eat your centerpiece.

migraine, wedding, first dance song, elvis, wedding budget, florida

If you have been invited to someones wedding, please do not consider it an eye for an eye, an invite for an invite, simply because you invited them to your affair, doesn’t mean they have to invite you. However, they chose to invite you. They like your company, want to include you and want to celebrate their happiness with you. Keep in mind that you are unaware of their budget constraints, venue size constraints and planning issues in general. Just because someone you know is having a wedding out of town and they sent out their invitations REALLY early doesn’t give you permission to ignore the reply date and reply whenever you feel like it. Chances are, the engaged couple has lots of decisions to make and products and supplies to order for the wedding and we need a final count. Once it is two weeks after the deadline, we will assume you are not coming.

Thank you for allowing me the rant.

Now? Here are some pretty Spring time wedding bouquets.