Wedding Tactics

If you have already chosen a date for your wedding you know firsthand what a delicate little woven web it is to avoid offending people, trying to make people happy and manage to get married before the end of the decade. For all you recently engaged couples who are still “thinking it over” and “not yet settled on a date” … here are some tips, pitfalls to look out for and general complaints you can expect to hear.

The wedding over a holiday weekend debate meant that travel would be more expensive but people wouldn’t necessarily have to take as much time off from work. I thought I would feel guilty for taking someone’s intensely coveted three-day weekend. Although, in hindsight, I didn’t think much about it once the date was chosen and the invitations were in the mail. What seems huge today will be a faint memory tomorrow.

I got engaged in July, and I always knew I wanted a Fall wedding. That meant that we either had a wedding in December (yes, I know, not so much autumn anymore and also soon) … or we waited a year and a half.

I was not going to wait a year and a half.

Marc also said NO to December for that whole too soon reason. Men! If you can train for a marathon in four months; you can plan a wedding in four months.

When we finally decided where we wanted to get married, we just looked at the dates they had available and the openings began in early May. I did not want to get married on Mother’s Day or Memorial Day. May 20th was the earliest that our venue was available, so, that’s how we decided on our date.

I had friends beg me not to get married in December because they had another wedding to attend the week before, also in Florida and that would have been a lot of traveling for them.

My brother-in-law-to-be also asked me to move my wedding date, after I had put down a deposit, because his girlfriend’s sister was getting married the weekend before, and that’s just a lot of wedding-time for them. Sorry guys, you’ll get over it.

So much for my Fall wedding, or my December wedding.

We chose our date based on what was available at our venue. This was really just the beginning of the flexibility I would need to extend for wedding planning.

A little over a year ago I wrote this post and it really sums up why it is important to get your plans locked in place and then just enjoy yourself. I really need to spend today with my son, relaxing and recovering from a long weekend of my in-laws visiting. I hope this post finds you well.

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED: March 28. 2007

I’m getting married in 52 days.

And, yes, I’m totally excited and YES! totally stressed.

What about? You ask.

Everything. I’m worried about leaving my pets with a pet-sitter for two and a half weeks. I can’t decide between having my mail held and having my pet-sitter/house-sitter pick up my mail. I am concerned that I will forget to bring my garter (which is SO cool by the way, of course, pictures AFTER the wedding) with me to Florida. Just this past weekend someone started talking about the rain/inclimate weather alternatives … and after I stopped hyperventilating and sweating I calmly retorted, “Fine. I agree. Have a plan. Don’t tell me what it is or anything about it. If you have to move things because of rain, that’s fine. I don’t want to know until the day of the wedding, because then I won’t care, I’ll just want to be married.”

The being calm? Felt great.
The not caring? Even more great.

It’s a real toss up between freaking-out and not caring but I figure it will all work out in the end.

After the flowers have been chosen and the food options tasted, the dress altered and the tuxedo rentals secured, the plane tickets purchased and the hotel blocks reserved, the ketubah waiting for me in Sarasota and the kippots ordered there is a definite release of stress as you cross these items off of your MUST-DO list. However, you might remember that you still haven’t had a second meeting with the Rabbi, and you still need to arrange for your parents flights to the wedding destination and you want to lose five more pounds and avoid a stress-related break-out, you start to feel that rapid-heartbeat Oh-Shit feeling returning to your every waking step.

Getting married is a huge, life-changing event. Even if you have lived with your partner, there are new levels of shared property and space. At this point, I am really excited. I do waiver between being stressed and being blasé about the details. I think that is normal.

Slowly you become closer to your partner. Slowly the families accept your wedding choices. As the entire event starts to come together, you might even find yourself sitting back and smiling. At least until a distant relative who calls you and wants to know if they can bring their children and babies to the wedding and if the food is kosher and the fish wild-caught.

See? I can still laugh and drive at the same time. In fact, I was on the way to my hair and make-up trial when this was taken. And, I had just saved $500 on my florals. Total score!

wedding stress, bride, ketubah, kippot, pet-sitter, wedding, wedding tactics

While you really don’t need too much stuff on your honeymoon, it can be good to have a guideline as to what you should consider packing.

If you are going to a beachy resort here are things that will come in handy:

- Swimsuits (two or three for girls, at least two for the guys)
- Beach Cover-ups (be sure to check the guidebooks, some island nations are more conservative and resorts prefer that you wear full cover-ups when walking from your room to the pool or beach)
- Sunglasses
- Hat (Ladies… consider a wide-brimmed hat, it will protect your face, neck and shoulders from the strong tropical sun-rays) Also, for guys and gals, that tropical sunshine is really strong and your hair part WILL burn. Wear a damn hat, folks.
- A small shoulder bag or tote to use as beach and pool bag
- Flip-flops
- Several (2-3) tank tops and nice t-shirts
- Several (2-3) pairs of shorts and pants, think khaki dress pants or linen pants or shorts
- 2 or 3 skirts and dresses (in those formal, conservative places you’ll love having dresses)
- Cocktail dress
- Cardigan or wrap for those cool nights
- Sandals for day and evening (Men will need a pair of closed-toe shoes for the restaurants at night)
- Purse and, or an evening bag
- Sleepwear
- Sexy lingerie
- Gym clothes, socks and tennis shoes
- Sunscreen
- A book, magazine, iPod or portable DVD player — think beach and poolside entertainment

For more tips on honeymoon travel, click here.

It isn’t much of a secret that traditional weddings use a lot of STUFF and are not exactly known for being earth-friendly or resourceful. But you can change that starting right here! With just a little forethought and some action plans you can make your wedding environmentally friendly, economical and create less waste.

By considering where your wedding food and decorations are coming from and making a few simple choices and changes you can help to eliminate transportation fees and added traffic. Using an on-site caterer for all of your food and beverage needs, as well as having the cake prepared on-site will take a refrigerated truck off of your local roads and you will be saving the fees associated with those deliveries.

Florists usually have delivery fees as well and they cart those gorgeous blooms around in a truck, a big ‘ole refrigerated one, which means more gas and more environmental impact. Consider negotiating with them to deliver a day or so before hand and use the refrigerator on-site to store the flowers until the event, if they are able to deliver at a less traffic-congested hour or when it is more convenient for them, they might be willing to waive delivery fees and you won’t be making any more traffic.

Weddings often give out programs which use several different kinds of paper and often ribbon too. If you put out a collection box near your gift or cake table people can return them so you can save them or dispose of them responsibly at your local recycling center. Or, just skip this step and save yourself the cost and time of preparing programs which usually just result in paper waste.

Jewish weddings usually give out personalized yarmulkes. If you take it home and lay it inside of a drawer you can have the perfect soft and contained spot for a rings or pair of earrings.

Also, consider printing your invitations on recycled paper and print on the back side a request that they be recycled.

Just by taking a few minutes to consider alternatives and other uses for items used in your wedding you can make a big impact on your local environment, and often times, your wallet.

I have written this article several times before but I love this concept, so I revised a few of the issues and here it is again folks. Be a good guest. It matters. And if you have a bad guest, email me (thestacy@gmail.com) and tell me all about it and print out this here GEM of an article, if I do say so myself and mail it to them.

Unfortunately there are many people out there who have missed this article and will never read it so I’ve decided to summarize a few general concepts and hope that this web-page finds ALL OF YOUR guests, you know, just in case.

First: Send back the damn reply card. On time. Don’t ADD to the choices for food options. Be gracious and choose one. If you have an allergy or a special medical need, bring your own food or if you know the family well enough, contact someone other than the bride or groom, possibly a mother, sister or close friend of the couple and ask them if an alternative is available.

I know, I am a tab bit hard to please and my standards are sky high, but, whatever, I’m married now, so it doesn’t matter, right?

Anyway, to be a good guest, you just need to express some thanks for being invited and some mindfulness on replying on time. A good guest is not defined by one who gives a lot of money or lavish gifts. Quite the opposite! Just be grateful the couple chose to involve you in their most important day.

Congratulations! You’ve been invited to a wedding. Read the invitation and reply card carefully. Make a note of who is invited; you and a guest, you and a spouse, you and your family with kids. Chances are the engaged couple has thought very long and hard about your and guest or and family situation. Don’t ask to bring people who are not invited. I don’t particularly like any of the exceptions to this rule, however, if the engaged couple hasn’t seen you in a few months and there is someone new in your life who is quite important (defining this role is a slippery slope, however), call the couple and tell them you are dating someone very special and if they have room you would love to bring them, but you fully understand if they are faced with limited seating. If you are told you may bring a guest, by all means, be sure to bring someone, as they will have paid for another plate.

One more rule of being a good guest: ARRIVE ON TIME. In fact, arrive early. Weddings start at the time listed on the invitation. Consider the time it takes to part and walk to the venue and be seated. Plan to arrive 15-30 minutes prior to the ceremony.

Weddings are expensive. The couple chose to include you in something very special to them. Give a gift, within your means of course, and have a good time!

The magical links of the interweb have brought my attention to this. A bachelorette gift basket packaged in a trash can that is marketed as a BARF BUCKET. I’m really kinda at a loss for words on this one, so rather than pontificate about what I think is appropriate public behavior, I think I’ll take the high road and be gracious and just pass this photo along to all of ya’ll.

WHAT!?

WE TV has a new show called Bulging Brides in which a team of experts featuring a personal trainer and a nutrition specialist follow a bride-to-be for the two months prior to her wedding and basically kick her ass into shape so she will fit into a dress that is already purchased and altered and… doesn’t quite fit. Yet.

As a self-appointed wedding specialist I felt it was necessary for me to TiVo a few of these shows and review them here for all to know.

I was also secretly watching because I need to shed a few post-baby pounds myself and was hunting for diet and exercise tips.

My wedding was almost one year ago and I spent the three months prior to it getting into shape. I got myself a gym membership and went. A lot. It wasn’t easy at first but I was determined as most brides are to tone my arms and define my waistline. In time and with a lot of hard work by which I mean, HOURS of cardio, I lost about ten pounds and fit into clothes I hadn’t worn in years, er, ever.

I think the show only provides a brief idea of what needs to happen for a bride to get in shape fast. The most important tip that I took from the show was to take measurements first and at reasonable intervals so that you can really chart your progress. Most the of brides profiled were eating poorly and not exercising at all in the beginning so, a little bit of work and diet change made a world of difference. The coaches were encouraging but a little too cute-like for my tastes. They gave good tips on exercise but never actually showed the girls sweating it for their hour-long cardio sessions. I was a little disappointed that the show wasn’t more comprehensive but it did get the point across: eat less, move more and fit into your dress better.

Dear Stacy: Should I invite the parents of those in my bridal party to the wedding? Several of the groomsmen have been friends since they were children, over fifteen years now, while I’ve only known some of my bridesmaids for about two years and I certainly don’t know their parents. I feel that if we invite some of the parents, we should invite all. Do you agree? Please help me settle this issue without any hurt feelings.

Ah. I think this issue is more common that we might expect. When you are not the one planning the wedding all of these smaller debatable issues don’t seem so crisis of the day but I know that when you are deciding who to invite and what to spend every small decision seems monstrous. So, first things first, okay?

Sometimes it is easier to think about these issues when you are slightly removed from the situation, for example, go out for a coffee with a girlfriend who isn’t too involved in the wedding and who doesn’t mind hearing you wax poetic like about your wedding woes. If your husband-to-be is supper supportive and not likely to take sides or insert his opinion, ask him to be your sounding board.

First, remember that this is your wedding, your day, your money, you invite those who you want to invite. Period. Nothing is ever really that simple, right? Next question is: Do you know these parents? If you, your financee or your parents know the parents of the bridal party member then perhaps they should be invited. If they don’t live locally, you can possible cross them off based on this fact, if you are looking to cut down on your guest list. By no means do you need to make it equal. (DO NOT THINK:Invite the mother of a bridesmaid and therefore the mother of a groomsman too?) Overall, if the parents of a bridal party member are people you want with you on your day of celebration, then invite them.

Chances are the parents of other friends will not feel at all excluded, and they still might send a congratulatory gift!

I’ve been writing for Wedding Tactics for a full year now. When I started maintaining this site I didn’t know what it would become and how long I’d be writing. In fact, at the time, 451 Press was still just getting off the ground. In fact, its been pretty amazing watching the network grow along with my site.

My first posting discussed the differences between a marriage and a wedding. The first few months following this entry I used the planning of my own wedding as a guide for what to write about.

A few times I mentioned the issues in gaining a new set of parents and specifically, the mother-in-law.

I wrote a lot about dresses and veils and accessories.
And for a few months I had featured columns on certain days of the week, Trends on Tuesday and Traditions Thursday. I used these headlines as a means to explain traditions like the tossing of the garter.

April was a very popular month on this site. My stats went thru the roof, but that was a very popular wedding time of year. I get asked frequently about the Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue thing. The meaning and its history are detailed here.

One of my all-time favorite posting was about what guests should wear to a wedding. I noticed during the Spring months that several clothing stores were featuring lines of dresses for wedding guests. This is a good guide to style options depending on the wedding venue.

I got married in May. Then, I started a new job in June and my postings got a bit less frequent for awhile. Meanwhile, I did profile some great summer wedding themes.

As the year went on I tried to focus on all the different issues surrounding weddings, including mens clothing, or, tuxedos and a few funny stories too, like this one about a guy who lost his wedding ring.

And, finally, the most recent repeating column, Wedding Tactics: On Location, features vendors and venues in random cities. By featuring actual wedding business providers across the nation, I hope that readers from all states will be attracted to read and follow along and also to ask questions and participate in the Wedding Tactics dialogue. The On-Location feature can be seen here, here and here. And also here.

Thanks to all the readers who made this a successful year for me and 451 Press. I look forward to another even better year here.

Happy New Year!

Thanks to Reader Andrea for asking me this question. I decided that I had enough to say about being a pregnant bridesmaid that I needed to write a follow-up entry about it.

Dear Stacy: You mentioned here that you were going to be a bridesmaid in a wedding while you were (very) pregnant…I have just found out I’ll be in two weddings at my 7 month mark and would love to hear more about your dress choice/fittings/lessons learned from the experience as a soon-to-be mom. Thanks and good luck with your newest addition!

Yes, I was in a wedding at 30 weeks pregnant. I was big. To give you an idea of my preggo shape, pre-pregnancy I was a medium build, larger busted, 5′4″ curvy but fit person. My pregnant belly is very much a big round belly all out front. I gained a little weight in my legs and arms but at the 30 week mark I wasn’t too preoccupied with it. Basically, my arms have looked fatter not pregnant. So, it was really a matter of fitting a should-be sleek gown over my not-so-sleek figure.

Here is what I suggest and what I learned … talk with the bride before hand of course and hopefully she will be understanding of your needs. Such as needing to sit more than usual or needing to much on crackers while your hair is being done. The wedding I was in was that of my closest friend and she was more worried about me than she ever needed to be … hopefully your bride will be slightly similar. I felt a little bad about being so much of a spectacle at my good friend’s wedding, but she didn’t see it that way.

I didn’t choose the dress myself, the bride did. She didn’t choose it specifically for my potential growth, but it ended up working out well. When she chose it, I wasn’t even showing at all - just bloated really. It was an empire waist gown which meant the only measurement was taken at the bust. They measured me in June when I was just at the end of my first trimester and added four inches to accommodate for any potential bust enhancements. In retrospect, they overestimated way too much. My chest didn’t grow that much, I was always, um, full-chested, but I didn’t grow drastically in size. I did go from a 34 inch bra to a 38 very early on, but I’m carrying high and I guess it was my rib cage expanding. I got pregnant at about a size 10 and the dress they ordered was a size 20!!! The bust ended up being a little too large, even though it was altered, and done well, I might add, the depth of the bust piece was larger than it should have been. However! The dress was navy which hid any imperfections that a light color wouldn’t.

I was going to wear heels … the other bridesmaids, were all taller than me and feeling so round as it was, I wanted to at least have height … but they talked me into flats at the last moment and I was really glad they did. My feet were not swollen then, but the heels would have been really not comfortable.

Oh, back to the dress issue: I would have preferred a maternity specific gown, however, at the time, I had no idea how big I would be and the bride wanted all the fabrics to be the same. I believe it was sheer over satin, or something that looked like that. And, that fabric didn’t come on the maternity styles. Many bridesmaid dress lines come also in maternity styles where you pick out a skirt (elastic waist) and the tops are what vary in coverage and style. I highly recommend trying to get a maternity dress if possible, otherwise, definitely, an empire waist — where it fits at the bust and then just hangs loosely.

I did feel large. I did feel out of place. But - I just decided to go with the flow. I wore something tight to the rehearsal dinner so it was obvious that I was pregnant and proud and that way, the next day, in the navy colored tent, I knew people KNEW I was just pregnant, not trying to shoplift a small chair under my dress.

And, finally, tips for getting through the day. At 30 weeks I had just hit the third trimester mark and I was getting tired easily again. I was worried about making it through the day without getting a headache or feeling nauseous, as I was starting to when I got overtired. So, I slept late that morning, ate well, packed some snacks and sat down as much as possible during the getting ready part. I tried to stay calm and relaxed too which helped a bit. During the ceremony, I sat a lot more than I usually would have too.

I recommend the following if possible:

1. A darker colored dress, it will hide imperfections that alterations can’t fix, will give you a slimmer line, and makes you feel a little less like a moonbeam when walking across the dance floor.
2. Flat shoes or very low wide heels
3. Don’t forget to eat and drink throughout the day.
4. Don’t be afraid to sit down when you need to — conserve your energy so you can enjoy the whole event.

A good friend of mine is getting married next month.

She is getting some very interesting responses from guests. Many of the guests, in fact, two thirds of them are personal friends of each set of parents. If you have ever had a wedding you know that these guests give good gifts and lot of money but, also just exist to cost you money and cause you to need more tables and stress over the seating arrangements.

My friend? She is patient. She is … quite kind.

A guest recently replied the following:

“Will attend” was crossed out.

“Might attend” was penciled in.

A note was attached to call them a week, a WEEK! before the wedding to find out if they would be attending. Upon calling to clarify the note, it was discovered that they said, not to worry about food or final counts but that they would bring their own food!

Ya’ll … a wedding requires a lot of planning. The bride is stressed enough. Don’t send messages like that! Ever! Either you will attend or not attend, and you must decide with great certainty, barring emergency situations, by the date the reply is requested.

Clearly this guest did not consider a table and seating arrangement. Nor did they realize that unless you have a medical condition, bringing your own food is rude. And! In most venues, it is illegal, according to local health codes to bring your own food into an establishment that serves their own.

If you don’t know how to be a good wedding guests, or if you just want to check on your recent etiquette, read this entry here.

If you want a really good laugh, read this entry where I wrote to a relative who had made very person inquiries as to her “needs” at my wedding.

In looking back at my archieves, I’ve written a lot about being a good guest, being good to your guests and it never ceases to amaze me when people are inconsiderate. The most important thing to remember is that if you are invited as a guest, be gracious and thankful. If, for any reason, you don’t feel gracious toward those who invited you, be the better person, the more respectable person, and send regrets. Remember, an invitation is a courtesy, just because you aren’t invited doesn’t mean you weren’t considered, be aware of space and money constraints that people undoubtedly face when having a wedding.

And if you go to the wedding, be a good guest and have a great time!

This is NOT me and NOT my dress. But, you know, it could be this bad

I am a bridesmaid in a wedding on October 14th. Four weeks from today, exactly.

I am 25 weeks pregnant and will be 30 weeks pregnant at that wedding.

For those of ya’ll who don’t know, that’s grossly and obscenely pregnant. Most pregnancies are about 40 weeks long but 37 weeks is totally full term and ready to pop.

I’m wearing a real dress too. Or at least, that is the plan. I will definitely post pictures and explain in detail what my seamstress did once I get my dress back. I can’t get my final alterations until just at the last minute, for obvious reasons.

But, the bride is being very considerate and giving me a chair to sit in during the ceremony. I should only have to wear my heels for pictures and for walking down the aisle.

I am a little uneasy about posing for photos with three other women who are a combined total of a size ten. I mean, they are size 0, 4, and 6 respectively and I will be a shadow-casting whale in my pregnant glory. Oy.

It is very much possible to incorporate pregnant friends into a wedding. Try to be as understanding as possible, especially if you haven’t experienced pregnancy yourself. You have no idea how much her back is hurting or how swollen her feet really are. Offer to have chairs nearby and if all of that is too much for you to worry about, have a heart to heart conversation about with your bridesmaid about how she feels about possibly NOT being in the wedding party but rather just helping out in different ways. You might be very surprised at how happy she is to relinquish her duties.

pregnancy, pregnant, bridesmaid, dress, wedding

A recent article in The Washington Post featured a newlywed couple whose wedding gifts were stolen by a well dressed wedding crasher.

Anthony and Jennifer Smith left Garden Grove, California for their honeymoon in Florida thinking they would come home and put their monetary wedding gifts to good use. They returned home to bad news; their wedding money had been stolen. At their wedding!

The wedding crasher was caught on surveillance video but so far there is no news on his capture. He even dressed like the wedding party. Perhaps he knew someone wedding?

Before you start thinking that you need to keep things secret or start suspecting your friends of any mishaps, consider an alternative to protect your gifts.

Most weddings have a gift table with some sort of box in which to deposit cards and checks. If you have a dependable wedding coordinator, family member or friend, ask them to empty the box periodically throughout the night and remove the cards and checks to a locked car. An on-location event coordinator will likely have an office in which to lock valuables. Also, tape your box closed. Be sure it sealed well so that cards can go in, but none can come out.

And, finally, before you head off for your honeymoon, although it does seem a bit mercenary, although it really is just safety insurance for you and your guests, set aside a few minutes when you and your new spouse can open your cards and collect the checks. This is especially important if your wedding is in a destination location and you cannot deposit your checks immediately, or if you are leaving the country. If you are leaving the country, don’t take the checks with you.

Marc and I got married in Florida, honeymooned in Jamaica and live in Maryland. We sent my Aunt home with our checks, and a full list of those checks and the amounts. She held them for us until we got home. And she only stole a few of them!

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Dear Stacy, Would you care to discuss the ethics of a Friday evening (5pm) wedding, especially in a major metropolitan area (like Washington)? The date is special to us, but would be wrong to force our guests to drive through that traffic to get there?

Yes. No. I don’t know.

This is a tough question and I have to admit I have given it a few days of thought.

It boils down to this: What matter more to you: Having this particular wedding on this particular day and time? OR, sharing a wedding that might be at a different place and time, with our guests. If you want a guest centered wedding with extensive partying and dancing, then does the date really matter? If it matters most to have a certain sunset in a certain location at a specific time of the year, then that is your priority.

I think it is important when planning a wedding to choose a few things that matter most, and that will help the other details fall into place. For me, it was simply that I was going to be marrying Marc and that I had a bouquet that I wanted and that I got to dance with my Dad. I was very overwhelmed and emotional that so many people chose to travel for my wedding, so, I got more than what I wanted – I got it all. But, I would have been fine with it just being a few people and our marriage ceremony and my damn flowers. If you lay out your priorities, you won’t be disappointed if you stick to those goals.

I can’t give you a yes or know but I am going to be an impartial judge by pointing out of some important things to consider when planning a wedding at a potentially not so convenient time.

First of all, a Friday night wedding is a fine idea. They are not frequent but are well within reason and I would even venture to say, common, in some places where venues book up on weekend nights years in advance. Also a Friday evening is less expensive than a Saturday evening at certain venues because of demand. I’m all for finding ways to cut costs, so from that perspective, a Friday night is fine. Heck! A Wednesday afternoon is fine too if that’s what you want.

I’m not sure why you specify 5pm; does it have to begin at 5pm? Could you moved it to 7pm which is later, granted, but it does give people more time to leave work a little early, go home and change and attend your event. How crucial is this fact? Is this a top priority to you?
As I have said before, your wedding is your wedding. Would you have the same wedding if it was just you and your parents standing there watching you? Some weddings are for the couple getting married, while others are really a demonstration for the guests, a display of how much you can spend, or a chance to dazzle friends and family. What’s yours?

I have always believed that you are not forcing guests to attend at all. Just because you are inviting people to your wedding doesn’t mean they are forced to attend. Au contraire. If they choose to join you for the celebration, they chose to accept the travel, time constraints and financial responsibilities of attending, whatever that may be. If they are not comfortable accepting those facts, there is a line on the invitation allow them to send regrets.

So, let’s say you have a wedding at five o’clock in the evening on a Friday night in Washington, DC. Are your guests coming from out of town? Consider having a shuttle bus or van transport them from the hotel to the venue, this will cut down on traffic and allow the guests to enjoy the occasion rather than fight traffic and arrive, oh, err … frazzled? When people have a Sunday night wedding, guests are imposed upon to give up some of their Monday morning for travel. So, it makes sense that a Friday night wedding imposes a bit on the earlier end of the weekend, right? These are just the implications of accepting an invitation to an event.

To wrap up this non-answer, I would say this is not a matter of ethics. If you choose, for whatever reason, to have your wedding at a time that may be inconvenient for a lot of your guests, it is up to you to keep that in mind if they reply with regrets or are late for the ceremony. However, at all costs, guest should really try to arrive on time. But, if you are asking them to commute on Connecticut Avenue at rush hour on a Friday, seriously, it is a total crap shoot. Also, be kind if people tell you they aren’t able to make it. Life is busy and there are always scheduling conflicts, but if it is important to you to have a wedding in a certain way and that certain way isn’t easy for people to attend, just understand that and do what you want if that certain way really matters that much to you.

Most couples choose to register at one or several department stores. They tend to choose a variety of household goods and luxury items to start them off in their first home.

If you can’t find something on a registry that you wish to give or if the registry has all been purchased, or, if you just want to give something more personal, more creative and more unique, consider the options below.

1. Lovopoly. A personalized version of the popular and timeless game, Monopoly. Priced very affordably at $19.95!

2. Hot Air Balloon Ride.

3. For the couple who has it all and doesn’t want gifts, or prefers to give to others, consider a donation to the Heifer Foundation. You can make a big different in someone else’s life with as little as $20, or as much as $5000.

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