Wedding Tactics

The invitation arrived in the mail a month ago and you just sent back the reply card with a check next to will attend and chicken. You mark your calendar blackberry and head to your closet or the nearest department store to decide what to wear.

You might start to think to yourself that it IS easier to be in the wedding party because then you don’t have to choose your own clothes. There are a few simple rules to follow to ensure that you do not stick out like a sore thumb for being over or under dressed, or the lady with the stupid hat. The idea is to be dressed appropriately for the event, time of day, location and most of all, wear something that compliments your body, or really, doesn’t make you look like a whore. It is, after all, somebody’s wedding.

WOMEN:

A short dress or not-too-business like suit is acceptable for a casual or semi-formal daytime wedding. For an evening wedding, informal or semi-formal, think: country club, garden wedding, pool or lakeside, a cocktail dress is called for. If the wedding takes place midday and is formal, think: a VIP wedding, suits and dresses are appropriate and hats and gloves are optional, a la Jackie Kennedy. Evening and black-tie events dictate a long dress or a fancy short cocktail dress stepped up with glitzy accessories or a shoulder wrap. They may be few and far between, but a white tie ultra formal event calls for a long gown and extra glam like furs, and rented diamond jewelery.

MEN:

During the day a man should wear a dress shirt, pants and a sports coat. A suit is best for an evening wedding or a formal daytime wedding. You are safer if the suit is dark in color. A light colored suit is acceptable for a lakeside or beach wedding. I hope I don’t need to say, SUIT AND TIE. Please, please tell me that it implied that when I say wear a suit you know I mean, suit and tie. If you are attending a nighttime wedding or the invitation specifies black-tie, men should wear a tuxedo.

If you want to read more about how what is expected of a wedding guest and how to be a gracious guest, click here.

I’ve been writing for Wedding Tactics for a full year now. When I started maintaining this site I didn’t know what it would become and how long I’d be writing. In fact, at the time, 451 Press was still just getting off the ground. In fact, its been pretty amazing watching the network grow along with my site.

My first posting discussed the differences between a marriage and a wedding. The first few months following this entry I used the planning of my own wedding as a guide for what to write about.

A few times I mentioned the issues in gaining a new set of parents and specifically, the mother-in-law.

I wrote a lot about dresses and veils and accessories.
And for a few months I had featured columns on certain days of the week, Trends on Tuesday and Traditions Thursday. I used these headlines as a means to explain traditions like the tossing of the garter.

April was a very popular month on this site. My stats went thru the roof, but that was a very popular wedding time of year. I get asked frequently about the Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue thing. The meaning and its history are detailed here.

One of my all-time favorite posting was about what guests should wear to a wedding. I noticed during the Spring months that several clothing stores were featuring lines of dresses for wedding guests. This is a good guide to style options depending on the wedding venue.

I got married in May. Then, I started a new job in June and my postings got a bit less frequent for awhile. Meanwhile, I did profile some great summer wedding themes.

As the year went on I tried to focus on all the different issues surrounding weddings, including mens clothing, or, tuxedos and a few funny stories too, like this one about a guy who lost his wedding ring.

And, finally, the most recent repeating column, Wedding Tactics: On Location, features vendors and venues in random cities. By featuring actual wedding business providers across the nation, I hope that readers from all states will be attracted to read and follow along and also to ask questions and participate in the Wedding Tactics dialogue. The On-Location feature can be seen here, here and here. And also here.

Thanks to all the readers who made this a successful year for me and 451 Press. I look forward to another even better year here.

Happy New Year!

Both tuxedos are available for rent from After Hours Formalwear.

Dear Stacy,

I am trying to work out the colors for my wedding and bridesmaids. We are planning a garden by the sea ceremony and a beachside reception following. The groom wants to wear a variation of beige. I am not sure what color to dress the bridesmaids in. My gown is ivory. I have light olive skin and the bridesmaids are of a asian darker skin color, quite tanned.

I have always liked outdoor events because you can use so many of the colors already provided in nature. Just build off of the palate already provided to you.

You didn’t specify whether or not the groom wants to wear a beige tuxedo, or a suit or just a beige top. I will try to provide some options regardless of what you were thinking. When you don’t know where to begin or how to mix certain colors, consider looking at a picture of flowers or a centerpiece. Examine the colors given to you by nature.

In this photograph, the florals show a palm frawn in a light green, a blue hydrangea, some green leaves and a soft ivory flower. The stems are most likely brown too. If you were to use this palate to build a bridal party wardrobe, it might include some of the following dresses.

With this brown bridesmaid gown, I would have them carry a small bouquet of blue hydrangea, to match the pictures above. Or, alternatively, pull a color from your bouquet and set a soft floral against the brown. The flowers will really stand out and the look is quite elegant and breathtaking.

This light blue dress matches the blue hygrangea flower above quite well. To keep the image soft and outdoorsy, have the ‘maids carry a small bouquet of ivory flowers such as peonies, roses, hydrangeas, or even callas.

I really love this mossey green dress. Something about the naturalness of the color just speaks to me. Ivory looks stuning next to this color, a plus since your gown is ivory. You have a lot of options with florals because green is visible in most bouquet arrangments. I would have these bridesmaids carry a smaller and simplier version of the bouquet you choose to carry.

Groom in beige Number 1.

As you can see, I based all of these off of the bridal couple in ivory and beige. This beige tuxedo for rent only from Afterhours is very formal and looks great on most men. However, this beige suit below is pictured from a beach front wedding, and while very sharp, is a slightly more casual look.

Groom in Beige Number Two.

bridesmaid dress, beige tuxedo, beige suit, wedding, beach, green, blue, brown, ivory,

I’m 81 days away from my wedding right now.

Yesterday I ordered our ketubah, complete with personalization. It looks like this:

It is so exciting to actually check something OFF of my To-Do list! I feel like I have a huge thing taken care of. Now, if only we could get the men’s clothing sorted out.

Our bridal party is small, consisting of a father of the bride, a father of the groom, a groom, a best-man (brother of groom) and brother of the bride. However, the brother of the bride is flying in from Europe to attend and can’t on last minute notice get a tuxedo, so he is fine in a suit or dress pants and a sport-coat. Now! The “issue” that causes me to start ticking my head and breathing at unnatural rates is whether or not all the men will wear the same, a black tuxedo and a vest of my choosing? Or, will the father’s be in all-black and white tuxedos and the groom and best-man will wear the special vest? I’m not too up to date on modern men’s wear. Meanwhile, my brother-in-law is still trying to convince me that they should all wear a Jcrew or Gap linen suit. I’m not opposed, but it means more schlepping and more coordinating.

I’ve searched all over for pictures of weddings where men did not wear tuxedos and all I see are black suits, (Bah.) and tan suits with leather flip-flops for beach weddings. Seeing as how I have a country club wedding, I think a suit is the lowest we can go on the scale of men’s formal wear.

I really like these options, but I’m not sure they go with the setting.

ketubah, wedding, groom’s clothing, suits, tuxedos