Wedding Tactics

If you have already chosen a date for your wedding you know firsthand what a delicate little woven web it is to avoid offending people, trying to make people happy and manage to get married before the end of the decade. For all you recently engaged couples who are still “thinking it over” and “not yet settled on a date” … here are some tips, pitfalls to look out for and general complaints you can expect to hear.

The wedding over a holiday weekend debate meant that travel would be more expensive but people wouldn’t necessarily have to take as much time off from work. I thought I would feel guilty for taking someone’s intensely coveted three-day weekend. Although, in hindsight, I didn’t think much about it once the date was chosen and the invitations were in the mail. What seems huge today will be a faint memory tomorrow.

I got engaged in July, and I always knew I wanted a Fall wedding. That meant that we either had a wedding in December (yes, I know, not so much autumn anymore and also soon) … or we waited a year and a half.

I was not going to wait a year and a half.

Marc also said NO to December for that whole too soon reason. Men! If you can train for a marathon in four months; you can plan a wedding in four months.

When we finally decided where we wanted to get married, we just looked at the dates they had available and the openings began in early May. I did not want to get married on Mother’s Day or Memorial Day. May 20th was the earliest that our venue was available, so, that’s how we decided on our date.

I had friends beg me not to get married in December because they had another wedding to attend the week before, also in Florida and that would have been a lot of traveling for them.

My brother-in-law-to-be also asked me to move my wedding date, after I had put down a deposit, because his girlfriend’s sister was getting married the weekend before, and that’s just a lot of wedding-time for them. Sorry guys, you’ll get over it.

So much for my Fall wedding, or my December wedding.

We chose our date based on what was available at our venue. This was really just the beginning of the flexibility I would need to extend for wedding planning.

It’s summertime folks and summer wouldn’t be complete without a good old chick-flick wedding movie. Mamma Mia!, starring Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan and Amanda Seyfried isn’t getting the best reviews so far, but no fear… it’s about a wedding! If you need a little wedding-chaos-comedy to make you thankful for your own nuptial plans, check show-times at your local theater.

I just came across this little gem of wedding humor. A website featuring videos and photos of tacky and horrid wedding events. It’s really a must see … at least it’ll help lighten the mood and relieve some wedding-planning stress.

CLICK HERE: Tacky Weddings

Honeymoon registries are the new BIG THING. Gifts of money are often given at a wedding so why not create a registry where people can set aside money that will help pay for your honeymoon or certain parts of the honeymoon?

There is a new website, the first of its kind called the Honey Fund.

www.Honeyfund.com

Your cake can be much more than a simple sugary dessert. It can be the centerpiece of the room sitting on an elevated display table for the duration of your ceremony and reception. It can be the one touch of vibrant color in the midst of a neutral ivory-themed room, or the cartoon-ish center of humor reminding you and your new spouse just what brought you together in the first place.

Wedding cakes today are hip, colorful and often times a major piece of decor in the wedding room.

This cake of delicate yellow and white icing framed in pearl-beading and soft daisies comes from the Ron Ben-Israel collection. This design can be found here.

Edith Meyer Wedding Cakes in Santa Cruz, California makes some amazing designs and they use all organic ingredients.

Many cakes, sold as groom’s cakes CAN be used as the one and only wedding cake, if you are looking for something a little more unique and creative.

This burger cake is made by The Cake Girls in Chicago, Illinois. According to their website, they currently do not ship cakes. This is THE cake for the couple who met and fell in love over a burger. Was your first date a cook-out? Why not make your wedding unique by having a cake that is just a little different from all the other weddings?

Confetti Cakes in New York City made this cake originally for a wine enthusiast.

If you see a cake design that you like, take it to your baker, ask them to design something, many of them are flexible and will jump at the chance to be a little creative.

This Alvina Valenta bridesmaid gown is gorgeous. The cowl neckline is sultry, sexy and trendy. It retails for between $250 and $350, a wee bit expensive for the average bridesmaid but the colors are absolutely breathtaking. I would love to see this gown featured in a fall wedding ceremony held in an event hall, museum or historic mansion.

For a less costly bridal attendant dress consider this fun party dress, I like it in red. Made by Eden Bridals it is part of the Eden Maids line. Expect to find this gown for under $150.

You can also consider dress lines where you can order the same gown in a variety of colors and allow your bridesmaid to choose from any or a few color options. Ideal Bite suggests doing this so that the maids can reuse the gown at an event of their own choosing.

The Benefits ( According to Ideal Bite )

* Reusing. Just wearing a dress once isn’t exactly eco-friendly; typical bridesmaid dresses are made from acetate or polyester - both petroleum byproducts that require a lot of energy to produce.
* Not breaking their banks. Bridesmaid’s dresses cost an average of $138 each, which adds up if you’re like we are and everybody you freakin’ know is getting married.
* A dress they’ll actually wanna keep.

If you want to give the maids more flexibility but don’t want a rainbow of colors at your alter, consider choosing a simple black or brown cocktail gown that they can wear to other occasions.

The magical links of the interweb have brought my attention to this. A bachelorette gift basket packaged in a trash can that is marketed as a BARF BUCKET. I’m really kinda at a loss for words on this one, so rather than pontificate about what I think is appropriate public behavior, I think I’ll take the high road and be gracious and just pass this photo along to all of ya’ll.

WHAT!?

Wedding Links for April 8, 2008. Below are some links to other wedding sites I came across today.

Best Wedding Sites features a page of links to Bridal Shows and Expos in every state. When I was engaged I attended two of these expos. At the first one I was a bit timid and just looked around and collected information. At the second one I made contacts and got exactly the answers I went there with. I knew what I was looking for and where to go. I suggest taking a friend or a mother as there is a lot of stuff to carry and it always helps to have extra hands and a smiling face in a sea of crazy brides-to-be.

The Dessy Group website has a new feature allowing you to see bridesmaid gowns from several new angles. This is a great feature to use if you are just starting your search for a bridesmaid gown. Take a look at these gowns from all angles and then decide if they are worth having your maids schlep into a store for a try on.

Brenda has a Real Weddings feature where she links to an full wedding album. What’s great about this new feature is that you can also get a list of the vendors who supplied the wedding materials.

Red Envelope is one of my favorite gift-giving sites. They have great gifts at a variety of prices and a special wedding section with suggestions for bridesmaid and groomsmen gifts. And for the next week they are running a special offering 25% off of purchases.

Every bride knows that her hair must be perfect on her wedding day. Brides all over search websites on their lunch breaks trying to find different styles of curls and straight and updos that will match their style, their dress, and be perfect for that long walk down the aisle. But if only you could see a preview of yourself with all those hairstyles.

Here it is ladies! A virtual-salon right here at your finger tips. Brides (dot com) is offering a virtual try-on studio for your wedding day hair style. All you have to do is upload a photo of yourself, a straight-on head shot with your hair pulled back against a simple white background and then choose different hair and make-up styles without the risk of split ends or a horrifying eyeliner experience.

Regardless of your wedding style, it is best to choose a style that you feel is wearable, and most importantly, a compliment to your dress. Hair that is pulled back too tightly can look severe and hair that isn’t pulled back at all can detract from your dress and neckline. You can never go wrong with a gentle style that accentuates your cheek bones and shows off your collarbones.

This outdoor wedding at the UC Berkeley Botanical Garden is featured on TheKnot and shows good use of nature and simple colors .

I recently got some fan-mail from Reader Daniela telling me about a site that sells fabulous Ketubahs.

The Ketubah Company (dot com) has some really unique, simple and romantic ketubahs for sale for reasonable prices, too.

A ketubah is a Jewish marriage contract. It is signed by the bride and groom and the Rabbi just before the wedding ceremony or sometimes as part of the ceremony. It explains the basic responsibilities of the husband and wife. It is also signed by two witnesses.

In a conservative or orthodox ceremony, it must be signed by men who are not related to the couple, and who are of course, also Jewish. In a reform ceremony, such as mine, it can be signed by anyone the bride and groom choose – as long as the participating Rabbi agrees. In our case, we both have one paternal uncle who will be signing as our witnesses. This is special to us because they are part of our family and we want our marriage and wedding to be very family-centric.

Historically, Ketubahs protected a woman’s rights in the case of a divorce. Ketubahs come in many different texts, orthodox, conservative and reform; some are just written in Hebrew and some Hebrew and English.

Click here for more details and pictures from a previous postings about how a ketubah is featured in a Jewish wedding.

The Ketubah Company offers work done in several different styles and mediums, including calligraphy, watercolor, sketching, oil paint, paper collage and graphics. There is a ketubah here for all tastes.

A runway-ready 2008 Carolina Herrera wedding gown.

For the simple but elegant summer bride, JCrew offers a line of wedding dresses.

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Having written for a wedding blog for over a year now, and in that year, having my own wedding, I am on about seventy gagillion email lists for various wedding paraphernalia. I usually just delete these emails but sometimes they give me ideas and sometimes it is just nice to indulge myself in a girlie moment and admire some pretty wedding invitations.

Hello Lucky is a great website featuring some gorgeous invitations.

Invitations can be a dark forest of options enough to make you choke on the words modern floral embossed script lettering, but sometimes it is just fun to look at the pretty ones.

Actually, invitations are important to setting the tone for your wedding. You can match it to the theme and color exactly or just use an elegant simple invitation and leave the colors and theme a surprise.

When picking your invitations it is important to remember above all to stay within your budget and to pick something that fits your personality and the tone of your wedding. When in doubt, go simple because too many colors and decorations and ribbons can detract from the information.

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The perfect cake for those who grew up in the mid-eighties and get how iconic this really is. You know, or for a groom’s cake.