Wedding Tactics

While you really don’t need too much stuff on your honeymoon, it can be good to have a guideline as to what you should consider packing.

If you are going to a beachy resort here are things that will come in handy:

- Swimsuits (two or three for girls, at least two for the guys)
- Beach Cover-ups (be sure to check the guidebooks, some island nations are more conservative and resorts prefer that you wear full cover-ups when walking from your room to the pool or beach)
- Sunglasses
- Hat (Ladies… consider a wide-brimmed hat, it will protect your face, neck and shoulders from the strong tropical sun-rays) Also, for guys and gals, that tropical sunshine is really strong and your hair part WILL burn. Wear a damn hat, folks.
- A small shoulder bag or tote to use as beach and pool bag
- Flip-flops
- Several (2-3) tank tops and nice t-shirts
- Several (2-3) pairs of shorts and pants, think khaki dress pants or linen pants or shorts
- 2 or 3 skirts and dresses (in those formal, conservative places you’ll love having dresses)
- Cocktail dress
- Cardigan or wrap for those cool nights
- Sandals for day and evening (Men will need a pair of closed-toe shoes for the restaurants at night)
- Purse and, or an evening bag
- Sleepwear
- Sexy lingerie
- Gym clothes, socks and tennis shoes
- Sunscreen
- A book, magazine, iPod or portable DVD player — think beach and poolside entertainment

For more tips on honeymoon travel, click here.

I’ve just started hearing about a few engagements that took place around Valentine’s Day. If you are one of those people, a sincere congratulations to you!

One couple in particular is getting married at the end of the summer. A wedding, in exactly six months. I can hear the style guides and high-glam planners cringing with absolute fright. But I assure you, it is possible to have the wedding you want in six months or less. All it takes is some careful planning in the beginning and some diligent team work. By team work I am absolutely implying that if you have a mother or mother-in-law who wants to man the controls, by all means, this is the time they are needed. You really do need someone working on plans more than just on weekends.

Many vendors book up months and even years in advance so it may not be possible to have your choice of vendors. You do compromise some degree of choosiness but that doesn’t mean you have to give up on quality. Employ your friends and family to help you, you will need it for making phone calls and lining up vendors.

I have also written a detailed beauty checklist to follow leading up to your wedding. Many of these activities can be abbreviated when time is limited.

Here is an abbreviated to do list in you are planning to get married in less than six months:

Immediately:
Decide on your budget, color/theme, and make a thorough list of all the things you wish to incorporate into the wedding, include EVERYTHING, even things like newspaper announcement or embossed personalized napkins because for one it will help you decide what is really important to you, it will force you to prioritize and most importantly, delegate and ask for help. With this short of a time frame, you have to ask others, unless of course you don’t work and can spend forty plus hours a week planning your own wedding, in which case, you shouldn’t be reading my website.

Questions to ask yourself:
1. Will you hire a coordinator?
2. Will you have a separate ceremony/reception site, or will it be the same location?
3. Start looking for a gown, most likely, unless you buy off the rack or at a close-out sale, it will take a few months for the dress to be made and be shipped to you.
4. Create your guest list because this will determine what kind of venue size you need.
5. Register for gifts.

Vendors:
1. Book an officiant, NOW.
2. DJ or Band? You have a much better bet finding a DJ on shorter notice.
3. Caterer.
4. Florist.
5. Photographer.
6. Do them all now. Make phone calls and your first question needs to be: ARE YOU AVAILABLE ON MY WEDDING DATE? If they are, then talk specifics and decide if you want them.

Other important things to do:
1. Order invitations.
2. Book a honeymoon.
3. Select a cake.
4. Shop for rings.

Okay! Phew! That’s the short list of what you need to think about and do RIGHT NOW if you are getting married this summer and haven’t done anything yet.

And don’t stress too much, remember, weddings are happy times and should be FUN.

While you really don’t need too much stuff on your honeymoon, it can be good to have a guideline as to what you should consider packing.

If you are going to a beachy resort here are things that will come in handy:

- Swimsuits (two or three for girls, at least two for the guys)
- Beach Cover-ups (be sure to check the guidebooks, some island nations are more conservative and resorts prefer that you wear full cover-ups when walking from your room to the pool or beach)
- Sunglasses
- Hat (Ladies… consider a wide-brimmed hat, it will protect your face, neck and shoulders from the strong tropical sun-rays) Also, for guys and gals, that tropical sunshine is really strong and your hair part WILL burn. Wear a damn hat, folks.
- A small shoulder bag or tote to use as beach and pool bag
- Flip-flops
- Several (2-3) tank tops and nice t-shirts
- Several (2-3) pairs of shorts and pants, think khaki dress pants or linen pants or shorts
- 2 or 3 skirts and dresses (in those formal, conservative places you’ll love having dresses)
- Cocktail dress
- Cardigan or wrap for those cool nights
- Sandals for day and evening (Men will need a pair of closed-toe shoes for the restaurants at night)
- Purse and, or an evening bag
- Sleepwear
- Sexy lingerie
- Gym clothes, socks and tennis shoes
- Sunscreen
- A book, magazine, iPod or portable DVD player — think beach and poolside entertainment

For more tips on honeymoon travel, click here.

Here are some tips to help make your honeymoon even more exciting and memorable:

1. When you are searching for resorts, look at all the available pictures. Look very carefully at the detail. Does the pool have plastic or wooden furniture? These small details will tell you if the venue is up to your standards and meets your needs.

2. Don’t rely solely on star ratings. Remember that different countries have different rating systems, as do different travel guides and websites. Instead, check more reliable sources and cross check from different travel guides. Depending on where the resort is, inquire with AAA, and local and national travel bureaus as well as reputable travel agents. Sometimes small boutique hotels are owned by larger hotel chains which can ensure some safety in their legitimacy.

3. Don’t be afraid to ask for extras and special treatment. From the time that you book your travel until the time you leave, be sure to mention that you are on your honeymoon. You may get a lot of little extras from the management, small upgrades to better rooms or views, better tables in the restaurant, champagne and desserts left on your bed or special treats at turn-down time. The one thing that isn’t done too much anymore is an upgrade to first-class on planes. Three recently married friends all reported that the option wasn’t available and they were told explicitly, it wasn’t done much anymore on planes. BAH. Wait until you get to the resort and brag all you want, it should pay off at least a little.

4. Don’t get too caught up in the room descriptions. Sometimes terminology can be misleading — as can room size. Those pictures are taken at angles to make the rooms look much larger than they often are. Read all of the details and remember that “ocean view” doesn’t mean “ocean front”. If websites are not clear, call and ask.

A … A-line skirt. Invented in the 1960s, it refers to a skirt that is slightly flared at the bottom, creating a very nice line for many body types.

B … Best Man: the term given to the head male assisting the groom in a wedding. In current times, a best man is generally responsible for planning a bachelor party, helping on the wedding day, holding the rings during the ceremony and providing friendly moral support to the groom and the couple.

C … Cut, Color, Carat, and Clarity The cour C’s of a diamond. Cut refers to the shape of the diamond, is it round, oval, pear shaped or emerald cut (rectangle). Color refers to the clearness of the diamond. Not all diamonds are alike. In fact, they are ranked on a scale of color from D to Z. But, for a ring, color usually only goes up to about a J. Anything higher and the stone will have a deeper yellowish to brown color. It is still a diamond, just not a clear diamond.

D … Diamond Engagement Ring

E … Engagement! The average first marriage engagement lasts 9-12 months and the average second marriage engagement lasts anywhere from three to six months.

F … Flowers! Most wedding ceremonies have many flowers as decorations. People use fresh, silk and dried flowers of all different colors and textures to create relaxing, romantic atmospheres for their wedding ceremonies. When it comes to choosing wedding flowers, the sky is truly the limit. You can spend as little as a few hundred to as much as thousands.

G … Guests. GUESTS. Guests can make a wedding the party that you want it to be. They give gifts and come to celebrate with you. They cost you the bulk of your wedding budget in food and alcohol and too often people decorate just to amuse the guests. Without guests, you really don’t have a wedding. It’s a catch-22. This article here talks about how to be a good guest, in a not-too-patronizing kind of way. This one here talks about what NOT to do, as a guest.

H … Honeymoon!!

I … Investment. Consider investing some of your wedding gifts so you can create a nest egg or just a small savings for household projects or future vacations.

J … Jewelery. In many cultures married people wear a wedding band as a sign that they are married. For many, this is as simple as a solid metal band made of gold, platinum, silver or titanium. Others prefer a fancier approach and their rings include diamonds and other stones. To see some modern day matching band sets, click here. And, to read about why should NOT take your ring off, ever really, but in public, click here. And read all the way to the bottom for ring cleaning instructions.

K … Kippot, or, yarmulke. In a Jewish wedding you will see the groom and all male guests wearing a head covering called a kippot.

L … Love. Don’t marry someone unless you really do love them. Marriage is not easy at times. Loving the person unconditionally will truly help in the tough times and make the good times even better.

M … Marriage. Wikipedia says marriage is an interpersonal relationship with government, social and religious recognition. Huh.

N … Nuptial. Nuptial is the adjective of Wedding. According to Wikipedia, it is used more in zoology to refer to mating season coupling, however, nuptials are also a marriage ceremony.

O … Outdoor weddings. Outside weddings are increasingly common and are a lot of fun. Usually reserved for the warm-weather months and more common in areas where the scenery is worth celebrating and can be incorporated as decoration in and of itself. Beach weddings, water-front weddings, boat-ride weddings, English-tea garden weddings are all very common wedding experiences.

P … Petals. Rose petals. Consider sprucing up your ceremony site by having rose petals line your aisle. It is a relatively inexpensive way to add some romantic detail to your ceremony site.

Q … Queen! At least you are for one day, so be sure to act like it! Remember that this is your wedding day. And you only get one. You have spent a lot of time planning and dreaming about this day, not to mention you have spent a lot of money on this day too. It is OKAY to be a little demanding and expect that people will put aside petty issues and just celebrate with you. Keep this in mind when dealing with annoying relatives and unruly vendors. You are paying the vendors to do a job for you and you have a right to expect that things be done according to plan and on time. From family members, you have a right to expect that they will put aside petty differences for a few hours for your sake. If they don’t, ask them to deal with these issues tomorrow because you would like the party to be a party.

R … Royal Doulton. Creators of china patterns and casual tableware.

S … Square Diamond.
Or, Princess Cut, as it is commonly referred to as is a very common style of engagement ring.

T … Tuxedo. Most men get married in a tuxedo. The most formal of men’s suits, tuxedos are easy and affordable to rent from a number of local and nationwide stores. Plan ahead and choose a tuxedo style and pattern about four months prior to your wedding so that all the groomsmen and fathers have time to get fitted and secure their rentals.

U … Unwind. Be sure to take some time prior to your wedding to spend some relaxing time with your family. It’s a special time and it will help you relax and focus on your big day ahead.

V … Vera Wang. Not only making dresses these days, Vera Wang has a line of household goods including china, silver and glassware.

W … Winnie Couture

X … X-tras! Be sure to keep an eye out for extras in your wedding planning. Ask all your vendors if they have seasonal specials or even reduced prices for holding your event at less popular times, like Sunday afternoons, Friday evenings and after a holiday weekend.

Y … Yolanda Couture.

Z … Zzzzz…… Sleep! Be sure to get some sleep the night before your wedding. It will help you keep going strong all day and make you feel better too. If you haven’t gotten much rest during your months spent wedding planning, be sure to plan a relaxing honeymoon where you can get plenty of rest. On a beach, in a hammock, on a boat, in the sun, in bed on a rainy afternoon …. many couples spend the first day or so of their honeymoon catching up on much needed rest.

If you are nearing the exciting almost-two-digit countdown, there are some very important and not too hard things to be considering and scheduling.

Unfortunately, so many of the planning and wedding shopping falls on the woman. But, guys! You can help out. Offer to make phone calls and go to meetings with vendors, take notes, and help keep a budget spreadsheet and just be supportive and offer your input. Chances are your bride-to-be does want you opinion and wants to be sure you are going to be happy with the wedding day.

At about ONE HUNDRED days from your wedding you should be deciding on what jewelry you will wear, identifying and buying shoes. Plan a few hours when you can wear the shoes indoors to break them in and make sure they don’t rub your feet the wrong way. If they do, you’ll know where to put the protective band-aid on the big day.

You should also be looking for a hair and make-up professional if you are going to have it done. Many stylists will come to you on your wedding day. If you don’t know where to start looking for stylists ask friends and coworkers if they know of someone who does that work or someone who recently got married. Ask your hairdresser or nail technician, ask at dress shops and ask other wedding vendors. I have several fabulous vendors and I was very careful to introduce them to each other because wedding vendors have an incredible network. You can also look on the bulletin boards of wedding websites, such as TheKnot.com.

At this point you and your fiancée should have agreed on a honeymoon locale and be in the process of booking and making reservations. It is usually recommended to do this about five to seven months prior to the wedding, but the time of year and season will greatly impact the rates that are available and how far in advance you should make plans.

wedding hair, hair styles, 100 days away, three months before the wedding, honeymoon plans, reservations

Manhattan Bride is featuring a contest to win a honeymoon to St.John.

Click here for details about how to enter.

The application? Tell a funny or cute story about your finance.

Good Luck!

I just checked my credit card statement online. It’s part of my OCD, I can’t seem to wait until the bill comes in the mail. I don’t like the shock of opening a bill larger than I remember spending, but, for some reason, if I find out online, somehow, maybe, there is a fluke, and the smack of a large credit card bill is somehow less if I see the totals online first.

Anyway….

I noticed last night that our honeymoon resort charged me an extra $400. In a separate charge, totally separate from the other charge that I signed for and have a receipt for. Oh, and this extra charge came through a week after we got back home.

Marc is calling right now, but I am SO not happy. Seriously, without that extra burden, I’d be telling you how fabulous the place was. If they refund the charge IMMEDIATELY, I will tell you how wonderful everything was, otherwise, behold the power of an unsolicited review!

The moral of this story is: Use credit cards because you have a better paper trail of your receipts and if a company overcharges you and won’t refund your money, you can talk to the credit card company to help you dispute charges.

credit cards, honeymoon expenses

My wedding is over.

I have been married for eleven days.

I have honeymooned and returned to the eye-ticking, irritating pace of having to go back to work tomorrow.

My wedding was very totally awesome! All my planning was well worthwhile. I had more fun that I ever expected to have. I ate my entire dinner. I danced a hell of a lot! There were kisses and hugs and dancing and the cake was so damn good - and you know so many times wedding cakes just taste like cardboard.

I am full of positive experiences and lessons learned and assvice from an amateur-turned-pro. No seriously. I’m not going to write about how I have had a wedding therefore I KNOW weddings. I am going to spend the next few weeks writing about my wedding, my planning experiences, my lessons learned, with the hope that it helps someone else. I will tell stories and post pictures and share my emotions of the day, the days before the wedding and the honeymoon - from planning it to what to expect and how much time to allow between international connections on American Airlines when traveling through Miami Airport. GOD.

Before my wedding I used certain days of the week to write certain topics and I wasn’t so thrilled with that. I’ve been feeling too confined and there were times when I wasn’t able to write what I wanted because I couldn’t make it work with a Trend or Tradition or Question-Answer.

I will leave you now with some pictures. If you are getting married before I am able to post of all of my lessons learned, most of all … have fun. I cannot emphasize this enough. And I know you are rolling your eyes at me because! Of course you will have fun at your wedding. In the hours leading up to your wedding, there is not much you can do. The flowers will or will not show up. The cake will or will not be delivered. Most likely, your guests are in town and are getting dressed for the event or taking a much needed nap. I suppose this all works well with careful pre-wedding planning.

I will also talk a lot about what people told me, especially the bold-lettered articles in all the seventeen pound magazines that consist of five hundred pages of advertisements and three articles that say: Make your wedding reflect your personal style and taste. What if you don’t know your personal style? I thought I did, but as time went on I learned a lot more about myself. I will share the details of what worked for me. Scheduling, vendor relationships, travel, timetables, family issues, ohmyholyhell, the family issues!

I am thrilled to be married. I really am. Marc and I spent at least three days calling each other “wife” and “husband”. We were giddy with what we had just done. We still are. Each day still feels sort of new. We have lived together for two years, owned a house together for six months, gotten pregnant a month before the wedding, but, this does feel new. There is a higher level of commitment and authority and respect and a whole new awesome sense of belonging to each other, our new family, and our old respective families. Speaking of the “new” … I will make sure I spend an entire entry on the issue of name changing. I am totally in the middle of changing my name right now. My new social security card is in the mail. My bank knows me as Stacy Kravitz. But, I can still deposit checks made out to Stacy Ochsman. WTF?

Oh! My ceremony. Amazing. Beautiful.

Surprises? Nothing bad I can think of.

Good? One of our best friends made a video of our entire ceremony and reception. We haven’t seen it yet, but we had no idea he was going to do this.

I have many details to share and hopefully, many readers to re-lure.

Pictures? Anyone…?

And finally … some of the fun,

Dear Loyal Readers and not-so-loyal readers (aka: lurkers),

I apologize for the lack of postings and the short postings that I attempted to make into something cohesive. I regret dropping the ball on you and the ongoing themes I discuss here. But, life really got in the way. As I write this I’m reminded how much I enjoy blogging and as soon as my wedding and honeymoon are over, I promise to return full force with total wedding gusto!

However, for now, my wedding day has just about arrived! I traveled from Maryland to Florida this morning, rented a car, drove an hour, had a dress fitting, and then worked on a million and one details and … I’m actually feeling really good about everything and I wanted to mention a few things I have learned, just today!

I have always heard that you should mention to everyone and anyone that you are on your honeymoon, or that something is for your wedding, as you never know when a free upgrade is right around the corner. Well! No kidding! It does work!!

I arrived at the airport this morning at around 8:45am. I reported to Marc that I would carry all of my bags. He laughed and went to get a Smarte Carte. While he was twenty feet away from me, I opened the trunk and said very loudly in open-jawed fashion, I have FOUR BAGS!? And, ya’ll? That’s four CHECKED bags, not counting the purse and backpack as carry-on.

I loaded up the cart and wheeled myself through the line at the Southwest counter. I was smiling from ear to ear, thinking, I’m leaving town for my wedding! The only thing potentially spoiling the mood was the man behind me whose idea of personal space was something akin to the stampede at Best Buy when they open the doors at 3am on Christmas Eve to sell Wii machines for five dollars to the first seven people inside the door.

When I got to the counter, I was very pleasant and friendly, cause, you know, if you didn’t notice yet, I’m going to my wedding! I then decided to make a joke out of myself, there is no way I’m going to get away with checking FOUR damn bags.

I handed the lady my credit card and then told her that I only travel this light when I’m going to my wedding. She laughed and handed me back my credit card and said, “Consider it an early wedding gift, congratulations.” Free. Totally escaped a $50 per bag charge for my extra two bags. SCORE!

At this point I decided that whoring myself for free and discounted wedding items was beyond worthwhile.

I later shamelessly flirted with the car rental attendant and it got me an awesome blue convertible Mustang and some heavy duty pats on the back to my ego - the *dude totally fell all over himself telling me how lucky my finance was and how sad it was that I was going to be off the market. I told him I was sending a sympathy card and that men all over creation would manage somehow now that I’m almost officially “taken”.

Speaking of “taken” … I’m looking forward to it. I had a brief moment today, and I do mean brief, because mainly, I didn’t actually time to think for myself. The passing idea of how did I get here? Am I sure? What am I doing? But it passed and I really am excited and thrilled to be moving forward with my life with Marc. I honestly do not have any cold feet.

*Rich - Wink Wink!!

I just completed my third and final planning weekend in Florida.

This weekend I got my marriage license. Basically, I COULD take it to any justice of the peace in Florida’s Manatee County and get married at any moment. Or, I will wait until May 20.

Marc got measured for his tuxedo. I had another dress fitting. We met with our Rabbi and put together our ceremony which is really nice and we are really excited for that part.

I still have many schedules and lists and plans to put together. I have to talk with our photographers and our DJ to go over some specifics. At this point in the planning, we are just ready for the event to be here. We want our big day! I’m tired of planning. Tired of worrying. Tired of debating and tired of costs. We just want to get married and be with the people we care about most in the world. We really don’t care what the centerpieces look like. We just. want. to. be. married.

And … on our way to Jamaica!

Twenty-three days ago I decided to document each of the next 127 days with a photo of myself that was most likely taken by myself. It was one of those ideas that was better put together inside my head than out. This doesn’t make for great variety among photos. But yeah me! I lasted a whopping six days.

I thought it was a good idea. I had it all set up here in Flickr. But. Then. It just didn’t seem so interesting anymore.

One hundred and four. One hundred and four days left as a
single person.
never married person.
girl.
blogger.
executive assistant.
friend.
daughter.
volunteer who quit because she was so stressed she had a wee little nervous-break-down.
bride.
bride-to-be.*
cranky depressed xanax whore?
person with multiple thousands of dollars in a bank account waiting to be emptied.

Yeah. So. I have all these changing and upcoming roles. I’ll still be a daughter and perhaps I’ll return to being a volunteer. I’ll be a wife. I’m excited to be a wife.

On a recent visit with my therapist she was very worried that I was just planning on becoming “Marc’s Wife”. While I never gave it too much thought, becoming Marc’s Wife is something I want. A lot. I’ve wanted it for a long time and I know I will love every minute, well, more like most minutes of it. This therapist was very worried about my “roles” … so I decided that if she who gets paid $140 an hour thinks this, then I need to worry about it too, ’cause, durr! I totally do NOT have enough things to worry about.

One hundred and four days is exactly three and a half months. I have to start making a calendar of when FINAL payments are due. I wasn’t even aware that I had made all my INITIAL deposits yet.

1. Honeymoon final payment, due April 4.
2. Final head count to UPCC, April 20.

My thoughts?

1. Holy mother of all that good and pure how did it come up so fast!
2. BREATHE! BREATHE!
3. B.R.E.A.T.H.E.

I really am not concerned that I will lose my identity or forget who I am. These past few weeks have been excruciatingly difficult thanks to some unexpected depression and roaring anxiety, most likely due to the fact that is was a very dark January and I know I am susceptible to SAD and that simple fact that I do have a little issue with anxiety and have for many years. I suppose being a “wife” will NOT erase that little hash mark of life. I stopped getting excited about taking my “wedding countdown” pictures because I wasn’t excited to see myself. And? Each consecutive day I was looking more and more pathetic and disheveled.

At one hundred and four days we have a “date” to sit down with my parents on holy crapola day NINETY-SEVEN.

BREATHE.

DEEPLY.

I’m going to reinstate the Wedding Countdown Photo Gallery just as soon as I don’t look like I just saw a ghost.

It also helps me that the catering coordinator at my country club told me that if I was behind schedule she would for sure be letting me know. But just in case, I’m adding five more pocket-divider tabs to my already too full notebook tomorrow when I sit down and work on my five page Excel spreadsheet that I’m using to track the guest list and whether or not they want fish, chicken or pasta primavera.

The point of all this is that as a wedding approaches; one is massively stressed, physically, emotionally and mentally. There is no real escape. The anticipation of my actual wedding is something like when I was twelve years old and actually did a countdown to the end of school for the summer. I’m like! That excited! I’m also very anxious to get all my reply cards back so I can plan each and every little detail.

So in that case, I *might* need a few extra days.

* I doubt there is an actual difference between these two words.

A couple of readers have asked about my honeymoon so I thought I’d share with you how I came to settle on Jamaica.

I first talked about the intricacies of a Bridal Expo a few weeks back, but in truth, a Bridal Expo is a great place to get information, if you know what you need and want and aren’t afraid to ask for that specifically.

I was totally overwhelmed being among several hundred brides all at once, mainly because until that moment, I was thoroughly convinced that I was the ONLY bride in the entire world right now and it all revolves around me.

So, you can see how this might have been a shock, no?

I found several honeymoon travel agents right away and dove in with a list of questions about our vacation goals.

We knew we wanted:
1. Caribbean somewhere because it is easy travel from Florida (wedding location, even though we live in Maryland).
2. Sun & Sand
3. A low-key resort, preferably no kids
4. Food and Rum
5. Some nature activities, nothing intense, maybe a hike
6. DEFINITELY horseback riding on the beach (just me)
7. hopefully *keeping fingers crossed* a hammock in which to take daily naps!
8. Excellent service, with a smile
I knew of a few top ranked Caribbean resorts and started asking about those places right away, most of them came in close to ten thousand dollars and that was way more than we were willing to spend. Although, if it was totally my choice, I’d spend a thousand on the wedding and $10,000 on the honeymoon, because that is the special just-married time. Plus, I know I’ll never spend or pamper myself like that again.

But, realistically, of course, first step: SET A BUDGET. But! Be a little flexible. Have a price range and work within that to find a place that gets you most of what you want for the best price possible. Negotiate and talk to a lot of travel agents because just when you think you might have the best deal, you just may get the same thing for seven hundred dollars less!

We settled on Ocho Rios, Jamaica after talking with several travel agents. One agent kept telling me how much she KNEW I would love this other place that did not meet anything listed above in numbers 1 through 8. But, it did have beds totally out in the open and you sleep under mosquito nets! Ick! I might be a little outdoorsy, but I DO NOT WANT bugs near me on my honeymoon. Thus, you can see how important communication is with a travel agent. For the most part, you don’t ever pay a travel agent. They get paid by resorts to direct people there. Just make sure someone has you best interest in mind, if you are using an agent.