Wedding Tactics

Cupcakes! Again, I know. I promise I won’t mention the sugary side of weddings again for at least a week. I just stumbled onto a new site that has THE most adorable wedding cupcakes and I got some great ideas from looking at these little sugary floury creations.

These cakes are THEME cakes, so hear me out on this one:

Do you and your guy play scrabble? Are you both writers? PhDs in English Literature? How about a Scrabble cake? You can choose a full size cake, or CUPCAKES and note the cookie on the side. There’s your favor!

Are you getting married in Washington, DC in April? Celebrate the Cherry Blossoms that the Nation’s Capital is so well known for in the Spring with this Cherry Blossom Cake.

Are you looking for a slight Eastern influence in your wedding, do you like the Cherry Blossom cake but thinks it needs something more to tie it into your theme, how about with the double happiness symbol? Or …in a different color?

This baker also makes a Star Wars cupcake with light sabers on top for the real effect.

Consider this in place of a groom’s cake for the real Star Wars fan, or if you are both fans, serve these as a sugary mid-reception dance-pick-me-up. Also, some bakers will make you mini-cupcakes for this purpose too. At a wedding last fall they served a little cup of sorbet between dinner and the cake. It was a nice refreshing touch.

These cakes are from The Pink Cake Box located in Denville, New Jersey.

Simply Stated recently featured some adorable little wedding cupcakes in an article discussing the rising popularity of cupcakes as a wedding cake. Old fashioned wedding cakes are still the norm and are in their glory, gorgeous artistic works of sugar and flour. However, if you are looking for a way to simplify, scale down, price down or just be different or more resourceful, consider a wedding cake of cupcakes.

If you choose to do it on your own a cupcake tree can be purchased at any craft store and you can essentially build your own cupcake CAKE.
When you serve cupcakes instead of actual cake you can have many flavors, not just one. Usually a bride and groom will have one layer of actual cake to cut through for the tradition of “cutting the cake”. If you are interested in this option, discuss it with your baker. Less material is used so cupcakes are also less expensive than a traditional cake.

These Ron Ben-Israel individual wedding cake cupcakes are most likely NOT cheaper than a traditional cake because of the detail involved in designing each cake. Ron Ben-Israel cakes are truly pieces of art. Gorgeous and delicious they are truly sugar masterpieces.

Cupcake Royale located in Seattle, Washington is better suited for the average wedding couple looking to serve cupcakes. The lemon drop is one of MANY flavors and color options offered.

If you choose to DIY, Estillo Weddings offers decorative cupcake papers in many designs, including palm trees, a picket fence and lace.

What kind of cake did you serve at your wedding? Would you recommend your baker? Please leave a comment and let us know!

I’ve been writing for Wedding Tactics for a full year now. When I started maintaining this site I didn’t know what it would become and how long I’d be writing. In fact, at the time, 451 Press was still just getting off the ground. In fact, its been pretty amazing watching the network grow along with my site.

My first posting discussed the differences between a marriage and a wedding. The first few months following this entry I used the planning of my own wedding as a guide for what to write about.

A few times I mentioned the issues in gaining a new set of parents and specifically, the mother-in-law.

I wrote a lot about dresses and veils and accessories.
And for a few months I had featured columns on certain days of the week, Trends on Tuesday and Traditions Thursday. I used these headlines as a means to explain traditions like the tossing of the garter.

April was a very popular month on this site. My stats went thru the roof, but that was a very popular wedding time of year. I get asked frequently about the Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue thing. The meaning and its history are detailed here.

One of my all-time favorite posting was about what guests should wear to a wedding. I noticed during the Spring months that several clothing stores were featuring lines of dresses for wedding guests. This is a good guide to style options depending on the wedding venue.

I got married in May. Then, I started a new job in June and my postings got a bit less frequent for awhile. Meanwhile, I did profile some great summer wedding themes.

As the year went on I tried to focus on all the different issues surrounding weddings, including mens clothing, or, tuxedos and a few funny stories too, like this one about a guy who lost his wedding ring.

And, finally, the most recent repeating column, Wedding Tactics: On Location, features vendors and venues in random cities. By featuring actual wedding business providers across the nation, I hope that readers from all states will be attracted to read and follow along and also to ask questions and participate in the Wedding Tactics dialogue. The On-Location feature can be seen here, here and here. And also here.

Thanks to all the readers who made this a successful year for me and 451 Press. I look forward to another even better year here.

Happy New Year!

Cakediva.com has a great website with extensive cake galleries. The extensive press and client list includes Geraldo Rivera, Bride Magazine and MTV.

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Posh Nosh Catering located in Raleigh, North Carolina serves the entire Triangle area. They have a diverse catering menu featuring a variety of real foods dressed up just elegantly enough for your wedding. The will create custom menus for your event!

Ruthie’s Wedding Cake’s and Desserts in Columbus, Ohio will deliver cakes anywhere in Ohio and free delivery is available in Franklin County.

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A … A-line skirt. Invented in the 1960s, it refers to a skirt that is slightly flared at the bottom, creating a very nice line for many body types.

B … Best Man: the term given to the head male assisting the groom in a wedding. In current times, a best man is generally responsible for planning a bachelor party, helping on the wedding day, holding the rings during the ceremony and providing friendly moral support to the groom and the couple.

C … Cut, Color, Carat, and Clarity The cour C’s of a diamond. Cut refers to the shape of the diamond, is it round, oval, pear shaped or emerald cut (rectangle). Color refers to the clearness of the diamond. Not all diamonds are alike. In fact, they are ranked on a scale of color from D to Z. But, for a ring, color usually only goes up to about a J. Anything higher and the stone will have a deeper yellowish to brown color. It is still a diamond, just not a clear diamond.

D … Diamond Engagement Ring

E … Engagement! The average first marriage engagement lasts 9-12 months and the average second marriage engagement lasts anywhere from three to six months.

F … Flowers! Most wedding ceremonies have many flowers as decorations. People use fresh, silk and dried flowers of all different colors and textures to create relaxing, romantic atmospheres for their wedding ceremonies. When it comes to choosing wedding flowers, the sky is truly the limit. You can spend as little as a few hundred to as much as thousands.

G … Guests. GUESTS. Guests can make a wedding the party that you want it to be. They give gifts and come to celebrate with you. They cost you the bulk of your wedding budget in food and alcohol and too often people decorate just to amuse the guests. Without guests, you really don’t have a wedding. It’s a catch-22. This article here talks about how to be a good guest, in a not-too-patronizing kind of way. This one here talks about what NOT to do, as a guest.

H … Honeymoon!!

I … Investment. Consider investing some of your wedding gifts so you can create a nest egg or just a small savings for household projects or future vacations.

J … Jewelery. In many cultures married people wear a wedding band as a sign that they are married. For many, this is as simple as a solid metal band made of gold, platinum, silver or titanium. Others prefer a fancier approach and their rings include diamonds and other stones. To see some modern day matching band sets, click here. And, to read about why should NOT take your ring off, ever really, but in public, click here. And read all the way to the bottom for ring cleaning instructions.

K … Kippot, or, yarmulke. In a Jewish wedding you will see the groom and all male guests wearing a head covering called a kippot.

L … Love. Don’t marry someone unless you really do love them. Marriage is not easy at times. Loving the person unconditionally will truly help in the tough times and make the good times even better.

M … Marriage. Wikipedia says marriage is an interpersonal relationship with government, social and religious recognition. Huh.

N … Nuptial. Nuptial is the adjective of Wedding. According to Wikipedia, it is used more in zoology to refer to mating season coupling, however, nuptials are also a marriage ceremony.

O … Outdoor weddings. Outside weddings are increasingly common and are a lot of fun. Usually reserved for the warm-weather months and more common in areas where the scenery is worth celebrating and can be incorporated as decoration in and of itself. Beach weddings, water-front weddings, boat-ride weddings, English-tea garden weddings are all very common wedding experiences.

P … Petals. Rose petals. Consider sprucing up your ceremony site by having rose petals line your aisle. It is a relatively inexpensive way to add some romantic detail to your ceremony site.

Q … Queen! At least you are for one day, so be sure to act like it! Remember that this is your wedding day. And you only get one. You have spent a lot of time planning and dreaming about this day, not to mention you have spent a lot of money on this day too. It is OKAY to be a little demanding and expect that people will put aside petty issues and just celebrate with you. Keep this in mind when dealing with annoying relatives and unruly vendors. You are paying the vendors to do a job for you and you have a right to expect that things be done according to plan and on time. From family members, you have a right to expect that they will put aside petty differences for a few hours for your sake. If they don’t, ask them to deal with these issues tomorrow because you would like the party to be a party.

R … Royal Doulton. Creators of china patterns and casual tableware.

S … Square Diamond.
Or, Princess Cut, as it is commonly referred to as is a very common style of engagement ring.

T … Tuxedo. Most men get married in a tuxedo. The most formal of men’s suits, tuxedos are easy and affordable to rent from a number of local and nationwide stores. Plan ahead and choose a tuxedo style and pattern about four months prior to your wedding so that all the groomsmen and fathers have time to get fitted and secure their rentals.

U … Unwind. Be sure to take some time prior to your wedding to spend some relaxing time with your family. It’s a special time and it will help you relax and focus on your big day ahead.

V … Vera Wang. Not only making dresses these days, Vera Wang has a line of household goods including china, silver and glassware.

W … Winnie Couture

X … X-tras! Be sure to keep an eye out for extras in your wedding planning. Ask all your vendors if they have seasonal specials or even reduced prices for holding your event at less popular times, like Sunday afternoons, Friday evenings and after a holiday weekend.

Y … Yolanda Couture.

Z … Zzzzz…… Sleep! Be sure to get some sleep the night before your wedding. It will help you keep going strong all day and make you feel better too. If you haven’t gotten much rest during your months spent wedding planning, be sure to plan a relaxing honeymoon where you can get plenty of rest. On a beach, in a hammock, on a boat, in the sun, in bed on a rainy afternoon …. many couples spend the first day or so of their honeymoon catching up on much needed rest.

According to a Chicago wedding website, cocktails are common to serve at wedding receptions. It is an extra nice thing to do for your guests. During the cocktail hour, consider have one special mixed drink passed, one drink per person. The drink can be a piece of your theme. If it is a mid-winter wedding, consider the Warm Kisses drink, a summer-night wedding, serve a Sultry Night.

Here are some drink ideas and the recipes.

Love Blooms
.75 oz. Cointreau
.75 oz. Chambord
Chilled champagne
Fill a chilled wineglass halfway with ice. Add Cointreau and Chambord. Fill with champagne and stir, then garnish with an edible flower petal or a candied swizzle stick.
Fun and Fab: Personalize wine or champagne glasses with wine charms telling a short story about how you fell in love or about your first date. Serve these tasty “blooms� on trays laden with fresh flowers.

Sultry Nights
1 oz. Southern Comfort
1 oz. coconut rum
1 oz. pineapple juice
1 oz. cranberry juice
Mix ingredients together and serve it “up� (shaken and poured into a martini glass) or “on the rocks� (over ice in a highball). Garnish with an orange peel and a miniature fan!
Fun and Fab: Serve these sultry concoctions on trays decorated with exotic, colorful silk and tulle fabrics with elaborate beading. To further set the mood, put your bar under a ceiling fan and decorate with a canopy.

A Spicy Pear of a Pair!
2 parts vodka
1 part pear liqueur
Shake and stir. Then, pour into a chilled martini glass and garnish with slices of pear or a swirled pear rind.
Fun and Fab: Add matching drink charms to every pair of glasses, and encourage guests to find their “matching drink charm� and “pair up� for a first dance.

Warm Kisses
.75 oz. Captain Morgan Spiced Rum
.5 oz. Godiva® dark chocolate liqueur
3.5 oz. espresso coffee
2.5 oz. steamed whipped milk
Add first three ingredients to a heated mug and stir. Add steamed whipped milk, then garnish with dark chocolate shavings, chocolate sprinkles or powdered cocoa.
Fun and Fab: Personalize your mugs with engagement photos, family photos, witty sayings, or anything else fun and creative. Serve these warm drinks on a bar laden with Hersheys® Kisses—and encourage your guests to take their mugs home!

If you are also going to serve wine with dinner, visit Wine Outlook for some important details about chosing the right wine for your food.

Just because you have a cocktail early in the evening doesn’t mean you don’t need wine later!

drinks and drink recipies are courtesy of Chicago Style Wedding.

Eeek! It has been way too long since an actual posting, but, ya’ll, I swear to ya I was out doing field research.

Really!

I went to a wedding this weekend in Philadelphia. Out in the suburbs at the Green Valley Country Club. It was quite elegant, sophisticated and very traditional and well put together. I am pretty sure the bride had significant planning assistance from her mother, but that is neither here nor there. While these people are my friends, I can’t critique the wedding as I would if I didn’t know them, but I do honestly think everything went off quite well and without a hitch. I don’t know the reasoning behind certain things, so I will just give my opinions as an outsider looking in.

The wedding was scheduled for 7:30 on Saturday evening which gave me, a guest plenty of time to get sunburned all afternoon sitting by the pool. I did appreciate the down time, but I think a staple in the hotel gift bag should be sunscreen!

The ceremony began on time, inside in half of the main ballroom. The other half was already set up for the dinner to follow. This is one of the main drawbacks, if you will, of having a country club wedding where you have the ceremony and reception both indoors. If you are using the same room for both parts of the wedding, you will have to provide a cocktail hour for guests so that the staff can do a quick set-up change from ceremony to reception. This is common and places are accustomed to doing this, but be aware that the staff may be setting up the tables and decor, not the florist.

There was a wedding band, and in all honesty, they were the best wedding band I have ever heard. I do imagine that came at quite a cost, however, I had a DJ at my wedding so I cannot compare. If you are having a wedding in the Philly area and are interested in knowing who this band is, please email me, I will happily find out for you.

The cocktail hour food was wuite impressive, a crudite and cracker table, a lamb and roast beef table, a quesadilla stand, and many salads interspersed. Also, top shelf liquor too, including Mt. Gay Rum and Ketel One Vodka. All 220 guests were pleased.

Dinner was equally fabulous, filet mignon and a very good crab cake served over some fabulous risotto. There was a dessert served on top of wedding cake.

The bride and groom sat at a sweetheart table covered in rose petals and mini-centerpieces. The bride even changed shoes mid-reception opting for some glass-slipper look-alike Stuart Weitzman mary janes.

This was definitely a high end wedding, and quite fun to attend.

Tall centerpiece.

Low Centerpiece.

Small accents on every table surrounding the main centerpiece. Oh! And fancy linens too!

green valley country club, philadelphia, wedding, centerpiece, jewish

My wedding is over.

I have been married for eleven days.

I have honeymooned and returned to the eye-ticking, irritating pace of having to go back to work tomorrow.

My wedding was very totally awesome! All my planning was well worthwhile. I had more fun that I ever expected to have. I ate my entire dinner. I danced a hell of a lot! There were kisses and hugs and dancing and the cake was so damn good - and you know so many times wedding cakes just taste like cardboard.

I am full of positive experiences and lessons learned and assvice from an amateur-turned-pro. No seriously. I’m not going to write about how I have had a wedding therefore I KNOW weddings. I am going to spend the next few weeks writing about my wedding, my planning experiences, my lessons learned, with the hope that it helps someone else. I will tell stories and post pictures and share my emotions of the day, the days before the wedding and the honeymoon - from planning it to what to expect and how much time to allow between international connections on American Airlines when traveling through Miami Airport. GOD.

Before my wedding I used certain days of the week to write certain topics and I wasn’t so thrilled with that. I’ve been feeling too confined and there were times when I wasn’t able to write what I wanted because I couldn’t make it work with a Trend or Tradition or Question-Answer.

I will leave you now with some pictures. If you are getting married before I am able to post of all of my lessons learned, most of all … have fun. I cannot emphasize this enough. And I know you are rolling your eyes at me because! Of course you will have fun at your wedding. In the hours leading up to your wedding, there is not much you can do. The flowers will or will not show up. The cake will or will not be delivered. Most likely, your guests are in town and are getting dressed for the event or taking a much needed nap. I suppose this all works well with careful pre-wedding planning.

I will also talk a lot about what people told me, especially the bold-lettered articles in all the seventeen pound magazines that consist of five hundred pages of advertisements and three articles that say: Make your wedding reflect your personal style and taste. What if you don’t know your personal style? I thought I did, but as time went on I learned a lot more about myself. I will share the details of what worked for me. Scheduling, vendor relationships, travel, timetables, family issues, ohmyholyhell, the family issues!

I am thrilled to be married. I really am. Marc and I spent at least three days calling each other “wife” and “husband”. We were giddy with what we had just done. We still are. Each day still feels sort of new. We have lived together for two years, owned a house together for six months, gotten pregnant a month before the wedding, but, this does feel new. There is a higher level of commitment and authority and respect and a whole new awesome sense of belonging to each other, our new family, and our old respective families. Speaking of the “new” … I will make sure I spend an entire entry on the issue of name changing. I am totally in the middle of changing my name right now. My new social security card is in the mail. My bank knows me as Stacy Kravitz. But, I can still deposit checks made out to Stacy Ochsman. WTF?

Oh! My ceremony. Amazing. Beautiful.

Surprises? Nothing bad I can think of.

Good? One of our best friends made a video of our entire ceremony and reception. We haven’t seen it yet, but we had no idea he was going to do this.

I have many details to share and hopefully, many readers to re-lure.

Pictures? Anyone…?

And finally … some of the fun,

Today I met with my coordinator at the country club where my wedding will be held this Sunday. I gave her total attendee numbers and total meal choice numbers.

Somehow, somewhere, someone cannot add, and it is NOT me. It is actually Microsoft’s Excel. It is Bill Gates’ fault. Alas, one guest asked to have fish instead of vegetarian. That means, PLUS one fish. MINUS one vegetarian. RIGHT!? But for now, we are definitely good enough for government,

I came home and told my mother-in-law asked me how things were going. Our conversation went like this:

MIL: How did it go?

ME: *smiles*

There comes a point in your planning when it is totally time to let go. It is not easy. Dear sweet lord, it is NOT easy. But, I know things will go fine, and if not, they will go fine enough.

Also? I picked up my dress tonight. It is hanging about ten feet away from me. It is pretty. It is FINAL. No more alterations. It is READY. I guess I AM really getting married in three days.

Formal weddings are back, ladies! I very much regret to be the one who has to inform you of this.

2007 is featuring a return to more formal wedding ceremonies and receptions. The only people more thrilled than Miss. Manners are the local tuxedo and formalwear rental stores. Couples are planning much more elegant receptions and parties than ever before.

To accompany these high-end weddings, brides are ensuring that their guests are entertained and awed at every moment, beginning with her walk down the aisle. For most of the ceremony, the bride is facing away from her audience. Therefore, expect to start seeing a lot of beading detail on the back of wedding gowns.

It is very important to remember that while I’m reporting this fancied-up wedding trend, it isn’t something I’m necessarily in favor of seeing. I, personally, think that too many weddings these days focus way too much on the superficial aspects; centerpieces, huge bridal parties, fancy food. The reality is that a wedding is a party, a type of celebration. There is only so much time for planning a wedding during your engagement. You can use this time to stress about the favors and cake decorations, or, you can get the wedding planned, and work on building your marriage.

{stepping OFF of soapbox}

However, a fancy party is a fun party! If a couple wants to have a black-tie affair, I say, go for it! Your wedding needs to be what you want it to be. Just keep in mind, that asking your guests to purchase new clothes and rent tuxedos will cut into the amounts they spend your gifts. Here I go, preaching my mode of moderation, yet again.

I encourage all brides who want an over-the-top looking wedding to consider and investigate all sorts of cost-cutting options. Price out silk flowers and use them in your ceremony so you can splurge on fresh flowers for your reception where guests will be sitting closer to the flowers. If you want the food to be a real dynamic but are worried about cost, consider skipping a cocktail hour and moving right from ceremony to reception where you can serve several plated courses of fancy, high-scale foods.

The options are endless… I will explore some more in depth and provide you with some handy tips … tomorrow.

Do you ever wonder how some wedding traditions began?

For example, have you ever heard of a Groom’s cake? Chances are, if you live in Maine or New York, you haven’t a clue as to what this extra cake thing is all about. But! If you live in Louisiana or Florida, chances are, you have already planned to have one at your wedding.

The Groom’s cake is a distinctly southern tradition.

Sometimes the cakes are very traditional and simple, others choose to take this tradition and be ultra-creative, designing cakes in all kinds of shapes and sizes to represent something important to the Groom, such as a certain sports team or hobby or even a city.

Some people say the origin is unclear, however originally, the groom’s cake was a fruitcake (BAH.) that was placed besides the Bride’s cake and late cut and boxed as a take home favor for the guests. There was and still exists a superstition that a bridesmaid should sleep with a slice of groom’s cake under her pillow to dream of her future husband.

Modern Groom’s cakes have taken on a new life. They are often chocolate to contract the white wedding cake, and they come in many designs and styles.

All of these cakes are courtesy of Fancy Cakes by Lauren is located in Dallas, Texas.

grooms cake, groom’s cake, Fancy Cakes by Lauren, wedding traditions, wedding cakes, fruitcake, southern wedding traditions

Weddings can put anyone into serious debt and too often, people let this happen. However … here are some great ways to spruce up your event and add some personal touches that will make even the most elite and snobby guest feel honored and entertained.

Instead of the traditional number on table, incorporate some aspect of your theme into your table names and name each table as such. Some couples will put pictures of themselves as children in small frames on the tables to give guests something reminiscent to look at and talk about. If you have an outdoor wedding with an English Garden theme, you can name the tables after flowers and garden plants, such as: Lavender, Lily of the Valley, Violet, Daffodil, Tulip, Rosemary and Daisy. You can even put one long stem of each flower on the table and create a room or patio of English garden flowers.

Make it personal! If one of you is a foodie, for example, name your tables after favorite dishes or food themes. Often a couple will choose to incorporate a favorite family recipe into the wedding meal. This gives an extra personal touch and more meaning to the meal. Guests will love learning about the couple’s likes and each other’s families.

Lavender makes a great centerpiece! If you put a small potted lavender in the center of the table, guests can take them home and plant them, or the couple or the parents can plant them in a garden as a reminder of the event. To avoid re-potting, buy some opaque colored plastic or cellophane wrap in the gift-wrap aisle and wrap the pots and tie with ribbon. Super nice and super cheap!

Traditional Italian wedding receptions begin with the bridal party and guests separated for an hour for a cocktail hour. While a buffet of food is served, the bride and groom take time for photographs in a relaxed, pretty setting.

Next, the guests all gather in the main dining room. The newlywed couple is introduced, the crowd of guests cheers and they couple has their first dance. They are soon joined by the bridal party and the guest. After a good amount of dancing, people take their seats and speeches are made my family and friends and the couple receives a champagne toast.

Much food is served and the band encourages people to dance between courses. This is very European in nature … they take their time eating. They do not rush. Each menu course is savored and enjoyed. Unlike at my wedding where I absolutely predict that the pigs-in-a-blanket appetizers will be the first to go.

Finally, the Venetian Hour, a more Sicilian custom, arrives and the couple cuts the cake. In most Italian weddings, the dessert course consists of many platters of pastries, fruit, coffees and cakes.

After dessert there is more dancing, gifts are given to the couple and guests can finally leave. In parts of Italy, mostly in the south, at the conclusion of the party, guest give the couple envelopes of money and the couple returns the courtesy with a wedding favor, a small token of thanks. However, in Northern Italy, a favor is given, but no money is exchanged.