Wedding Tactics

If you have already chosen a date for your wedding you know firsthand what a delicate little woven web it is to avoid offending people, trying to make people happy and manage to get married before the end of the decade. For all you recently engaged couples who are still “thinking it over” and “not yet settled on a date” … here are some tips, pitfalls to look out for and general complaints you can expect to hear.

The wedding over a holiday weekend debate meant that travel would be more expensive but people wouldn’t necessarily have to take as much time off from work. I thought I would feel guilty for taking someone’s intensely coveted three-day weekend. Although, in hindsight, I didn’t think much about it once the date was chosen and the invitations were in the mail. What seems huge today will be a faint memory tomorrow.

I got engaged in July, and I always knew I wanted a Fall wedding. That meant that we either had a wedding in December (yes, I know, not so much autumn anymore and also soon) … or we waited a year and a half.

I was not going to wait a year and a half.

Marc also said NO to December for that whole too soon reason. Men! If you can train for a marathon in four months; you can plan a wedding in four months.

When we finally decided where we wanted to get married, we just looked at the dates they had available and the openings began in early May. I did not want to get married on Mother’s Day or Memorial Day. May 20th was the earliest that our venue was available, so, that’s how we decided on our date.

I had friends beg me not to get married in December because they had another wedding to attend the week before, also in Florida and that would have been a lot of traveling for them.

My brother-in-law-to-be also asked me to move my wedding date, after I had put down a deposit, because his girlfriend’s sister was getting married the weekend before, and that’s just a lot of wedding-time for them. Sorry guys, you’ll get over it.

So much for my Fall wedding, or my December wedding.

We chose our date based on what was available at our venue. This was really just the beginning of the flexibility I would need to extend for wedding planning.

Just because you are having a Spring wedding doesn’t mean you have to have a pastel wedding. Pastel colors are a little muted and if you aren’t into them, don’t feel you have to use those colors just because of the Hallmark-esk association.

If you want an elegant and simple look, consider what this bride did, she had her maids wear a simple black cocktail dress that they could use again. Her flowers add the color. The dresses are shorter than most styles which alone gives the hint of warmer weather.

Dear Stacy: My fiancé and I are trying to pick the date for our wedding and I am having a slight dilemma. The church doesn’t have anything available this fall and we don’t want to wait until the fall of ‘09 so our next available option is May ‘09. I am not a huge fan of spring colors. I hate pastels. I love fall colors. Would it be tacky to use fall colors in the spring?

Colors are tricky and I feel your pain. There is a good solution to using out-of-season colors. Just because your wedding is happening in the Spring does not mean you must have Spring colors. Pastels can get a little tacky when overused, I agree.

I usually tend to answer a question of this nature with my typical attitude of it’s your wedding, do as you wish, but I will refrain because I think this is a rather relevant topic. My suggestion is this: Choose whatever colors you like, but use seasonal flowers. For examples, tulips in darker colors with the opposite being pastel roses in December. As long as your theme and colors flow, match and compliment correctly, your wedding will not look out of place.

You tell me that you like fall colors, so hypothetically, a deep red with gold accents. In the fall you might use roses and heavier fabrics and candles, to brighten up this display, I recommend the following: dark burgundy or red calla lilies and a gold candle in large hurricanes. This is of course, just a concept; I’m not too big on gold myself. Of course, there are brilliant oranges to consider in this color group too. As long as you don’t accent the table with leaves, you’ll be fine, instead, opt for the rose petals in the fall colors you like.

To avoid looking too “winter season� I would avoid mixing in greenery that would allude to a Christmassy-type design. Simple bouquets with the stems showing are not only modern but simple, elegant and timeless. Hence, the callas above, not the heavy bouquet on the left.

Also, be sure to carry your theme throughout the wedding, use your colors on your cake, on your tables, in the church, at the reception and it will be a complete image, rather than just punches of color that run the risk of looking out of season.

Tulips are in season in the Spring and they come in a large variety of colors and petal shapes which add texture, if that’s your thing. Here is a tulip bouquet that doesn’t scream FALL, at least not to me.

This tulip bouquet has a few strands of bear grass flowing from it, another timeless touch.

I’m not too familiar with uplighting, but if your reception room has solid walls, consider some uplighting to accent the colors and create a warmer room tone.

A … A-line skirt. Invented in the 1960s, it refers to a skirt that is slightly flared at the bottom, creating a very nice line for many body types.

B … Best Man: the term given to the head male assisting the groom in a wedding. In current times, a best man is generally responsible for planning a bachelor party, helping on the wedding day, holding the rings during the ceremony and providing friendly moral support to the groom and the couple.

C … Cut, Color, Carat, and Clarity The cour C’s of a diamond. Cut refers to the shape of the diamond, is it round, oval, pear shaped or emerald cut (rectangle). Color refers to the clearness of the diamond. Not all diamonds are alike. In fact, they are ranked on a scale of color from D to Z. But, for a ring, color usually only goes up to about a J. Anything higher and the stone will have a deeper yellowish to brown color. It is still a diamond, just not a clear diamond.

D … Diamond Engagement Ring

E … Engagement! The average first marriage engagement lasts 9-12 months and the average second marriage engagement lasts anywhere from three to six months.

F … Flowers! Most wedding ceremonies have many flowers as decorations. People use fresh, silk and dried flowers of all different colors and textures to create relaxing, romantic atmospheres for their wedding ceremonies. When it comes to choosing wedding flowers, the sky is truly the limit. You can spend as little as a few hundred to as much as thousands.

G … Guests. GUESTS. Guests can make a wedding the party that you want it to be. They give gifts and come to celebrate with you. They cost you the bulk of your wedding budget in food and alcohol and too often people decorate just to amuse the guests. Without guests, you really don’t have a wedding. It’s a catch-22. This article here talks about how to be a good guest, in a not-too-patronizing kind of way. This one here talks about what NOT to do, as a guest.

H … Honeymoon!!

I … Investment. Consider investing some of your wedding gifts so you can create a nest egg or just a small savings for household projects or future vacations.

J … Jewelery. In many cultures married people wear a wedding band as a sign that they are married. For many, this is as simple as a solid metal band made of gold, platinum, silver or titanium. Others prefer a fancier approach and their rings include diamonds and other stones. To see some modern day matching band sets, click here. And, to read about why should NOT take your ring off, ever really, but in public, click here. And read all the way to the bottom for ring cleaning instructions.

K … Kippot, or, yarmulke. In a Jewish wedding you will see the groom and all male guests wearing a head covering called a kippot.

L … Love. Don’t marry someone unless you really do love them. Marriage is not easy at times. Loving the person unconditionally will truly help in the tough times and make the good times even better.

M … Marriage. Wikipedia says marriage is an interpersonal relationship with government, social and religious recognition. Huh.

N … Nuptial. Nuptial is the adjective of Wedding. According to Wikipedia, it is used more in zoology to refer to mating season coupling, however, nuptials are also a marriage ceremony.

O … Outdoor weddings. Outside weddings are increasingly common and are a lot of fun. Usually reserved for the warm-weather months and more common in areas where the scenery is worth celebrating and can be incorporated as decoration in and of itself. Beach weddings, water-front weddings, boat-ride weddings, English-tea garden weddings are all very common wedding experiences.

P … Petals. Rose petals. Consider sprucing up your ceremony site by having rose petals line your aisle. It is a relatively inexpensive way to add some romantic detail to your ceremony site.

Q … Queen! At least you are for one day, so be sure to act like it! Remember that this is your wedding day. And you only get one. You have spent a lot of time planning and dreaming about this day, not to mention you have spent a lot of money on this day too. It is OKAY to be a little demanding and expect that people will put aside petty issues and just celebrate with you. Keep this in mind when dealing with annoying relatives and unruly vendors. You are paying the vendors to do a job for you and you have a right to expect that things be done according to plan and on time. From family members, you have a right to expect that they will put aside petty differences for a few hours for your sake. If they don’t, ask them to deal with these issues tomorrow because you would like the party to be a party.

R … Royal Doulton. Creators of china patterns and casual tableware.

S … Square Diamond.
Or, Princess Cut, as it is commonly referred to as is a very common style of engagement ring.

T … Tuxedo. Most men get married in a tuxedo. The most formal of men’s suits, tuxedos are easy and affordable to rent from a number of local and nationwide stores. Plan ahead and choose a tuxedo style and pattern about four months prior to your wedding so that all the groomsmen and fathers have time to get fitted and secure their rentals.

U … Unwind. Be sure to take some time prior to your wedding to spend some relaxing time with your family. It’s a special time and it will help you relax and focus on your big day ahead.

V … Vera Wang. Not only making dresses these days, Vera Wang has a line of household goods including china, silver and glassware.

W … Winnie Couture

X … X-tras! Be sure to keep an eye out for extras in your wedding planning. Ask all your vendors if they have seasonal specials or even reduced prices for holding your event at less popular times, like Sunday afternoons, Friday evenings and after a holiday weekend.

Y … Yolanda Couture.

Z … Zzzzz…… Sleep! Be sure to get some sleep the night before your wedding. It will help you keep going strong all day and make you feel better too. If you haven’t gotten much rest during your months spent wedding planning, be sure to plan a relaxing honeymoon where you can get plenty of rest. On a beach, in a hammock, on a boat, in the sun, in bed on a rainy afternoon …. many couples spend the first day or so of their honeymoon catching up on much needed rest.

Dear Stacy,
I’m planning my wedding for either February or March of 2008. I’m confused about the colors for my wedding. What colors are acceptable for these months? I’m thinking a dark red, but since it is almost spring would that color be too dark? Also what would be complementary colors? I really don’t want to go with a dark green because it’s too Christmas-y and I’m not crazy about pink or black. What do you think?

White calla lilies, orange tulips and bear grass.

This time of year definitely isn’t clear on what colors are you should have in your wedding. This means to me that you can choose just about anything and make it work.
I know this probably isn’t helping you make a choice, but, allow me to toss out some ideas.

February-March is largely considered late winter but oftentimes spring is just around the corner. People tend to live a little ahead of the seasons, at least the retail world does, right? If you like the idea of a spring-y wedding, then go with something in pastel shades. If you like the look of a wintery wedding with lots of soft blue lighting and candles, think — winter whites and ivory, that will most definitely work too.

Certain flowers always seem to mark this time of year, tulips and daffodils. Do you like yellow and white? You don’t have to use daffodils, but the color, naturally appearing in nature can easily be mimicked in the wedding. And tulips come in many shades too.

If you like deep red but aren’t sure what to pair it with, consider a cream colored flower and a shade of purple or blue, hydrangeas, lilies and irises.

It is possible to make any color combination work, it just takes some thought. If there is one color you definitely want, build around that. A florist can help direct you towards flowers that are available in your area and during that season.

Even an all red bouquet can work - it just needs to be broken up with a litte white or alternating shade of red.

The one last thing that can help when you are at a loss for what color to choose. Think theme. For example, some summer themes can be seen here, but other themes include winter wonderland, spring blossoms, disney themed, ethnic themes, movies, and hawaiian.

wedding, colours, colors, 2008, season, tulips, bear grass, calla

I’ve posted pictures by this baker before just because I think he is amazing.

However … I found this picture under a BLUE themed link.

Cake made by Beautiful Cakes by Ron in Sarasota, Florida.

wedding cake, blue, florida, west coast, cakes by ron

Fall weddings have become increasingly popular lately. 13% of couples are now married in the month of October alone. Depending on your locale, September is a very common month too.

During this season people start thinking more about family and home and being together. This makes for a cozy and romantic wedding.

A common worry about fall weddings is unpredictable weather. Read here for ideas of how to have backup plans that don’t take over the actual plan.

Some potential venues for a fall wedding include country inns, old churches or meeting houses, old barns and restored mills. These weddings have a rustic but casually elegant feel. If you want to incorporate nature and the outdoors, look for orchards and vineyards.
If you just like the feel of the season but want to stay inside, consider a gentleman’s club or university club that has dark wood floors and fireplaces.

Traditional fall color schemes are red, orange, yellow and brown. If you want to keep it more simple and less like a kids coloring book of the seasons, choose one color above, like a dark chocolate color and highlight it with punches of bright yellow or burnt orange, or even a very spring color such as pink. Brown with blue and pink is tremendously popular in the wedding world these days.

If you are keeping with the season for inspiration, consider serving roast turkey, quail and squash soup a baked apple dessert and pumpkin spiced cider.

If you really don’t like the fall colors but enjoy the season, choose a timeless scheme like black and white.
If you are attending a fall wedding and want to be seasonal, consider a dress like one of these for a formal wedding.