Wedding Tactics

If you have already chosen a date for your wedding you know firsthand what a delicate little woven web it is to avoid offending people, trying to make people happy and manage to get married before the end of the decade. For all you recently engaged couples who are still “thinking it over” and “not yet settled on a date” … here are some tips, pitfalls to look out for and general complaints you can expect to hear.

The wedding over a holiday weekend debate meant that travel would be more expensive but people wouldn’t necessarily have to take as much time off from work. I thought I would feel guilty for taking someone’s intensely coveted three-day weekend. Although, in hindsight, I didn’t think much about it once the date was chosen and the invitations were in the mail. What seems huge today will be a faint memory tomorrow.

I got engaged in July, and I always knew I wanted a Fall wedding. That meant that we either had a wedding in December (yes, I know, not so much autumn anymore and also soon) … or we waited a year and a half.

I was not going to wait a year and a half.

Marc also said NO to December for that whole too soon reason. Men! If you can train for a marathon in four months; you can plan a wedding in four months.

When we finally decided where we wanted to get married, we just looked at the dates they had available and the openings began in early May. I did not want to get married on Mother’s Day or Memorial Day. May 20th was the earliest that our venue was available, so, that’s how we decided on our date.

I had friends beg me not to get married in December because they had another wedding to attend the week before, also in Florida and that would have been a lot of traveling for them.

My brother-in-law-to-be also asked me to move my wedding date, after I had put down a deposit, because his girlfriend’s sister was getting married the weekend before, and that’s just a lot of wedding-time for them. Sorry guys, you’ll get over it.

So much for my Fall wedding, or my December wedding.

We chose our date based on what was available at our venue. This was really just the beginning of the flexibility I would need to extend for wedding planning.

I recently met a new mother through a good friend of mine and we exchanged contact information. Upon closer inspection I saw that she had given me her maiden name, not her married name. I am told she plans to change her name any day now. Thing is? She’s been married for over two years now.

When I got married I changed my last name the first full day I was home from the honeymoon.

So did two friends of mine. We all married under the age of thirty, some of us closer to it than others. And neither of us had made a seriously substantial name for ourselves in our respective careers.

Of course, there are some other things that change after you get married. To read more about what you might want to consider, dread or even look forward to, click here.

So what’s the deal these days on changing your name? Keeping your last name? Or, the ultimate, taking on a new name without letting go of the old one.

Regardless of the reasons for changing your name, it is best to start with the Social Security Administration.

For some, its a matter of letting go of the past and all that is attached to a name. It can also be a chance to become someone else, a new you perhaps, or it can just signify that your new roles, wife, spouse, perhaps even mother?

Some people want a name that is easier to spell, easier to pronounce, or one less or even more conspicuous, hinting towards an ethnic background or religious affiliation. And for some it is just a question of tradition, establishing yourself in your newly created family.

I’m curious, did you change your name after you got married? If so, how soon did you make the change?

Posh Nosh Catering located in Raleigh, North Carolina serves the entire Triangle area. They have a diverse catering menu featuring a variety of real foods dressed up just elegantly enough for your wedding. The will create custom menus for your event!

I was looking at images of wedding cakes earlier today and I really like these two. The first one is perfect if you are having a destination wedding a ski resort or even just in the mountains. It is complete with the little snowboarder figurine at the top.
The second cake is very elegant but also just slightly whimsical. It’s perfect for a bride whose mother is begging for a calla lily wedding, but who wants to incorporate some creativity and something “different” while staying within etiquette bounds.

Do you ever wonder how some wedding traditions began?

For example, have you ever heard of a Groom’s cake? Chances are, if you live in Maine or New York, you haven’t a clue as to what this extra cake thing is all about. But! If you live in Louisiana or Florida, chances are, you have already planned to have one at your wedding.

The Groom’s cake is a distinctly southern tradition.

Sometimes the cakes are very traditional and simple, others choose to take this tradition and be ultra-creative, designing cakes in all kinds of shapes and sizes to represent something important to the Groom, such as a certain sports team or hobby or even a city.

Some people say the origin is unclear, however originally, the groom’s cake was a fruitcake (BAH.) that was placed besides the Bride’s cake and late cut and boxed as a take home favor for the guests. There was and still exists a superstition that a bridesmaid should sleep with a slice of groom’s cake under her pillow to dream of her future husband.

Modern Groom’s cakes have taken on a new life. They are often chocolate to contract the white wedding cake, and they come in many designs and styles.

All of these cakes are courtesy of Fancy Cakes by Lauren is located in Dallas, Texas.

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Rehearsal dinners have recently taken on a life of their own. Once thought to be an event planned for the immediate family as a dinner to follow the actual ceremony rehearsal, they are now larger events that often times rival the wedding itself and include sometimes all of the out of town guests.

Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner is given by the groom’s family. Since this usually happens in the bride’s hometown or the couple’s hometown, which isn’t always where the groom’s family lives, planning can be difficult.

It is always best to start early and look for restaurants that can give you a large private room. Since this is the groom’s family’s chance to give a party, understandably, they may feel they need to produce quite the extravaganza. However! Keep in mind … people are coming to these events to celebrate with you and your family. If they are coming solely for the food or entertainment or comfortable classy experience, then, don’t pay any attention to them. Commonly the meal is buffet with barbeque or cook-out style food because it is suppose to be casual. You make the event what you want it to be.

Rehearsal dinners are almost always a much more relaxed and casual event than the actual wedding the following day. Most people will have just arrived into town if they are coming from other cities and states. Give them a nice meal and some music and a good sense of family. Use the rehearsal dinner to set the mood and tone for the next day. Keep it simple. Think family. Marriage. Love. Friendship.

Frequently at rehearsal dinners the couple will run a slide show of themselves as kids and more recent pictures of them together. Last summer I went to rehearsal dinner where the groom made one for his bride. These are great entertainment pieces because it makes the night very reminiscent for the parents and even guests who didn’t know the couple as children always enjoy seeing cute pictures of the couple before they met.

Toasts are given by the family and the bridal party and thanks are given by the couple. Frequently, the couple will choose this time to give small token gifts to the bridal party and their parents.

The rehearsal dinner is a time to relax. It shouldn’t compete with the wedding the following day, but rather, compliment it by adding more time for the family to be together and mingle.

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Have you ever wondered why traditional wedding cakes are several tiers high and what some of those wacky designs are actually made of?

Way way way back in time, wedding cakes were actually thrown at the bride. This was supposedly a tradition celebrating the couple’s fertility, at least according to this story in The Wedding Gazette.

Modern day tradition has been slightly modified from the horrifying sugar-coated experience of having a cake thrown at you to something far more decent, socially acceptable and simply put, cleaner. At most modern weddings the bride and groom cut the first slice of cake together and feed each other a piece. This symbolizes the support they will provide for each other throughout their many years of marriage. Isn’t this just so much nicer? Often times you will see a bride and groom smash the cake in each other’s faces which is also just tradition, but more and more, brides do not want that and *beg and plead with their husbands-to-be to NOT follow that aspect of this tradition.

Wedding cakes have become quite the show piece. They come in all colors, flavors and shapes. Sometimes they don’t actually look like a cake. A friend of mine who got married last June had a cake that looked like a stack of suitcases to go with her wedding theme of a destination wedding where most guests had to travel to Florida for the event. This creation is all cake and totally edible. And I’m getting kinda hungry just writing this entry.

Sometimes choosing a cake a little daunting because the baker is tossing out terms like “$5.00 a slice” and “chocolate ganache with marzipan flowers” which can make a novice cake connoisseurs’ head spin. I’ve listed a few common terms below to help you understand the different kinds of icings so that you can be familiar with cake terminology when you visit bakeries.

Buttercream Icing: Traditional icing. The kind you find on all grocery-store birthday cakes. It is rich and creamy and easily colored and flavored. It is used for some decorations like shells, and basket weaves. It is made with a butter base so it tends to melt in higher temperatures, so it is not recommended for an outside wedding.

Fondant: A Martha Stewart favorite … this icing is smooth and stiff, it is prepared with gelatin and corn syrup and rolled out in a flat sheet and applied to the cake. It is not as tasty as other icings but it looks very classic and sleek. It is ideal for a beach wedding because it can withstand warmer temperatures than a butter based icing.

Royal Icing: Made of a mix of confectioner’s sugar and milk and egg whites it dries to be shiny and hard and does not need refrigeration. Commonly used for decorations like dots and latticework.

Ganache: This is a chocolate icing made with heavy cream. It is very dark and has the consistency of store-bought icing in a jar. It is commonly poured over a cake for a glass-like chocolate finish and also frequently used as a filling between layers. It holds layers together very well. However, this should only be used on a cake that will remain indoors because heat and humidity cause the icing to literally, slide off the cake. Eeek!

Whipped Cream: Totally the most delicious, but also very fragile. This kind of icing isn’t common with wedding cakes because it needs constant refrigeration and wedding cakes are usually on display for a few hours during the reception.

Before you visit a bakery to choose your cake be sure to look at photo galleries online to have an idea of what you want. Most bakers can also make a cake with different size tiers depending on how many people you need to feed. Be sure to have a rough number available to tell them and also discuss with them how far in advance of the wedding day you can make size changes.

*This is one of those postings that I really hope Marc reads and GETS the hidden meaning.

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