Wedding Tactics

Picture from TheKnot.com

It should be common knowledge now that the President’s daughter, Jenna is engaged to be married on May 10, 2008. In a recent issue of People magazine there was a one-page spread of the details they are choosing to publicize. So far, all we know is that the couple is planning a private, 200-person affair in Crawford, Texas.

I suppose Jenna has a soft spot in her heart for Texas. I do not. Had my father been the president and my wedding able to be held at the White House, I think I would have jumped at the chance for this one-of-a-kind venue. However, I’ll overlook our differences in venue to offer Jenna some wedding suggestions.

The best wedding themes debuting this season are green, as in, eco-conscious, eco-friendly, earthy and earth friendly. Even the simplest of “green” touches makes for a trendy wedding. Thus, I recommend for the most famous/infamous family in the nation right now, a “green” wedding. Of course, not every details needs to be free of chemicals, free of harm, free of animal testing, etc …

For starters, for the bride of the season I suggest a classy and traditional gown, appropriate for a country wedding at any time of day and well suited for Jenna’s curvy but fit body.

A silk satin, strapless, dropped waist, Gail Garrison gown with a semi-cathedral train.

A dominant color in this classical but earthy wedding is green. Subtle uses of the timeless color: green.

This Ann Taylor bridesmaid gown in meadow green is affordable and well tailored for the average woman’s body. Although it is a shorter length more typical of an afternoon or country-club wedding, the fabric is elegant enough for evening, especially when paired with heels and an up-do hairstyle.

I am usually a fan of a good splash of color but for a “green” wedding I really like the calla lily. In this photo the bouquet is paired with a few strands of bear grass. Bouquets of callas are best when the stems are left open and wrapped with a single strand of ribbon.

And finally, the sweetest part of the wedding, the cake!

The grass is handpainted on white fondant icing. For more detail on this cake, visit the website of the original baker, Sweet Melissa Patisserie.

Dear Stacy: My fiancé and I are trying to pick the date for our wedding and I am having a slight dilemma. The church doesn’t have anything available this fall and we don’t want to wait until the fall of ‘09 so our next available option is May ‘09. I am not a huge fan of spring colors. I hate pastels. I love fall colors. Would it be tacky to use fall colors in the spring?

Colors are tricky and I feel your pain. There is a good solution to using out-of-season colors. Just because your wedding is happening in the Spring does not mean you must have Spring colors. Pastels can get a little tacky when overused, I agree.

I usually tend to answer a question of this nature with my typical attitude of it’s your wedding, do as you wish, but I will refrain because I think this is a rather relevant topic. My suggestion is this: Choose whatever colors you like, but use seasonal flowers. For examples, tulips in darker colors with the opposite being pastel roses in December. As long as your theme and colors flow, match and compliment correctly, your wedding will not look out of place.

You tell me that you like fall colors, so hypothetically, a deep red with gold accents. In the fall you might use roses and heavier fabrics and candles, to brighten up this display, I recommend the following: dark burgundy or red calla lilies and a gold candle in large hurricanes. This is of course, just a concept; I’m not too big on gold myself. Of course, there are brilliant oranges to consider in this color group too. As long as you don’t accent the table with leaves, you’ll be fine, instead, opt for the rose petals in the fall colors you like.

To avoid looking too “winter season� I would avoid mixing in greenery that would allude to a Christmassy-type design. Simple bouquets with the stems showing are not only modern but simple, elegant and timeless. Hence, the callas above, not the heavy bouquet on the left.

Also, be sure to carry your theme throughout the wedding, use your colors on your cake, on your tables, in the church, at the reception and it will be a complete image, rather than just punches of color that run the risk of looking out of season.

Tulips are in season in the Spring and they come in a large variety of colors and petal shapes which add texture, if that’s your thing. Here is a tulip bouquet that doesn’t scream FALL, at least not to me.

This tulip bouquet has a few strands of bear grass flowing from it, another timeless touch.

I’m not too familiar with uplighting, but if your reception room has solid walls, consider some uplighting to accent the colors and create a warmer room tone.

When I was planning my wedding, less than a year ago, I spent hours just looking for images on the Internet to give me ideas for everything from centerpieces to hairpieces. To help you with your wedding planning, I’ve decided to create an entry consisting of photos to help give you ideas. As the seasons change, wedding colors and dress styles change, so there really are endless ideas and images to choose from. When possible, I will give as much detail about the type of flower or brand of dress that I feature. If you have questions about where I found a certain image, please email me or leave a comment and I will give you more information.

Hairstyles

I predict that 2008 will see a lot of soft low-bun hairstyles with gentle accents like flowers and beading. If you are going to put flowers in your hair, be sure to speak with a florist first and use the ones that are most likely to hold up the longest. For example, stephanotis are great flowers, their little white brilliance is perfect for bridal hair, but they wilt very quickly in sunlight and heat. Instead, use orchids, they are much more hardy.
More hairstyle info can be found by clicking here.

Placement Cards

I really like these placement cards for an afternoon beach-side wedding. While they are not the most elegant, they are cute and would go very well with a surfer/beach/ocean ish theme. You can even touch it up by using a place-card holder like a little mini Adirondack chair or a small photo frame.

Flowers
I really like this bridesmaid bouquet. First of all, I love the pink! Gerber Daisies are one of my favorite flowers. I think they are whimsical and classic — at the same time. Also, the wrapping on the stems adds a very elegant touch. Also, as a bridesmaid, it helps to have something like that ribbon to pin a few extra hair pins into. You never know when the bride might need her veil re-secured.

A … A-line skirt. Invented in the 1960s, it refers to a skirt that is slightly flared at the bottom, creating a very nice line for many body types.

B … Best Man: the term given to the head male assisting the groom in a wedding. In current times, a best man is generally responsible for planning a bachelor party, helping on the wedding day, holding the rings during the ceremony and providing friendly moral support to the groom and the couple.

C … Cut, Color, Carat, and Clarity The cour C’s of a diamond. Cut refers to the shape of the diamond, is it round, oval, pear shaped or emerald cut (rectangle). Color refers to the clearness of the diamond. Not all diamonds are alike. In fact, they are ranked on a scale of color from D to Z. But, for a ring, color usually only goes up to about a J. Anything higher and the stone will have a deeper yellowish to brown color. It is still a diamond, just not a clear diamond.

D … Diamond Engagement Ring

E … Engagement! The average first marriage engagement lasts 9-12 months and the average second marriage engagement lasts anywhere from three to six months.

F … Flowers! Most wedding ceremonies have many flowers as decorations. People use fresh, silk and dried flowers of all different colors and textures to create relaxing, romantic atmospheres for their wedding ceremonies. When it comes to choosing wedding flowers, the sky is truly the limit. You can spend as little as a few hundred to as much as thousands.

G … Guests. GUESTS. Guests can make a wedding the party that you want it to be. They give gifts and come to celebrate with you. They cost you the bulk of your wedding budget in food and alcohol and too often people decorate just to amuse the guests. Without guests, you really don’t have a wedding. It’s a catch-22. This article here talks about how to be a good guest, in a not-too-patronizing kind of way. This one here talks about what NOT to do, as a guest.

H … Honeymoon!!

I … Investment. Consider investing some of your wedding gifts so you can create a nest egg or just a small savings for household projects or future vacations.

J … Jewelery. In many cultures married people wear a wedding band as a sign that they are married. For many, this is as simple as a solid metal band made of gold, platinum, silver or titanium. Others prefer a fancier approach and their rings include diamonds and other stones. To see some modern day matching band sets, click here. And, to read about why should NOT take your ring off, ever really, but in public, click here. And read all the way to the bottom for ring cleaning instructions.

K … Kippot, or, yarmulke. In a Jewish wedding you will see the groom and all male guests wearing a head covering called a kippot.

L … Love. Don’t marry someone unless you really do love them. Marriage is not easy at times. Loving the person unconditionally will truly help in the tough times and make the good times even better.

M … Marriage. Wikipedia says marriage is an interpersonal relationship with government, social and religious recognition. Huh.

N … Nuptial. Nuptial is the adjective of Wedding. According to Wikipedia, it is used more in zoology to refer to mating season coupling, however, nuptials are also a marriage ceremony.

O … Outdoor weddings. Outside weddings are increasingly common and are a lot of fun. Usually reserved for the warm-weather months and more common in areas where the scenery is worth celebrating and can be incorporated as decoration in and of itself. Beach weddings, water-front weddings, boat-ride weddings, English-tea garden weddings are all very common wedding experiences.

P … Petals. Rose petals. Consider sprucing up your ceremony site by having rose petals line your aisle. It is a relatively inexpensive way to add some romantic detail to your ceremony site.

Q … Queen! At least you are for one day, so be sure to act like it! Remember that this is your wedding day. And you only get one. You have spent a lot of time planning and dreaming about this day, not to mention you have spent a lot of money on this day too. It is OKAY to be a little demanding and expect that people will put aside petty issues and just celebrate with you. Keep this in mind when dealing with annoying relatives and unruly vendors. You are paying the vendors to do a job for you and you have a right to expect that things be done according to plan and on time. From family members, you have a right to expect that they will put aside petty differences for a few hours for your sake. If they don’t, ask them to deal with these issues tomorrow because you would like the party to be a party.

R … Royal Doulton. Creators of china patterns and casual tableware.

S … Square Diamond.
Or, Princess Cut, as it is commonly referred to as is a very common style of engagement ring.

T … Tuxedo. Most men get married in a tuxedo. The most formal of men’s suits, tuxedos are easy and affordable to rent from a number of local and nationwide stores. Plan ahead and choose a tuxedo style and pattern about four months prior to your wedding so that all the groomsmen and fathers have time to get fitted and secure their rentals.

U … Unwind. Be sure to take some time prior to your wedding to spend some relaxing time with your family. It’s a special time and it will help you relax and focus on your big day ahead.

V … Vera Wang. Not only making dresses these days, Vera Wang has a line of household goods including china, silver and glassware.

W … Winnie Couture

X … X-tras! Be sure to keep an eye out for extras in your wedding planning. Ask all your vendors if they have seasonal specials or even reduced prices for holding your event at less popular times, like Sunday afternoons, Friday evenings and after a holiday weekend.

Y … Yolanda Couture.

Z … Zzzzz…… Sleep! Be sure to get some sleep the night before your wedding. It will help you keep going strong all day and make you feel better too. If you haven’t gotten much rest during your months spent wedding planning, be sure to plan a relaxing honeymoon where you can get plenty of rest. On a beach, in a hammock, on a boat, in the sun, in bed on a rainy afternoon …. many couples spend the first day or so of their honeymoon catching up on much needed rest.

A loyal reader recently wrote in about not getting to the chapel in time, so to speak. She and her fiance have postponed and now rescheduled their wedding because one of them needed to have surgery. All healed and ready to walk the aisle, they are confused about how to convert their first planned early-summer wedding to a December wedding without looking very last season.

It is important to remember not to be too saddened by the loss of your Spring wedding. You can create something you love just as much and with a little thought and assistance from ME, the unofficial wedding planner.

My two favorite options for winter weddings are the snow-scape inspired drenched in winter white flowers, candles and twinkling lights, something a’la Preston Bailey, OR, take advantage of the richness and bold colors that the season naturally provides and go with darker, richer colors like purples, burgandys and dark greens. There is no rule against a pastel pink wedding in December, so if these options just don’t work for you, do what you want and it will turn out beautiful.

I browsed through many galleries to find some darker flower bouquets that I can see being the highlight of a wintertime wedding.

If you like purples and blues, consider a bouquet of purple orchids. Orchids are more readily available, read: less expensive in certain parts of the country. Try to be a little flexible with your choices, unless price is no obstacle to you.

I think this is a really earthy-looking bouquet, but from a distance, the sunflowers have a fuzzy look that makes me think of dried flowers, which we see in the fall and winter. This bouquet also uses some some bright pink roses to offset the rich browns of the sunflowers.

If your dream bouquet for your Spring-Summer wedding looked like this one below, consider carrying a bouquet that uses only some of the flowers.

Original Choice.

Alternate Option No. 1

Alternate Option No. 2

Alternate Option No.3

If you really don’t like the shades of red and purple above, consider using a deep blue color. These hydrangeas work with all seasons and you can accent them with many colors and patterns too.

Some brides are very concerned about their color palate, but I wouldn’t advise turning yourself in knots. If you choose a few colors or items that are important to you, like, for example, your bouquet, you can build the rest of the wedding around that. You can pull in greenery to your ceremony in your bouquet, or on the chairs or arch or chuppah. Just because you use elaborate flowers in your bouquet doesn’t mean your centerpieces need to match.

It is okay to have a $200 bouquet for yourself and spend $40 on your centerpieces. Just remember, candle light is an excellent and very inexpensive addition to any table. The warm glow matches any season and especially, in this case, the flame gives off a sense of warmth, a nice touch for a December wedding.

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While it is not at all required or necessary, it can be helpful if your wedding has a color scheme or a theme to work with. It gives all the vendors something to build around. It helps determine what flowers will work best; unless of course, you KNOW what you want already. It can help you look for exactly what you want, among the myriad of choices and options.

Black and white is a classic theme. It is elegant and sophisticated and can make up for a lack of that in the venue while at the same time, it can enhance an already elegant and fabulous venue. All of the wedding colors can seem intimidating and black and white actually goes with anything, anywhere and at any time of day or year.

Here are some pictures to get you thinking about a black and white theme.

Remember, touches of color are very much okay too.

Bridesmaids in black dresses:

Invitation, black ink on white paper:

Bouquet, keeping with the black and white theme:

Simple centerpieces for a black and white theme wedding:

And, finally, a wedding isn’t a wedding without the cake:
And I couldn’t choose just one!

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What comes first? The color, or the flower?

My good friend M who got married last year knew she wanted a variety of colors including purples, lavenders and blues in her wedding décor. She went to her florist and pointed at photos of things she liked and they put together for her an amazing set of bouquets, centerpieces and Temple decorations. M, admittedly doesn’t know a daisy from a daffodil (or something to the effect that she doesn’t know the names of flowers), so she chose colors and let the florist choose the flower. This is a very common way of choose your floral decorations.

Me? I never make things easy for myself.

I know my flowers. I do NOT have any sense of color coordination whatsoever! I do not know how to mix my lights and darks and textures and patterns. If I wear black pants with blue pinstripes to work, I wear a blue top and black shoes to match. See? ZERO creativity. Alas! I have a desire for creativity, but I suppose I lack the gumption to be daring.

But I digress …

As I was saying…. I love flowers. I know them by name. I adore hydrangeas! The blues and pinks, and the green flowers are simply so natural and elegant! I also love lilies. Roses come in so many colors and textures, but I wouldn’t know where to begin. There was a time in my life when I wanted my wedding to be in my parent’s front yard and I would wear a simple linen dress and carry a bouquet of sunflowers. I have looked at hundreds of sample bouquet pictures, hated a lot and loved a lot. Remember, I don’t make decisions well. Then, I saw this gorgeous bouquet on TheKnot.com and had my heart set on this bouquet and this color scheme, soft blue and white.

The first florist I met with was a large-framed German woman who had a very strong accent. She took one look at the picture I had of what I knew was MY bouquet, and said,

“Dis is not going to vork. Vhese hyacinths are actually puuurpul, not blue.
It is vary hard to find zee bluuuu vons.
So I vil have to use zee purpul vons instead.�

Fast forward to right now.

She is not my florist. I know the blue ones are totally available; they are sold in the darn grocery stores every Easter!

Then, I saw a picture of Nicole Kidman’s wedding to Keith Urban back in June. She carried a huge bouquet of pink peonies and I developed yet another unnatural attraction to a specific bouquet, once again, putting the flower before the color. So, now, my wedding colors became pink and something else to be determined later. So as it stands right now, I’m copying Nicole Kidman. If peonies are good enough for her, they’re good enough for me!

Moral #1: It is okay to choose the flowers you want before you know what color you want, but you have to be willing to be a little flexible and accept price fluctuations. But, if you are a NORMAL person, unlike me, pick your colors first.

Moral #2: When you hear, Dis is not going to vork … run like heck! Because! What you want, can work!

It’s not unusual for a bride to have two bouquets - one for throwing and one for keeping (probably the one used in the ceremony itself). It’s also not unusual for some unsuspecting maiden to find herself on the bottom of a bouquet pile-up when the bride makes her toss!

Here’s a wonderful semi-solution to the problem (and something relatively simple to make yourself):

Using manufactured flowers, silk or otherwise, create several mini-bouquets (they don’t have to be elaborate), and attach to each of them a small charm or tiny card, personally written, of course. The number of bouquets is up to you. Tie the bunches together to form one large bouquet–just before the traditional tossing of the bridal bouquet, be sure to untie them so each of the bouquets can sail unattached to the waiting guests, though!

The charms can hold some meaning for the bride/groom—luck, hope, family, love—the list is endless, and charms are relatively easy to find at a reasonable price. From what I’ve read, this charming custom was popular in the 19th century.

Alternatively, the notes can be anything from words of inspiration or personal thanks for joining the couple on their day. What you write is completely your own.

Both can be attached with inexpensive ribbons, or something else of your choosing.

Either way, these mini-bouquets are a wonderful way to add something special to your wedding, and as the many tiny bouquets find an owner, there’s less chance of grievous injury happening to any of the hopefuls. It’s also a lot of fun seeing who gets what bouquet!

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Your bridal bouquet is something many brides treasure for years to come, often putting them on display in their homes long after the ceremony has ended. But sometimes those pretty bouquets fade with age, or, in the case of the living bouquet, die unpreserved.

Take heart, though, there is a solution to this problem.

Swarovski Crystal Bouquets and Boutonnieres

Shown as a waterfall but also available in a straight construction. Larger handheld crystal bouquets are also available by adding 50 more stems for a total of 400 Swarovski crystals. Can also be created in all glass pearls, all Czech crystal, Czech crystal and pearls, or Swarovski crystal and pearls.

Isn’t this just brilliant? A bouquet that will last for years, and makes a beautiful addition to a your wedding keepsakes! You could possibly even pass this down to the next generation of brides!

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