Wedding Tactics

Woo Hoo!

Looks like we made it
Left each other on the way,
To another love
Looks like we made it
Or I thought so, till today
Until you were there
everywhere
And all I could taste was love
the way we made it

Come on people! This is a wedding website, you gotta love a little Barry Manilow.

Anyway, I’m on AllTop, a virtual “magazine rack” of all the top web sites broken down by category and topic. You must check it out … Alltop. The best of the best are on Alltop, it’s a starting point, not a final destination, or so they say, but it is a list of all the most recent postings from many sites covering many topics. I am honored to be listed with tons of other amazing websites and blogs. We’ve joined the ranks with some of the TOP wedding sites. Click here to visit the WEDDING section.

It isn’t much of a secret that traditional weddings use a lot of STUFF and are not exactly known for being earth-friendly or resourceful. But you can change that starting right here! With just a little forethought and some action plans you can make your wedding environmentally friendly, economical and create less waste.

By considering where your wedding food and decorations are coming from and making a few simple choices and changes you can help to eliminate transportation fees and added traffic. Using an on-site caterer for all of your food and beverage needs, as well as having the cake prepared on-site will take a refrigerated truck off of your local roads and you will be saving the fees associated with those deliveries.

Florists usually have delivery fees as well and they cart those gorgeous blooms around in a truck, a big ‘ole refrigerated one, which means more gas and more environmental impact. Consider negotiating with them to deliver a day or so before hand and use the refrigerator on-site to store the flowers until the event, if they are able to deliver at a less traffic-congested hour or when it is more convenient for them, they might be willing to waive delivery fees and you won’t be making any more traffic.

Weddings often give out programs which use several different kinds of paper and often ribbon too. If you put out a collection box near your gift or cake table people can return them so you can save them or dispose of them responsibly at your local recycling center. Or, just skip this step and save yourself the cost and time of preparing programs which usually just result in paper waste.

Jewish weddings usually give out personalized yarmulkes. If you take it home and lay it inside of a drawer you can have the perfect soft and contained spot for a rings or pair of earrings.

Also, consider printing your invitations on recycled paper and print on the back side a request that they be recycled.

Just by taking a few minutes to consider alternatives and other uses for items used in your wedding you can make a big impact on your local environment, and often times, your wallet.

I recently met a new mother through a good friend of mine and we exchanged contact information. Upon closer inspection I saw that she had given me her maiden name, not her married name. I am told she plans to change her name any day now. Thing is? She’s been married for over two years now.

When I got married I changed my last name the first full day I was home from the honeymoon.

So did two friends of mine. We all married under the age of thirty, some of us closer to it than others. And neither of us had made a seriously substantial name for ourselves in our respective careers.

Of course, there are some other things that change after you get married. To read more about what you might want to consider, dread or even look forward to, click here.

So what’s the deal these days on changing your name? Keeping your last name? Or, the ultimate, taking on a new name without letting go of the old one.

Regardless of the reasons for changing your name, it is best to start with the Social Security Administration.

For some, its a matter of letting go of the past and all that is attached to a name. It can also be a chance to become someone else, a new you perhaps, or it can just signify that your new roles, wife, spouse, perhaps even mother?

Some people want a name that is easier to spell, easier to pronounce, or one less or even more conspicuous, hinting towards an ethnic background or religious affiliation. And for some it is just a question of tradition, establishing yourself in your newly created family.

I’m curious, did you change your name after you got married? If so, how soon did you make the change?

Well, folks, sorry for the delay in postings since the new year. I went and had a baby last month and things got a little bit busy over here with the caring for a two week old and all.

There is lots more to come in wedding features planned for 2008. Please stay tuned …

I hereby declare my availability to assist in the planning of the First Daughter’s wedding. If my services aren’t not needed, and how could they NOT BE!? I will surely attempt to get a sneak peak at the big shindig by relentlessly flashing my 451Press Press Pass.

Although I will most definitely be the *only* non republican there.

Welcome to the first ever Wedding Tactics Contest!

First of hopefully many more.

I am going to start small, so this will be fairly simple and fairly easy to win, depending on how many people enter.

This is a question/comment contest. Each question (of value!) submitted as a comment between now (Monday August 6, 2007) and NOON eastern time on Friday, August 10th will be entered into a drawing which will take place on Friday night, whenever I get around to it. The winner will be emailed on Saturday, providing they leave in the comment field a valid email address. The winner will be selected at random - I will put all of ya’lls names in a hat and let me dear husband draw a name.

I am hoping to get valid feedback and questions that I can use to answer in postings and to refocus some of my writing. If you like this website, please submit a question and it will, in time, get answered.

Want to know what you are playing for!?

One lucky winner will receive a reversible crusher hat with “BRIDE” on the front in rhinestones, and “Just Married” on the inside. This actually makes a great sun-soaked honeymoon take-along.

Are you ready to play!? Great! Use the comment button or email me directly with questions about weddings, wedding planning, honeymoons, or even about my wedding. The questions will be answered in time and you will be entered to win that awesome hat pictured above.

Dear Loyal Readers and not-so-loyal readers (aka: lurkers),

I apologize for the lack of postings and the short postings that I attempted to make into something cohesive. I regret dropping the ball on you and the ongoing themes I discuss here. But, life really got in the way. As I write this I’m reminded how much I enjoy blogging and as soon as my wedding and honeymoon are over, I promise to return full force with total wedding gusto!

However, for now, my wedding day has just about arrived! I traveled from Maryland to Florida this morning, rented a car, drove an hour, had a dress fitting, and then worked on a million and one details and … I’m actually feeling really good about everything and I wanted to mention a few things I have learned, just today!

I have always heard that you should mention to everyone and anyone that you are on your honeymoon, or that something is for your wedding, as you never know when a free upgrade is right around the corner. Well! No kidding! It does work!!

I arrived at the airport this morning at around 8:45am. I reported to Marc that I would carry all of my bags. He laughed and went to get a Smarte Carte. While he was twenty feet away from me, I opened the trunk and said very loudly in open-jawed fashion, I have FOUR BAGS!? And, ya’ll? That’s four CHECKED bags, not counting the purse and backpack as carry-on.

I loaded up the cart and wheeled myself through the line at the Southwest counter. I was smiling from ear to ear, thinking, I’m leaving town for my wedding! The only thing potentially spoiling the mood was the man behind me whose idea of personal space was something akin to the stampede at Best Buy when they open the doors at 3am on Christmas Eve to sell Wii machines for five dollars to the first seven people inside the door.

When I got to the counter, I was very pleasant and friendly, cause, you know, if you didn’t notice yet, I’m going to my wedding! I then decided to make a joke out of myself, there is no way I’m going to get away with checking FOUR damn bags.

I handed the lady my credit card and then told her that I only travel this light when I’m going to my wedding. She laughed and handed me back my credit card and said, “Consider it an early wedding gift, congratulations.” Free. Totally escaped a $50 per bag charge for my extra two bags. SCORE!

At this point I decided that whoring myself for free and discounted wedding items was beyond worthwhile.

I later shamelessly flirted with the car rental attendant and it got me an awesome blue convertible Mustang and some heavy duty pats on the back to my ego - the *dude totally fell all over himself telling me how lucky my finance was and how sad it was that I was going to be off the market. I told him I was sending a sympathy card and that men all over creation would manage somehow now that I’m almost officially “taken”.

Speaking of “taken” … I’m looking forward to it. I had a brief moment today, and I do mean brief, because mainly, I didn’t actually time to think for myself. The passing idea of how did I get here? Am I sure? What am I doing? But it passed and I really am excited and thrilled to be moving forward with my life with Marc. I honestly do not have any cold feet.

*Rich - Wink Wink!!

In exactly two weeks from this MOMENT, I will be dancing at my own wedding.

I will have already cut the cake.

I will be wearing my wedding ring.

I will have danced with my Dad. (Waaaaaa! I’m SO emotional on this one! I can’t wait)

Marc and I will have two more hours of fun and dancing and talking until we head out into the moonlight in out decorated getaway car.

I’m so thrilled I am glowing. I don’t know how I will maintain any composure this week at work. I’m concerned that I won’t be able to think straight.

VICE PRESIDENT OF STACY’s COMPANY: Stacy, can you please summarize this report and email a copy to me the CEO?

ME: I’m getting married in less than 2 weeks!

VICE PRESIDENT: Um, great, can I have that by 3pm?

ME: MARRIED! VEIL! DRESS! THE BRIDE! ME… AM THE BRIDE!

VICE PRESIDENT: noticably concerned and mildy frustrated The sooner you can focus on that the better.

ME: … thinks to self, must call pet sitting service because AM GETTING MARRIED

If you can’t manage to follow this posting you are very much not alone. Very soon you will have postings that might actually HELP YOU! Once I return to this planet and get over my own damn swollen ego about getting married, I will be a better writer and advocate for all.

In the mean time, feel free to check out a new site, Saving for a Wedding.

Rehearsal dinners have recently taken on a life of their own. Once thought to be an event planned for the immediate family as a dinner to follow the actual ceremony rehearsal, they are now larger events that often times rival the wedding itself and include sometimes all of the out of town guests.

Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner is given by the groom’s family. Since this usually happens in the bride’s hometown or the couple’s hometown, which isn’t always where the groom’s family lives, planning can be difficult.

It is always best to start early and look for restaurants that can give you a large private room. Since this is the groom’s family’s chance to give a party, understandably, they may feel they need to produce quite the extravaganza. However! Keep in mind … people are coming to these events to celebrate with you and your family. If they are coming solely for the food or entertainment or comfortable classy experience, then, don’t pay any attention to them. Commonly the meal is buffet with barbeque or cook-out style food because it is suppose to be casual. You make the event what you want it to be.

Rehearsal dinners are almost always a much more relaxed and casual event than the actual wedding the following day. Most people will have just arrived into town if they are coming from other cities and states. Give them a nice meal and some music and a good sense of family. Use the rehearsal dinner to set the mood and tone for the next day. Keep it simple. Think family. Marriage. Love. Friendship.

Frequently at rehearsal dinners the couple will run a slide show of themselves as kids and more recent pictures of them together. Last summer I went to rehearsal dinner where the groom made one for his bride. These are great entertainment pieces because it makes the night very reminiscent for the parents and even guests who didn’t know the couple as children always enjoy seeing cute pictures of the couple before they met.

Toasts are given by the family and the bridal party and thanks are given by the couple. Frequently, the couple will choose this time to give small token gifts to the bridal party and their parents.

The rehearsal dinner is a time to relax. It shouldn’t compete with the wedding the following day, but rather, compliment it by adding more time for the family to be together and mingle.

rehearsal dinner, slide show, wedding, favors, bride, groom

First off, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

For all of you new readers, I’m very thrilled to be a part of the 451 Press team. I’m have some great ideas up my sleeve to keep you informed, entertained, laughing, and most of all, to keep you reading. These will all be unveiled over the course of THIS week.

I want to give a shout out to all the bloggers and readers who are also getting married this year. If you have questions, concerns or anything you think is relevant to an entry, send me an email or leave a comment and let’s get this forum really hopping. Also, a personal note to my good friend T, who is getting married in October, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU! ARE GETTING MARRIED THIS YEAR!

I’m really just an average gal. I’m not overly girlie; in fact, I sort of have to force the girly-ness sometimes. I’m very practical and down to earth, most of the time. However, when it comes to my own wedding, sometimes I am very concerned about the flowers and favors, sometimes I am not.

More relevant to this blog, I have been knee deep in research about wedding traditions around the world, random wedding facts, and lots of very irrelevant wedding related trivia. Stay tuned this week for an idea of what there is to come this year.

Of the myriad of things I will be discussing here is the relevance of a milk-bath in a Moroccan wedding ceremony, and why the bride and groom both kiss their parents knees in a Sudanese wedding ceremony and how the word “wed” is actually derived from the Greek word “pledge” and why that means that no matter in what country you choose to marry, if you wed, you are pledging yourself to someone else.

All of these random good facts and more are in the pipeline as well as tips and strategies for wiggling out of bad vendor relationships and tips for managing stress, talking with in-laws, combining and not combining finances, when to do it, and throughout all of this will be the laughable and tear-inducing truths of my own wedding-planning and marriage-planning endeavors.

Stay tuned.

Happy New Year!